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Old 04-10-2014, 04:18 PM
 
Location: H-Tine, Texas
6,732 posts, read 5,173,023 times
Reputation: 8539

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Actually, it's because a number of us HAVE had communications issues or gotten divorced that we see the value of discussion in real time, where we can hear inflection, and reactions and responses are more likely to be genuine and heartfelt than a contrivance resulting from careful editing. Besides, I like a man who can think on his feet.

Remember, we're not the ones who can't communicate the way you do. We can. We just don't want to. On the other hand, way too many young people don't know how to communicate the way we do. It's pretty sad when there are TED talks about people whose goals include "having a real conversation with someone someday."

Technology is wonderful, but if you use it to the extent that you can't express yourself without the opportunity to backspace, you've crippled yourself.
Fair enough.

And as to your second paragraph - I am fully capable of having face-to-face or telephone conversations with anyone, however I chose not to as my preference. I'd rather text, and if I'm forced to talk, I'd rather it be over Skype or FaceTime. When I start 'talking' to someone, I mostly text, and then occasionally, or even rarely converse over the phone or FT.

I'm not sure how any 20-something who has a half-way decent job these days can't communicate effectively. Any legit, big-boy job I've interviewed for required a phone interview - which I've always passed and made it to the final rounds of interviews. I'm pretty sure if I can communicate with a complete stranger who is going off some bullet points on a resume, at least enough to be offered or strongly considered for a job, I can handle having a conversation with someone I'm dating - someone I actually know.

Unless you're talking about young people who aren't even capable of having a conversation with a teacher or a interviewer, then you have a point. However, I don't think you are.

My social circle uses a texting app called "Group Me" - it makes things so much easier when trying to iron out plans for whatever - going out on a Friday, to piquing interest in a new movie release to signing up for a sports league.

They're going out of town this weekend on a trip, and it was all organized via the Group Me thread, aka only texting. Instead of having to call 22 people and fill them in on the details, ask them if they want to go, iron out the sleeping arrangements, etc, the organizer just sent out a text with the details in the thread and their trip was planned. I can't imagine how anyone could argue calling 20-something people to ask the same questions over again is somehow more effective than a text thread like I just mentioned.

I don't care for either really, but texting is the lesser of the two evils for me. It's unlimited (most people my age have unlimited texting) and it's all-around easier to do. And if a woman isn't interested in me because of that, then lol, 'Bye'. Talk on the phone only when absolutely necessary, otherwise, let's text.
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Old 04-10-2014, 06:34 PM
 
Location: Western Oregon
1,379 posts, read 1,546,576 times
Reputation: 1278
Quote:
Originally Posted by ATG5 View Post
It was as insightful as people from previous generations trying to me how I should behave when it comes to dating and technology. Telling people my age how our ways of texting to make plans or to engage is conversation or whatever is wrong and that the majority of our engagement should be actual conversation over the telephone. This is the only way to have a successful line of communication in healthy, functional relationship - as if their (old) ways are somehow church. I'm astounded at the number of 40+ year olds year who've never been divorced or never had communication issues with a SO.
That's better than a post that just puts down "old" people in general.
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Old 04-10-2014, 07:07 PM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,200,884 times
Reputation: 29088
Quote:
Originally Posted by ATG5 View Post
Fair enough.

And as to your second paragraph - I am fully capable of having face-to-face or telephone conversations with anyone, however I chose not to as my preference. I'd rather text, and if I'm forced to talk, I'd rather it be over Skype or FaceTime. When I start 'talking' to someone, I mostly text, and then occasionally, or even rarely converse over the phone or FT.

I'm not sure how any 20-something who has a half-way decent job these days can't communicate effectively. Any legit, big-boy job I've interviewed for required a phone interview - which I've always passed and made it to the final rounds of interviews. I'm pretty sure if I can communicate with a complete stranger who is going off some bullet points on a resume, at least enough to be offered or strongly considered for a job, I can handle having a conversation with someone I'm dating - someone I actually know.

Unless you're talking about young people who aren't even capable of having a conversation with a teacher or a interviewer, then you have a point. However, I don't think you are.

My social circle uses a texting app called "Group Me" - it makes things so much easier when trying to iron out plans for whatever - going out on a Friday, to piquing interest in a new movie release to signing up for a sports league.

They're going out of town this weekend on a trip, and it was all organized via the Group Me thread, aka only texting. Instead of having to call 22 people and fill them in on the details, ask them if they want to go, iron out the sleeping arrangements, etc, the organizer just sent out a text with the details in the thread and their trip was planned. I can't imagine how anyone could argue calling 20-something people to ask the same questions over again is somehow more effective than a text thread like I just mentioned.

I don't care for either really, but texting is the lesser of the two evils for me. It's unlimited (most people my age have unlimited texting) and it's all-around easier to do. And if a woman isn't interested in me because of that, then lol, 'Bye'. Talk on the phone only when absolutely necessary, otherwise, let's text.
Actually, yes, I was. I didn't want to go off-topic, but as I was writing my post, I took out a paragraph about having worked with a number of people in their early 20s who had no concept of how to conduct themselves in a face-to-face discussion in an office. Their email communications left a lot to be desired, as well, as some of them used text-speak in office communications.

I'm not painting all Millennials as inept at communication, but I've run into more of them than I have of Gen-Xers and Boomers, by far. Besides, look at who most of the communications questions on this forum come from. Look at who posts threads asking what this text means or what it means when someone didn't text back within a certain timeframe. It's not Gen-Xers and Boomers asking those questions, even though most of us know how and do text. We just keep it in its place. It's not the venue through which to conduct meaningful conversation. It's for one-way, need-to-know information.

But don't take my word for it. Take it from people who make a living coaching people on dating, like Steve Ward.

Texting, Tweeting, and TMI: 5 Tips for Successfully Communicating While Dating | Tips on Life and Love
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Old 04-10-2014, 07:22 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 59,016,245 times
Reputation: 9451
And I refuse to have a skype conversation in my apartment. Something else that has replaced natural conversation
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Old 04-10-2014, 08:42 PM
 
Location: H-Tine, Texas
6,732 posts, read 5,173,023 times
Reputation: 8539
Quote:
Originally Posted by WoodstockSchool1980 View Post
That's better than a post that just puts down "old" people in general.
Kinda like how they just flat out tell people my age that 'our way' isn't the way it should be done.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Actually, yes, I was. I didn't want to go off-topic, but as I was writing my post, I took out a paragraph about having worked with a number of people in their early 20s who had no concept of how to conduct themselves in a face-to-face discussion in an office. Their email communications left a lot to be desired, as well, as some of them used text-speak in office communications.

I'm not painting all Millennials as inept at communication, but I've run into more of them than I have of Gen-Xers and Boomers, by far. Besides, look at who most of the communications questions on this forum come from. Look at who posts threads asking what this text means or what it means when someone didn't text back within a certain timeframe. It's not Gen-Xers and Boomers asking those questions, even though most of us know how and do text. We just keep it in its place. It's not the venue through which to conduct meaningful conversation. It's for one-way, need-to-know information.

But don't take my word for it. Take it from people who make a living coaching people on dating, like Steve Ward.

Texting, Tweeting, and TMI: 5 Tips for Successfully Communicating While Dating | Tips on Life and Love
I take what anyone on this board posts with a grain of salt.

My experience in the real world hasn't been such, if anything it's the older employees/bosses who are not up to date with the latest programs, procedures, technology, etc.

And that's fine - I don't need tips from anyone, that aspect of my life is swell. If older people or even people in my age group prefer to communicate in their social/relational life a different way than me, then that's fine. No way is bible - that's the point I'm trying to make. As I said, which is more efficient when trying to plan things with a larger number of people or in the feeling out process of dating, etc? If said person is more comfortable with texting or just doesn't like phone conversations, it says nothing about her personal or professional life. I refuse to talk on the phone 99.9% of the time and I seem to be doing just fine in my personal professional life.

It works for me, and I'm not going to change it for anyone, nor am I interested in changing my ways based on other opinions or 'tips' regarding the issue.
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Old 04-10-2014, 08:48 PM
 
Location: Western Oregon
1,379 posts, read 1,546,576 times
Reputation: 1278
Quote:
Originally Posted by ATG5 View Post
Kinda like how they just flat out tell people my age that 'our way' isn't the way it should be done.
.
Well all those "theys" are not the same. If you're going to treat everyone above a certain age as if they are all such and such, you have no clue. We aren't all the same, It seems a little clog has gotten in the way of your brain. You don't deserve my respect if you just don't give a damn what I say. You deserve every disrespect you get. What the hell. I'm 51 and I never said all younger people are stupid or whatever. You're a jerk.
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Old 04-10-2014, 08:50 PM
 
527 posts, read 600,388 times
Reputation: 698
Quote:
Originally Posted by techcrium View Post
I wouldn't say it ruined it but it has changed it.

You have to adapt.
This. I found it a little challenging at first, but adapted fairly quickly. I'm sure people found it similarly challenging adapting to the telephone, or writing letters, or even spoken language when those things were created. Now that it's the norm, I can't imagine communicating without it.
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Old 04-10-2014, 09:01 PM
 
Location: H-Tine, Texas
6,732 posts, read 5,173,023 times
Reputation: 8539
Quote:
Originally Posted by WoodstockSchool1980 View Post
Well all those "theys" are not the same. If you're going to treat everyone above a certain age as if they are all such and such, you have no clue. We aren't all the same, It seems a little clog has gotten in the way of your brain. You don't deserve my respect if you just don't give a damn what I say. You deserve every disrespect you get. What the hell. I'm 51 and I never said all younger people are stupid or whatever. You're a jerk.
You clearly missed the point of that first post.

And oh golly, my feelings are hurt. How will I ever carry in with my life.
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Old 04-10-2014, 09:17 PM
 
Location: Western Oregon
1,379 posts, read 1,546,576 times
Reputation: 1278
Quote:
Originally Posted by ATG5 View Post
You clearly missed the point of that first post.

And oh golly, my feelings are hurt. How will I ever carry in with my life.
I didn't expect you would care what I said. I wasn't trying to get you to care. Obviously you don't. I was just pointing out that you are an ass. That's all. Laugh all you want.
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Old 04-12-2014, 08:56 AM
 
683 posts, read 853,311 times
Reputation: 767
Quote:
Originally Posted by FBJ View Post
And I refuse to have a skype conversation in my apartment. Something else that has replaced natural conversation
I actually like skype. Now I'm talking about video chat. Of course I won't do it if it's somebody I can just pick up and go see. I'm talking about friends and family in different states that may not be able to go see on a regular basis. This is actually a great invention. Even though believe it or not it's been around for over 25 years.
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