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Someone who's loving and caring, fun to be with, cool and very kind, yet brave and trust worthy are out there somewhere's, I wish you ladies well, everyone deserves to have that someone who's proud to be with you and who's looking out and thinking of you always, loves you, honors you and protects you, and lives each day to always keep a smile on your face and loves you for all time, in this world and the next. I hope you all find that person each in your own loving way. Stay brave, Stay cool, Stay happy and Stay kind, and one day you'll both find each other. Keep the faith..
I just would like to add that for a lot of women a big issue is that they look for "Mr. Perfect" rather than "Mr. Right". One book I loved and have read many times and has opened my eyes is "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough" by Lori Gottlieb. You can find it on amazon, I highly recommend it.
That's not to say men don't have unrealistic expectations as well, but for every man that won't date a woman because she's "to fat" there is a woman that won't date a man because he's "to short". It's a problem both genders face and we all need more realistic expectations.
That's EXACTLY the problem, and the biggest issue in terms of dating nowadays.
Should be common sense that there is no Mr. Perfect out there, nor Mrs. Perfect for those males as well.
Me thinks you live in a dream world. Not only am I good with the ladies, But I also work with almost all women. Attractive women that aren't going out on dates are doing so by choice. Trust me on this one grasshopper.
We get conflicting opinions on that subject here. In one thread Hot girls are lonely because men are too intimidated to approach them, then in another thread they are bombarded by men constantly . Which one is it?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
I am no longer shy... I worked on myself and got out of my shell. But I am still an introvert. A lot of times introverts are shy, but they two aren't synonymous (not saying you said they are... just pointing it out because so many use the terms interchangeably).
I'm introverted but not shy. People exhaust me and I'm generally a loner and happy that way, still, dating needs to be a two way street. I'm sure there are plenty of great shy women out there (and men), but it isn't my responsibility to carry all the discussion, make all the moves, do everything... that isn't enjoyable, and dating is about having fun while making a connection.
I'm introverted but not shy. People exhaust me and I'm generally a loner and happy that way, still, dating needs to be a two way street. I'm sure there are plenty of great shy women out there (and men), but it isn't my responsibility to carry all the discussion, make all the moves, do everything... that isn't enjoyable, and dating is about having fun while making a connection.
Yeah, I am not like that . My big obstacle back when I was shy was I came across as cold and aloof. But like you, while I will put myself out there, I also like things to be a two-way street and not have to make all the moves, discussion, and whatnot because it's not enjoyable. Just like you say. And just like you say, I need my me time and alone time (otherwise I get really stressed and irritable)
I was sad to see the other thread was closed -- I think it's one of the best threads we've had in a long time. I'd appreciate it if people would play nice in this one.
We talk a lot in this forum about men who can't get dates, and why, and what to do about it. Let's have a thread that's just about the women!
Ladies, tell us here about your experiences. Is it hard to find dates? Have you decided to stop trying? Have you made a happy life for yourself without a partner? How is it going?
I am not a woman. I can't see any woman who has it hard in the dating pool. Most women can get a boyfriend with ease.
I did a study on this some time ago in school. I focused on a more exaggerated example in that study because it was hilarious, but I used more common ones as well. By the time you factored in availability, age range, height range (all very common "requirements"), most women were left with "about" 8% of men, and that's before some of the more strict (but nonetheless popular) requirements like education, salary, interests, etc.
The funny one in the initial example had literally narrowed her field down to .84 men in the entire world. Not .84%. .84. As in, of the 3.5 billion or whatever men on the planet, her compounded "requirements" list had mathematically eliminated all men on earth. Off the top of my head, it was a certain height, salary, hair color, ethnicity, a few skills (dancing, foreign language), love of cats, time to travel....I don't remember anything else.
So yeah, techrium made up some of those numbers, but they're not that far off. Replace the "video games" one with a more common requirement if you prefer. I'm at work right now and can dig up the study on my computer when I get home somewhere, but even the generously realistic expectatations eliminated most men, and a significantly higher portion of the expecations that the women met themselves.
8% sounds good to me. I would've guessed lower for myself, especially if you're including taken men.
I highly doubt men like a larger percent of women for a relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky4life
This is going to sound horrible, but as long as a woman is attractive she's not going to have trouble getting dates. An attractive woman could be living at home, unemployed, stupid,crazy, and be rocking an STD, yet still have no trouble dating. This of course is the result of shallow men putting up with almost anything to be with an attractive woman.
That sounds like "trouble" to me. I didn't interpret the OP to mean getting a date with just anyone. If that's the case, men can get dates easily too, with very undesirable women. I'm pretty sure craigslist facilitates that kind of thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PeaceAndLove42
I just would like to add that for a lot of women a big issue is that they look for "Mr. Perfect" rather than "Mr. Right". One book I loved and have read many times and has opened my eyes is "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough" by Lori Gottlieb. You can find it on amazon, I highly recommend it.
That's not to say men don't have unrealistic expectations as well, but for every man that won't date a woman because she's "to fat" there is a woman that won't date a man because he's "to short". It's a problem both genders face and we all need more realistic expectations.
Hm, I don't feel like a laundry list is the problem. It's whether you genuinely FEEL something or not. I don't understand resisting a natural response to someone because of some measurable criteria (do some women really do that? I thought that was a "man thing"). That works both ways too - a man can look good on paper & not inspire a feeling. Or he may be short with a receding hairline, but the dynamic is right. To me, there's no settling if the feeling is there.
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