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About a dozen if you count EVERY LITTLE THING, but I only had 4-5 actual boyfriends who I dated at least a few months. I started dating at 16 and married at 23 if that matters.
If you count one date wonders and such, I am probably around 100. I forced myself to date a lot after a bad break up from my high school boyfriend. I wanted to find out what I wanted in a mate as I no longer trusted myself to spot a good guy. It was the best thing I did dating wise. And I only sleep with guys if I am in a monogamous relationship.
Not many really at all. I was a bit of a waster in college and before that. It was only after college I really pulled myself together and turned myself into someone or something in any way desirable. And I met the girls I currently go out with shortly after that. So have not really had time to play any fields.
I'm curious what's the average number of people you have to meet before finding something permanent.
Everything from a coffee date that goes no where to a serious relationship counts.
I'm 31, I don't know the exact count, but I think I'm in the range of 70-80, and I still haven't found her yet!
I didn't count, too. But I remember having a hard time scheduling meets LOL! I even have a few dates that overlaps. LOL. Like LITERALLY, I was still talking to the guy at Portillo's and the other guy was calling he is at the other place waiting...
OMG. I also remember that happened with the very first time I met my husband, luckily we already said our good byes and I was already in my car when the other guy called.... yeah I'm bad...... at scheduling.
I am VERY glad I met my husband though.... I love him sooo much and I am VERY monogamous. So is he.
Well, I'm still searching for the one and I'm 34. I can't remember how many guys I've dated over the years, but I'll say that until recently, there's been a shortage of decent guys for me to date. Now that I'm on Tinder, I have more guys interested in meeting me than I even have time to meet. This is potentially a good thing.
I thought the guy I was in a LTR several years ago was the one, but we ended up parting ways. We're still really good friends, but we're not meant to be together.
I couldn't tell you how many people I've seen through out the years. I wasn't purposefully going through them to "find" anyone, I was just enjoying life
Truth be told, I have met many "ones" however it just happened to be that I was not "the one" for them and the relationships didn't go past there initial phases. any mutual romantic feelings petered out because of it
Last edited by rego00123; 03-31-2014 at 11:25 AM..
I'm curious what's the average number of people you have to meet before finding something permanent.
Everything from a coffee date that goes no where to a serious relationship counts.
I'm 31, I don't know the exact count, but I think I'm in the range of 70-80, and I still haven't found her yet!
That's all? Keep going.
Shoot, if you are including things like getting a cup of coffee, I estimate that I broke that number before I hit 27. And that's with LTRs of one year (high school), three and a half years (college sweetheart), two years (23-25), and one year thrown in (26-27). This is NOT to say I am some beauty queen. Just approachable. Had one more year-long relationship (29), then took a year off. Next person I dated after that, at 31, I married at 35.
Maybe you need to take some time off, too. It's easy to get caught up in dating, dating, dating, just because you can, but maybe you need to take some time to step back and just live for a while. I did that because I was tired of, well, dating! It also allowed me to focus on myself and set some serious criteria beyond "attractive, nice, polite, good conversationalist" for dating. Those are wonderful things to have, but they are also dime-a-dozen. I came to realize I needed a man who was brutally intelligent, from whom I could learn things, and that was my ex-husband.
Yes, ex. So much for "something permanent."
Which brings me to the next point: You might also want to consider that if you're dating that many people, maybe you're not cut out for "something permanent," either. Could be a tough pill to swallow, depending on if you want a family and kids. I never did, so serial monogamy is not that big a deal to me. (Just came out of a 7-year relationship, won't be dating again for at least a year. I am comfortable with my relationships having shelf-lives of 3-7 years. I just won't marry again.)
My advice: Take a year off. Travel. Spend time pursuing your interests, getting the most out of your career, and increasing your social circle. Then try again, but be pickier. You're a guy. You have plenty of time.
I never kept count, and do not need the trip back through the horrors of memory lane to figure it out.
I will say now that I am married to a wife I love very much, that hindsight shows me that "finding the one" was more about discovering and learning more about myself, then meeting tons of people. Once I better understood myself in all areas of my life, it made it FAR easier to meet and date women I had a much greater chance of clicking with.
I never kept count, and do not need the trip back through the horrors of memory lane to figure it out.
I will say now that I am married to a wife I love very much, that hindsight shows me that "finding the one" was more about discovering and learning more about myself, then meeting tons of people. Once I better understood myself in all areas of my life, it made it FAR easier to meet and date women I had a much greater chance of clicking with.
Yours is the first post to give me hope in this thread!
I think that's a good idea and what I am going to do more of. After having been married for 13 years and now single I lost a lot of myself. Maybe that's why dating is so hard for me. Now the question is, what to do to find myself again. I'll have to mull that one over.
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