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Because you're saying that some jokes are ok and others are not. You are placing artificially absolute distinctions on the matter. I mean if you're joking around, then anything should be ok. Technically, any kind of joke in a clinical situation is perverting the situation. When you're doing something technical or clinical, and you don't pay attention, you could make a mistake and miss something critical or cause injury. But in the real world -- and I've experienced a lot more of the real world than people who have not been in the military -- people do act in a lighthearted manner and make inappropriate comments to amuse each other. At least, some do. Others aren't comfortable with that. Like I said there are two camps.
This is all complete nonsense. I mean, seriously. Nonsense. People have different senses of humor. People find different things arousing. Obviously - you find women getting gynecological exams arousing. I would say you are in the extreme minority. But how can you even say that if you're joking around - ANYTHING should be okay? So, is it okay when a bigot makes racist jokes? I mean - if you are joking around - ANYTHING should be okay - right? Can I make fun of you for being a virgin and never having a relationship? I mean - I'm only joking and I find it funny? Or are you not really okay with ALL jokes? What if I make fun of a blind person? I'm only joking - and all jokes are ok. My dad was deaf. He didn't like it when people made fun of him - but they were only joking - right?
From your posts, you have actually not experienced the real world more than people who have not been in the military. You have experienced the military world more than people who have not been in the military but you have never had a relationship - and that is a whole other world.
I'm not sure why I'm trying to get through to you. I don't think it's really possible. Your argument is so flawed that I don't understand how you can even think it's a valid argument.
I thought you said doing that is immature? I guess you're immature, then.
You really just don't get it. But I don't think you really want to get it. You've latched on to some ridiculous idea and you basically refuse to listen to anything that goes against that. But that's okay.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,948,491 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neutrino78x
Because you're saying that some jokes are ok and others are not. You are placing artificially absolute distinctions on the matter.
You know, I'm not uptight about joking around, but to me the joking isn't the issue. The issue is entirely about having your partner know you don't like that type of joking at your expense, yet they continue to do it. If I am seeing something and I know a certain type of joke annoys the heck out of them, I don't do it in their presence. To me, it is called "not being a jerk" and having respect for the people around you.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,068,566 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
This is all complete nonsense. I mean, seriously. Nonsense. People have different senses of humor. People find different things arousing.
That's my point, not yours. Your point was that no one can have a different sense of humor or a different sense of what is arousing than you do without being immature.
So I guess you admit now that I am right, then?
Quote:
Obviously - you find women getting gynecological exams arousing.
I never said that. I merely said that if someone does, it does not mean they are immature. Many mature people find such things arousing, and many mature people do not. Whether or not one finds it arousing does not indicate their level of maturity. They don't choose to find it arousing or not find it arousing, it is just how they feel.
Quote:
if you are joking around - ANYTHING should be okay - right?
That's what I said. It depends on the context; in the context of "joking around", with no comments intended in hostility, then yes, anything should be all right.
With the woman going to an exam, the context is her SO -- who is presumably going to be attracted to her, and being attracted to her doesn't make him immature -- making the comment that there is an erotic component, for him. It's not intended to somehow make fun of his SO. It is not intended in any kind of hostile sense. So yes, in my opinion it's fine.
If she really is seriously hurt by such a trivial thing, however, they might not be right for each other.
Quote:
From your posts, you have actually not experienced the real world more than people who have not been in the military.
Really? How deep have you been underwater? Have you run into a fire? Have you had to threaten a potentially innocent person with a loaded shotgun in the defense of your country? We do these things to protect Americans from the real world.
Quote:
I'm not sure why I'm trying to get through to you. I don't think it's really possible. Your argument is so flawed that I don't understand how you can even think it's a valid argument.
There isn't really an argument here. I think it is not immature to make joking/lighthearted comments in a clinical situation, you think it is immature. I'm not going to convince you and you're not going to convince me. Part of maturity is realizing that people have differences, and as long as those differences are not threatening, you can accept them.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,068,566 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
You know, I'm not uptight about joking around, but to me the joking isn't the issue. The issue is entirely about having your partner know you don't like that type of joking at your expense, yet they continue to do it. If I am seeing something and I know a certain type of joke annoys the heck out of them, I don't do it in their presence. To me, it is called "not being a jerk" and having respect for the people around you.
Oh no I agree, if she says it is an issue and he ignores that, they have a problem.
In fact, even if he does stop doing it, they potentially still have a problem, because she is offended by such comments and is in a relationship with someone who is not offended by such comments.
So, on that we agree.
I'm objecting to the concept that making the comments means that he is immature.
Wow, so posting about an amusing and annoying behavior of my SO now means I'm "fixated"
Posting about it once? Meh, maybe not.
Posting about it 872,519 times, saying the same thing repeatedly, while having an extremely strong defensive and emotional reaction to every single response to every post? Yes, undoubtedly.
You don't come across as amused in the slightest-- You come across as angry. Talk to your SO about it. If that doesn't work, go to couples' counseling.
I thought your complaint was that his comments were not amusing and that they hurt you, and anyone who thinks there is anything amusing or erotic about a woman going to the doctor for a routine examination (in which no threatening medical conditions are found) is immature?
If his behavior is in fact "amusing", what's the problem?
I mean the issue is "amusing" in that it's something that annoys me, but that I'd roll my eyes about, and not make a huge dramatic issue about. The jokes themselves are annoying and not amusing at all. There is nothing amusing about a medical exam, and nothing amusing about his jokes. But the fact that a 45 year on man in general, does this, is funny to me. Annoyingly funny. Nothing "hurt" me, just annoyed me. I'd have to be extremely hypersensitive to be "hurt" by it. It's like when guys leave the empty roll of toilet paper on the holder. It's annoying, and I can joke about it with girlfriends, but it's still annoying. It's nothing to break up over. It's just irksome and getting "old." But it's nothing I'd make a huge deal about, aside from venting online anonymously, or telling my girlfriends about it in the context of "here's another reason why guys are annoying..."
Posting about it 872,519 times, saying the same thing repeatedly, while having an extremely strong defensive and emotional reaction to every single response to every post? Yes, undoubtedly.
Well, I only posted this one thread on the topic, so it's safe to say it's not a life-or-death issue to me. again, if I had a life-or-death issue, I would not be posting about it online.
I also don't believe I showed any strong emotional or defensive reaction in any of my posts, so I assume you're talking about posters in general and not about me.
That's my point, not yours. Your point was that no one can have a different sense of humor or a different sense of what is arousing than you do without being immature.
So I guess you admit now that I am right, then?
I never said that. I merely said that if someone does, it does not mean they are immature. Many mature people find such things arousing, and many mature people do not. Whether or not one finds it arousing does not indicate their level of maturity. They don't choose to find it arousing or not find it arousing, it is just how they feel.
That's what I said. It depends on the context; in the context of "joking around", with no comments intended in hostility, then yes, anything should be all right.
With the woman going to an exam, the context is her SO -- who is presumably going to be attracted to her, and being attracted to her doesn't make him immature -- making the comment that there is an erotic component, for him. It's not intended to somehow make fun of his SO. It is not intended in any kind of hostile sense. So yes, in my opinion it's fine.
If she really is seriously hurt by such a trivial thing, however, they might not be right for each other.
Really? How deep have you been underwater? Have you run into a fire? Have you had to threaten a potentially innocent person with a loaded shotgun in the defense of your country? We do these things to protect Americans from the real world.
There isn't really an argument here. I think it is not immature to make joking/lighthearted comments in a clinical situation, you think it is immature. I'm not going to convince you and you're not going to convince me. Part of maturity is realizing that people have differences, and as long as those differences are not threatening, you can accept them.
First of all - as I pointed out - you have experienced the MILITARY world more than people who have not been in the military. I have not run into a fire. I have not done any military things. But that is not the only "real world." Have you fallen in love? Have you slept in the arms of the person you love? Have you had your heart broken? Have you held your newborn baby in your arms? Have you stayed up all night with a sick child?
Secondly - your posts make less and less sense to me. I don't think you understand relationships.
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