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If he wanted to go to church/meet friends then he wants to show you off, meanwhile tell you in private that you arent together.
You may think he is a good guy, but I would guess he is a serious player. A good guy wouldn't want to show you off at church and to friends while telling you in private, "no relationship"
This guy is trying to up his status by bringing you out. Your mere presence ups his value to his peers.
You can do way better than this guy. If the sex is that good, then by all means, have fun. But stop being this guys arm candy if it is 'just sex'. He doesnt want more, so dont be his trophy.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,625,813 times
Reputation: 41324
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185
We've been hanging out for about 4 weeks. Says he doesn't want to be in a relationship (no time frame on that statement), but he:
1.) Texts me every day and calls me every night
2.) We hang out once during the week and then normally Friday, Sat and sometimes Sunday
3.) Has asked me to go to church with him
4.) Has met my friends and I've met some of his
5.) Has met my parents (was swinging by my parents house to grab some stuff, asked if he could tag along)
6.) Never hesitates to ask me to hang out and has never turned down a request from me
[We are having sex]
Okay, fine. I can do the no titles thing, but isn't this essentially a relationship? So confused.
He's a good guy. Was home schooled and goes to church every Sunday. Completely different from me in that regard and has has very few sexual partners and relationships.
I am not broaching the title subject with him again, I'm just going to let it play out. But just wanted some opinions on what is going on here?
If he does not want to be in a relationship, then he should stop acting like he is in one. Averageguy2006's post is the best explanation here IMO.
If he wanted to go to church/meet friends then he wants to show you off, meanwhile tell you in private that you aren't together.
You may think he is a good guy, but I would guess he is a serious player. A good guy wouldn't want to show you off at church and to friends while telling you in private, "no relationship"
This guy is trying to up his status by bringing you out. Your mere presence ups his value to his peers.
You can do way better than this guy. If the sex is that good, then by all means, have fun. But stop being this guys arm candy if it is 'just sex'. He doesn't want more, so don't be his trophy.
I have heard that a good way to meet guys is to go to church. However, there are no guarantees that you will find the type of guy you are looking for. The guy in the OP's post is a good example of the wrong kind of guy. He looks great on paper, but when you really think about his behavior, you realize what he is really like.
I would not want to be treated like this.
I am not an object.
That is how he is treating her.
You *general you* have to have enough self respect to say no to that and move on.
When a man says he doesn't want a relationship, believe him. Don't give your time, intimacy, and body to men who don't want to treat you the special way you deserve.
When a man says he doesn't want a relationship, believe him. Don't give your time, intimacy, and body to men who don't want to treat you the special way you deserve.
We've been hanging out for about 4 weeks. Says he doesn't want to be in a relationship (no time frame on that statement), but he:
1.) Texts me every day and calls me every night
2.) We hang out once during the week and then normally Friday, Sat and sometimes Sunday
3.) Has asked me to go to church with him
4.) Has met my friends and I've met some of his
5.) Has met my parents (was swinging by my parents house to grab some stuff, asked if he could tag along)
6.) Never hesitates to ask me to hang out and has never turned down a request from me
[We are having sex]
Okay, fine. I can do the no titles thing, but isn't this essentially a relationship? So confused.
He's a good guy. Was home schooled and goes to church every Sunday. Completely different from me in that regard and has has very few sexual partners and relationships.
I am not broaching the title subject with him again, I'm just going to let it play out. But just wanted some opinions on what is going on here?
Are you hoping that in time he'll change his mind?
Why would you do this to yourself? You enjoy heart ache?
Perhaps part of it is that once you label it as a relationship now the clock starts ticking when she will start pressuring marriage which is a whole different animal with all kinds of nasty legal entanglements. Then her clock starts ticking and she pressures a baby. Its the basic script of life if you want to get laid, other than for a very minority of women that every guy on the face of the planet is looking for.
The govt has destroyed the family through family law reform, it used to be that getting married and having kids was a great deal for a guy (like back in the 40's and maybe 50's). Not so anymore. All it takes now is a slightly unhappy woman listening to the diatribes from her "girl friends" and his life is over unless he is willing to go to really dramatic steps to get himself out of the USA. That's what its become ladies, live with it, this is what you wanted.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,055,818 times
Reputation: 2157
I think we are getting hung up on labels, here.
If you are having sex with someone, and are meeting each others parents, and spending much time together, and feel close, that is in fact a relationship. You are in fact together.
That one party would prefer not to formalize it doesn't make you somehow not in a relationship. You are still in one, unless you break up.
I think the real issue here is that OP's goal is to get married and have children. Many who don't want children are not interested in marriage, either.
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