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He said that he doesn't want to be in a relationship. He told you what he wanted.
Listen and act accordingly. If you don't like what he said, then change the way you respond to his overtures. It is really simple. The ball is in your court, you decide how YOU want to play.
Last edited by blondiel; 04-04-2014 at 03:02 PM..
Reason: mispelled word
I said the same. Her "terms" require no contact, no nothing. Just sex. That's not a FWB. That's a FB. I've had those too. FWB and FB are completely different for me.
Looks like Findly would be happy with either (relationship or just sex)...problem is the guy is saying he doesn't want a relationship but does boyfriend-ish stuff. He needs to clarify what he means by "no relationship". I think he means nothing super serious--no moving in, no marriage, no kids. If that's the case then he seems like a good fit for Findly because she doesn't want that either (not sure about the living together but I know she doesn't want marriage and kids). If he's looking for a really casual thing and wants to see other women then he needs to tell Findly that.
I agree, bella. My bad if I repeated what you've already surmised.
Since he goes to church, maybe he's the one put off by your approach to relationships? If you both like each other, just keep having fun. Give it a year. If things are still good tell him your biological clock is ticking and you'd like for him to father a child with you. (JK)
Or simply give it a year and see what he has to say.
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Giving him one year in HOPES OF him changing his mind is a waste of time IF she wants a serious relationship in future with him.
In one year, if she chooses to, she may find a guy who wants to be in relationships with her and adores her. but again, that's besides the topic since OP doesn't want a relationship.
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Giving him one year in HOPES OF him changing his mind is a waste of time.
In one year, if she chooses to, she may find a guy who wants to be in relationships with her and adores her. but again, that's besides the topic since OP doesn't want a relationship.
Per findly's posts, her relationships have a shelf life of around 2 years, so I'm not sure what the issue is. If she doesn't want to compromise, she should leave the guy to find someone who wants what he does.
Since he goes to church, maybe he's the one put off by your approach to relationships? If you both like each other, just keep having fun. Give it a year. If things are still good tell him your biological clock is ticking and you'd like for him to father a child with you. (JK)
Or simply give it a year and see what he has to say.
"Since he goes to church, maybe he's the one put off by your approach to relationships?"
He probably doesn't know how to respond to her because of his lack of experience. He could be attracted to her and wanting the sex but if he has never had a FWB or a relationship that wasn't long term this is probably all foreign to him. Add to that the religious aspect, the OP may be banging her head gainst a wall.
And asking to come with me to my parents house to meet them?
Still scratching my head about that one.
Did he actually ask to go to meet them specifically? It sounded like you were making a stop to pick something up and he just wanted to tag along. Two very different things.
I think it's strange that you asked him, didn't get the answer you were hoping for, didn't apply your own rules for an fb, and then just dropped it. Makes me wonder if you even know what you want.
We've been hanging out for about 4 weeks. Says he doesn't want to be in a relationship (no time frame on that statement), but he:
1.) Texts me every day and calls me every night
2.) We hang out once during the week and then normally Friday, Sat and sometimes Sunday
3.) Has asked me to go to church with him
4.) Has met my friends and I've met some of his
5.) Has met my parents (was swinging by my parents house to grab some stuff, asked if he could tag along)
6.) Never hesitates to ask me to hang out and has never turned down a request from me
[We are having sex]
Okay, fine. I can do the no titles thing, but isn't this essentially a relationship? So confused.
He's a good guy. Was home schooled and goes to church every Sunday. Completely different from me in that regard and has has very few sexual partners and relationships.
I am not broaching the title subject with him again, I'm just going to let it play out. But just wanted some opinions on what is going on here?
Whenever someone says in words something, one should listen.
In this situation, a guy says "I don't want to be in a relationship."
But you are hooking up. Therefore, he gets sex with no strings attached.
This one is simple. If you want no strings attached, then continue to hang out with him.
If you want a relationship and/or monogamy, then date someone else.
When a man says he wants to do the "no titles" thing, what he really means is, "I want you to be available to service me sexually, but I don't want to have to deal with you as an actual human being."
Asked him flat out if he was interested in a relationship.
Said no.
Gave him the FWB option in my terms.
Said no.
Then I dropped it.
If he wanted to go to church/meet friends then he wants to show you off, meanwhile tell you in private that you arent together.
You may think he is a good guy, but I would guess he is a serious player. A good guy wouldn't want to show you off at church and to friends while telling you in private, "no relationship"
This guy is trying to up his status by bringing you out. Your mere presence ups his value to his peers.
You can do way better than this guy. If the sex is that good, then by all means, have fun. But stop being this guys arm candy if it is 'just sex'. He doesnt want more, so dont be his trophy.
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Not sure if that's a good thing or a scary thing 
