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Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,070,925 times
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Here as well, also on page 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by neutrino78x
If I went to a urology appointment, with no major medical problems found, and my girlfriend said "oh were you aroused", I wouldn't say "how DARE you say that?? we have to break up!". lol.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,070,925 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa
The point is, medical care is clinical. There is nothing sexy about a speculum, metal curette, or the plates of mammography equipment, believe me.
There is to some, including people who have had health scares. Do you think it means that someone is immature unless they give up on exploring their sexuality when they turn 30? I don't see it that way. I guess some do.
Quote:
When my tumor was discovered, it was during one of those routine, "sexy" visits, an annual exam..
I'm sorry to hear about your cancer. Yes, that's different (as I already said). But we're not talking about that. We're talking about a routine, uneventful exam, in which nothing threatening is found. That's not a dark situation.
Even if something is found, I wouldn't want to be with someone who wants me to constantly feel dark about it. I want to be lead into the light. You see, I have a lot of sadness in my life because of the lack of relationships, my financial situation, my living situation, etc. Cancer would make me feel worse.
So if I had a girlfriend at that time and she made me feel like I should give up on life, I don't think that would help.
I would prefer her to be upbeat and encourage me to fight it and taste life and live life to the fullest, up the end. But like I said, two different ways of looking at it. Both are mature, just very different.
Potentially incompatible, yes I agree. Hopefully not incompatible, though.
Last edited by neutrino78x; 03-30-2014 at 11:57 PM..
There is to some, including people who have had health scares. I won't go into the graphic details, but it's called medical fetishism. Do you think it means that someone is immature unless they give up on exploring their sexuality when they turn 30? I don't see it that way. I guess some do.
I'm sorry to hear about your cancer. Yes, that's different (as I already said). But we're not talking about that. We're talking about a routine, uneventful exam, in which nothing threatening is found. That's not a dark situation.
Even if something is found, I wouldn't want to be with someone who wants me to constantly feel dark about it. I want to be lead into the light. You see, I have a lot of sadness in my life because of the lack of relationships, my financial situation, my living situation, etc. Cancer would make me feel worse.
So if I had a girlfriend at that time and she made me feel like I should give up on life, I don't think that would help.
I would prefer her to be upbeat and encourage me to fight it and taste life and live life to the fullest, up the end. But like I said, two different ways of looking at it. Both are mature, just very different.
Potentially incompatible, yes I agree. Hopefully not incompatible, though.
I'm not sure why you think that making sexual jokes about doctor exams is the only way to cheer someone up or that if you don't make sexual jokes about doctor exams you must be a serious and dark person. This is just bizarre to me. My husband and I laugh all the time.
There is to some, including people who have had health scares. I won't go into the graphic details, but it's called medical fetishism. Do you think it means that someone is immature unless they give up on exploring their sexuality when they turn 30? I don't see it that way. I guess some do.
Even if something is found, I wouldn't want to be with someone who wants me to constantly feel dark about it. I want to be lead into the light. You see, I have a lot of sadness in my life because of the lack of relationships, my financial situation, my living situation, etc. Cancer would make me feel worse.
So if I had a girlfriend at that time and she made me feel like I should give up on life, I don't think that would help.
I would prefer her to be upbeat and encourage me to fight it and taste life and live life to the fullest, up the end. But like I said, two different ways of looking at it. Both are mature, just very different.
Potentially incompatible, yes I agree. Hopefully not incompatible, though.
you are equating someone thinking a guy is immature who makes stupid sex jokes every time the OP has to go to the gynecologist to someone who would try to make someone feel bad about having cancer and that they want to make them feel like they should give up on life?
being upbeat and encouraging to someone who has cancer is not even nearly close to the same thing as thinking someone is annoying for tasteless stupid immature sex jokes about going to the gynecologist every time you have to go. you make it sound like if someone thinks the OPs SO is immature for his dumb jokes that they would also be a total debbie downer in every aspect of their life. i would not tolerate all the sophomoric jokes every time i had to go to the gyn. but i have a very good sense of humor. i have had comments and jokes with friends about going to the gyn. i have had conversations and jokes about having colonoscopies. not about how sexually arousing these things are. that is ridiculous. but jokes about how uncomfortable but necessary these things are. there is a difference.
you are talking about totally different things.
most (all?) of the women have responded that they would not appreciate the gyn sex jokes every time. i'm sure there are women out there who would laugh and joke right along with him. but the fact that most women would find that irritating or unacceptable does not mean that they are uptight prudes who can't take a joke about things we all need to do in life. i can't believe i am responding to you again. i need to slap myself.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,070,925 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachie123
. you make it sound like if someone thinks the OPs SO is immature for his dumb jokes that they would also be a total debbie downer in every aspect of their life.
Yes, that is basically my opinion.
Examinations like that are kind of invasive and embarrassing, some see that as a source of humor, others want to be serious about it. The way you react to it probably reflects your outlook on life in general.
I can be a downer too, when I start thinking about all the things that are wrong in my life right now. No relationship, probably never will have one, minimum wage job, don't have a car, don't know how to drive, had to move back in with my dad several months ago, etc. When I think about all that I feel sad, especially the relationship part. That makes me feel lonely and empty. But I eventually try to pull myself out of that hole and think about better things, and hope that the future will be better. That would be harder if I were one of those who can't joke around about medical examinations.
So there are two camps. And if you are in one camp and really feel that you can't tolerate the other camp, well, a relationship with someone from the other camp may not work.
Examinations like that are kind of invasive and embarrassing, some see that as a source of humor, others want to be serious about it. The way you react to it probably reflects your outlook on life in general.
I can be a downer too, when I start thinking about all the things that are wrong in my life right now. No relationship, probably never will have one, minimum wage job, don't have a car, don't know how to drive, had to move back in with my dad several months ago, etc. When I think about all that I feel sad, especially the relationship part. That makes me feel lonely and empty. But I eventually try to pull myself out of that hole and think about better things, and hope that the future will be better. That would be harder if I were one of those who can't joke around about medical examinations.
So there are two camps. And if you are in one camp and really feel that you can't tolerate the other camp, well, a relationship with someone from the other camp may not work.
Hopefully it will work.
you didn't also quote where i said that i have joked about gyn exams as well as having colonoscopies. having a sense of humor about these things is fine. having a boyfriend/husband who gets all horn dogged out every time i have to go to the gynecologist? completely different. again, i have a very good sense of humor. i have never had anyone tell me that i am a downer or that i have no humor. i have good repertoire with people in a joking manner in all sorts of subjects. but that doesn't mean that every.single.thing.in.life is a joke and that everything has to be made into a juvenile sex joke.
if you ever find someone, i urge you to ask juvenile questions every time she has to go the gynecologist and then come back here and tell us all how that works for you. but don't just do one joke. give her a few each time. maybe she'll like it and you two will be peas in a pod!
the OP has a choice to tolerate the jokes and comments or not. i would not. although i don't know what really she can do about it if she has already asked him to stop and he continues. i just looked again, they are in their 40's!
i can't be with someone with no sense of humor. that is my number one favorite thing about a guy. juvenile sex comments and questions about something like going to the doctor is not the same thing as having a sense of humor or having a positive outlook on life.
Last edited by beachie123; 03-31-2014 at 01:13 AM..
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