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The question is way too broad; you should break it down by age ranges.
Ages 18-21 - I'd guess about 30% of guys have never had a GF
Ages 22-25 - about 10% or so
Ages 25+ - 5%, if that much.
The overwhelming majority of straight boys and men will have had at least one girlfriend during their high school or college years. Including the majority of the mildly shy, the video gamers, the folks obsessed with Tolkien lore, the dudebros, the stoners, the folks who have very demanding career paths, the religious, whatever.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
I don't know any adult male that has never had a relationship.
Yeah, I'm the only one I know of, among people I have met in real life. I agree with you, I think it is probably a small percentage. I just know it's really depressing.
I am 36 and I've never kissed anyone, seen a naked woman in real life, had sex or been in a relationship.
I found some marriage statistics from 2008 which show that only 16.9% of men under age 44 have never been married. We're just talking about a girlfriend here... so I would imagine of that 16.9%, a very small percentage of them have never had any girlfriend to speak of.
Most of the men I know are in their mid 30s to early 40s, and I'd say I know around 5 or so that I'm pretty sure they haven't had a girlfriend ever. Maybe another few who I'm not sure about, but they may have.
They are all pretty normal dudes too. But I know many, many guys, so overall it is a small percentage. But it still bothers me when people imply that is not normal.
I mean, most people don't know anybody who lives lives off 40K a year for a family of 6 either, but that doesn't mean those people don't exist and that they aren't real, decent people. You can also take this kind of judgement so far. You can say anybody who hadn't gotten laid before graduating high school or never went to their prom was a loser too.
I'm 50. I know and have known thousands of people throughout my life. I don't know of one single guy who has not had a girlfriend at some stage of his life. Heck, even my obese, miniature train-loving, socially idiotic second cousin managed to find himself a trailer trash wife.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JJS99
They are all pretty normal dudes too. But I know many, many guys, so overall it is a small percentage. But it still bothers me when people imply that is not normal.
I mean, most people don't know anybody who lives lives off 40K a year for a family of 6 either, but that doesn't mean those people don't exist and that they aren't real, decent people. You can also take this kind of judgement so far. You can say anybody who hadn't gotten laid before graduating high school or never went to their prom was a loser too.
Well, that makes me feel a little better, I guess.
It just makes me sad when time after time after time, when a girl I know in a platonic context finds out I like her, she feels uncomfortable. Why is that such a horrible thing to hear?
Now, if she doesn't feel the same way and just wants to be friends or whatever, that doesn't hurt as much, but saying she wants no more contact is really hurtful.
I think it is a significant minority of men. Most Americans know at least one Heterosexual guy who struggles to attract women. Rather it is a family member, a friend, or a co-worker.
Adult men who have never had a girlfriend ever in their entire lives, despite wanting one very much? Sounds like love-shyness...I have posted about this before and I know there are those who are skeptical about it, but as someone who was previously personally there, for people who haven't experienced it themselves, it can be kind of hard to understand in a concrete way.
There used to be an article on wikipedia about it, but I think that someone may have deleted it(?) In any event, in one of my previous posts/threads here. I quoted from the article when it was still viewable in the past, which I have also copied and re-pasted below:
Quote:
Love shyness is a phrase created by psychologistBrian G. Gilmartin to describe a specific type of severe chronicshyness. According to his definition, published in Shyness & Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatments (1987), love-shy people find it difficult if not impossible to be assertive in informal situations involving potential romantic...partners. For example, a heterosexual love-shy male will have trouble initiating conversations with women because of strong feelings of anxiety.
In his book, Gilmartin estimates that love-shyness afflicts approximately 1.5% of American males and will prevent about 1.7 million U.S. males from ever marrying[.]
Quote:
Gilmartin had seven criteria for each "love-shy man" he included in his study:
He is a virgin.
He rarely goes out socially with women more than just friends.
He has no history of any emotionally close, meaningful relationships of a romantic...nature with any member of the opposite sex.
He has suffered and is continuing to suffer emotionally because of a lack of meaningful female companionship.
He becomes extremely anxiety-ridden over so much as the mere thought of asserting himself vis-a-vis a woman in a casual, friendly way.
He is strictly heterosexual in his romantic and erotic orientations.
Quote:
Most of the love-shy men, but none of the non-shy men, reported never having any friends; not even acquaintances. The vast majority of love-shy men reported being bullied by children their own age due to their inhibitions and interests, while none of the non-shy men did, and love-shy men were less likely to fight back against bullies. Around half of the love-shy men reported being bullied or harassed as late as high school, while none of the non-shy men did. Even as adults, the love-shy men reported remaining friendless and abused by other people. This lack of acceptance by others caused the love-shy men to feel excessively lonely and depressed. However, this also caused the men not to want anything to do with same-sex individuals.
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There is one mitigating factor I guess, although I don't know how significant it is. The ones who felt uncomfortable were all people who found out about my feelings from someone other than me. In one case I told their friend who also had feelings for them (stupid action, very stupid, hindsight 20/20), in another I told their mom, in another I told my coworkers. So maybe I should just keep the feelings inside and not tell anyone unless I really intend to be in a relationship with them.
Lately when I've had feelings for someone I don't really want to actually be in a relationship because of my life situation which I've been stuck in for the past 10 years. I guess I keep getting in situations where I tell myself this person won't react the wrong way if I tell them, but they do. And it hurts when they do.
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Sounds like love-shyness...I have posted about this before and I know there are those who are skeptical about it, but as someone who was previously personally there, for people who haven't experienced it themselves, it can be kind of hard to understand in a concrete way.