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Personality is only a factor if you already establish that they are sufficiently hot. If you don't find them attractive the personality isn't relevant.
That is not true. It may reflect how some men feel but many women find a wonderful personality makes a man appear much more attractive. I have become attracted to men who are not my type at all simply based on a personality I found exciting.
The more you post the more I can see you have no clue how women think or feel.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Not true at all for some people.
Well, why are you in a relationship with them, if you do not find them sexually attractive?
I guess if someone has extremely low levels of estrogen and testosterone, and therefore they no longer feel sexual desire, then that individual would base everything on personality, but they also probably wouldn't be having sex or be in a romantic relationship. That's not maturity btw, that's just low hormone levels. Same thing that happens when people get older. They don't mature out of enjoying their sexuality, they just have lower hormone levels. But I think for normal human beings with a normal sex drive, they have to be sexually attracted to someone if they are expected to seek a relationship.
Like I said if you have two people who are equally hot, or if there is one person and you have determined they are hot, then of course it is a matter of personality.
But if even if you go with person Y because their personality is better than person X despite person Y not being as hot as person X, you still had to establish that each is sufficiently attractive before it even becomes a consideration. If neither person X nor person Y is sufficiently attractive, then their personalities don't matter. They would matter to someone else who finds them attractive.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna
The more you post the more I can see you have no clue how women think or feel.
I'm human and most humans I have met would not be interested in someone if they did not find them sexually attractive to any degree. There has to be SOME degree of that. It might be very small but it has to be there.
But if even if you go with person Y because their personality is better than person X despite person Y not being as hot as person X, you still had to establish that each is sufficiently attractive before it even becomes a consideration. If neither person X nor person Y is sufficiently attractive, then their personalities don't matter. They would matter to someone else who finds them attractive.
It's such a cliche, but are you on the autistic spectrum? Your inability to view anyone's perspective but your own and your need to beat a conversation to a pulp make me wonder.
What they're trying to say is that attraction isn't always physical or sexual, and attractive isn't the same as hot. That's a component for a complete relationship, but an attractive personality can actually make someone seem more physically attractive.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
Your inability to view anyone's perspective but your own
Don't confuse inability to view someone's perspective with simply not agreeing. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean they have some kind of mental disorder. How about we stop with the argumentum ad hominem fallacies?
Quote:
What they're trying to say is that attraction isn't always physical or sexual
And I disagree. Everyone feels those types of attraction, both male and female. But you get into those other forms of attraction once the person is sexually attractive. If they aren't sexually attractive to you that other stuff doesn't come into the picture. Others may not find them attractive, but the issue is, do you find them attractive. Someone can be very sexually attractive but have a personality which do you not find attractive and you can choose not to pursue them as a result, but the person you do pursue would still be sexually attractive to some degree. But I already said that.
Well, why are you in a relationship with them, if you do not find them sexually attractive?
Because it's not always about sexual attraction. You're thinking like a guy. Sex is just a function, you can do it with anyone. But a wonderful personality, strong brain power, and a background or interests in common is a difficult combination to find. When you find it, sparks can fly.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Because it's not always about sexual attraction. You're thinking like a guy. Sex is just a function, you can do it with anyone. But a wonderful personality, strong brain power, and a background or interests in common is a difficult combination to find. When you find it, sparks can fly.
No, I'm thinking like a human! Those other things are what you notice after you establish the sexual attraction. That's icing on the cake. But if you fundamentally feel no sexual attraction to them whatsoever then the other things don't matter. I obviously agree that once you find someone who is sexually attractive the other things are important. I've never felt love for someone based on just finding them sexually attractive...however, I also have never felt love for someone if I don't feel the sexual attraction.
Because it's not always about sexual attraction. You're thinking like a guy. Sex is just a function, you can do it with anyone. But a wonderful personality, strong brain power, and a background or interests in common is a difficult combination to find. When you find it, sparks can fly.
You could still have really terrible sex with a person who has those characteristics...Just saying. Maybe they would make a really great 'Friend with out benefits'?
No, I'm thinking like a human! Those other things are what you notice after you establish the sexual attraction. That's icing on the cake. But if you fundamentally feel no sexual attraction to them whatsoever then the other things don't matter.
IN YOUR EXPERIENCE. There are others who do not share your experience. This is what we're telling you. What's true for you isn't true for 100% of humanity. Please try to get your mind around that.
You could still have really terrible sex with a person who has those characteristics...Just saying. Maybe they would make a really great 'Friend with out benefits'?
This is where training comes in. Most men are eager students. Not all, but most.
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Those other things are what you notice after you establish the sexual attraction. That's icing on the cake. But if you fundamentally feel no sexual attraction to them whatsoever then the other things don't matter. I obviously agree that once you find someone who is sexually attractive the other things are important. I've never felt love for someone based on just finding them sexually attractive...however, I also have never felt love for someone if I don't feel the sexual attraction.
. Maybe they would make a really great 'Friend with out benefits'?
