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Well, that's fine. As long as you accept that other people may think there is a sexual component, without being immature, then we agree.
To be honest, if a guy was making comments like the ones in the OP, I would think he had never seen a naked woman or had sex before. Obviously, the OP's husband has seen a naked woman and has had sex before - but those kind of jokes would make me think otherwise. And, yes, they do seem like immature jokes.
We don't have to agree on this. And I have a feeling that if you had more life experience in this area - you might see things differently.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neutrino78x
Sure I do, and again, the OP needs to tell her husband how she feels, if it is so offensive to her.
But until that is established, there is nothing immature about discussing these feelings with her in private.
Again, this shows a lack of real life knowledge about being in a relationship. If I had to verbally hear something made my partner uneasy in order to know not to do it, I would never have any luck.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
And, yes, they do seem like immature jokes.
Why? Once you get to a certain age you can't have sexual feelings anymore?
The immature aspect would be continuing to bother her about it once she says the experience is negative for her and she doesn't want to hear about any sexual feelings he may have regarding the situation.
Having the feeling, by itself, is not immature. Nor is discussing it with her in private.
Quote:
We don't have to agree on this.
As long as you agree that my disagreement doesn't make me immature or not as good as you, no I don't have any problem with your disagreement.
Uh, no one suggested anyone thought assault is funny or erotic. We're talking about medical exams.
And I hope you're aware that a medical professional touching a client with sexual intent (such as is the basic conceit behind the "hot gynecologist," "hey, did you get excited at the OB-GYN" variety of crass jokes) ABSOLUTELY would constitute sexual assault (not to mention medical malpractice).
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Again, this shows a lack of real life knowledge about being in a relationship. If I had to verbally hear something made my partner uneasy in order to know not to do it, I would never have any luck.
Really? So if you think your partner looks sexy while sitting in her chair in a college class, and you are both 40, would you choose not mention this because it is immature to feel that way and it is immature to tell her she looks sexy?
Obviously, you are right that once she tells him it hurts her, he should stop.
However, before she tells him that, he wouldn't necessarily know that hearing that is something that hurts her.
Why? Once you get to a certain age you can't have sexual feelings anymore?
The immature aspect would be continuing to bother her about it once she says the experience is negative for her and she doesn't want to hear about any sexual feelings he may have regarding the situation.
Having the feeling, by itself, is not immature. Nor is discussing it with her in private.
As long as you agree that my disagreement doesn't make me immature or not as good as you, no I don't have any problem with your disagreement.
You don't get it - and I don't think you can - because you haven't had sex. Your view on sex is something hypothetical. Your view on relationships is hypothetical. Your feelings about sexuality are based on never actually experiencing sex. This is why you do not see these jokes as immature and most of the rest of us do. I have never said that you are not as good as I am - but when it comes to relationships, you do lack maturity because you lack experience. This doesn't make me better than you - simply more experienced than you. Obviously - when you have a vast difference in levels of experience - you might have vastly different points of view. To me, these jokes are akin to the jokes that 6th graders would make because they have never seen boobies or a vagina.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa
And I hope you're aware that a medical professional touching a client with sexual intent (such as is the basic conceit behind the "hot gynecologist," "hey, did you get excited at the OB-GYN" variety of crass jokes) ABSOLUTELY would constitute sexual assault (not to mention medical malpractice).
Of course, unwelcome sexual touching is assault. But again, we're not talking about that. We're talking about a routine medical exam. No threatening medical conditions detected, no forced sexual intent on the part of the practitioner. I don't know why you are bringing up these hypothetical situations which seemingly bear no relevance.
In my experience, most military personnel, male and female, are able to joke in serious situations, yes. I have all kinds of funny stories like that. It doesn't make us immature. That's just human nature.
Some even have sex while deployed in dangerous situations such as combat. I guess you would say that's immature and not appropriate behavior, and technically the UCMJ would agree (in theory there is supposed to be "good order and military discipline" I believe is the wording), but in practice nobody cares as long as it is consensual and not occurring between officer and enlisted. Again, just human nature. Like Anna-Lucia said on Lost, "well, she's hot, you're hot. It's what people do."
Oh, trust me, both my husband and I are well aware of the immaturity and bad decisions of sailors...a massive part of his job description lies in overseeing disciplinary proceedings. He "gets to" watch people with little-to-no judgment screw up their careers and those of others depressingly often and assess what will then happen to them. Most of them DO evidence more common sense than you are currently showing, however.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neutrino78x
Really? So if you think your partner looks sexy while sitting in her chair in a college class, and you are both 40, would you choose not mention this because it is immature to feel that way and it is immature to tell her she looks sexy?
Obviously, you are right that once she tells him it hurts her, he should stop.
However, before she tells him that, he wouldn't necessarily know that hearing that is something that hurts her.
Again, a draw dropping WHAT? Who said anything about telling a partner she looks sexy? Since when has anyone considered a person telling their partner they look sexy immature? And how would we be 40 and both sitting in a college class together? I probably wouldn't say anything like that to anyone in a college class with other people sitting around.
Seriously, dude, what the hell are you thinking or talking about?
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Like Anna-Lucia said on Lost, "well, she's hot, you're hot. It's what people do."