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I would appreciate your opinion and advice. I am "older" (60's), divorced and want to start dating again (Boston area). I am a normal, good-looking red-blooded male and want to find a complete, committed, faithful relationship, not a hookup. I look, act, feel and think considerably younger than my physical age.
The online profiles show a curious trend. A few women say things like "take care of you", "assistance", "good time" or "a little low on funds". At other times, either their login names ("fun4u", etc.) or other things sound a bit mercenary. These women seem suspiciously like amateur ho*kers.
I could ignore them completely. However, they are attractive and their profiles sound reasonable. There are probably many "casual" pro's on dating sites. How do you avoid them??
I don't want to jinx a possible relationship immediately or insult someone by gently asking if they are a pro. How do I handle this?? (I have never used a pro and don't want one now!!)
I suppose we should just meet over coffee after several E-mails or phone calls. But I don't even want to waste time if she is not what she seems. Sure, we can exchange E-mails and then the whammy, "my fee is...." No thanks.
Also, I realize that some pro relationships might eventually turn into the real thing, like "Pretty Woman". I'm guessing that some amateurs are doing it out of boredom or they need the cash and they might instantly stop if they found a really good guy.
I am certainly willing to pay for most dates plus a little more, whatever. And if I had a committed faithful relationship with someone, eventually I might help her with finances, even if not married. If we eventually shack up, even more. But I am not a sugar daddy. I'm in for mutual love.
(Hmmm - Now that I think of it, long ago I once had an out-of-work girlfriend living with me and I paid for everything. But we were genuinely in love. It never occurred to me to charge her half the room and board. Okay, there were delicious mutual "benefits" and she was a phenomenal cook. I tried to be an excellent partner. Jeez, I miss her!!)
They don't want to waste their time on a non-paying customer, either. So don't worry about it.
Look for profiles where the women talk about their jobs, or, if they are retired, about hobbies that indicate they are not broke.
And remember, every man over 35 thinks he looks and acts younger than his age. You don't. Focus on women of your generation, if you want to avoid being made a fool of.
They don't want to waste their time on a non-paying customer, either. So don't worry about it.
Look for profiles where the women talk about their jobs, or, if they are retired, about hobbies that indicate they are not broke.
And remember, every man over 35 thinks he looks and acts younger than his age. You don't. Focus on women of your generation, if you want to avoid being made a fool of.
^^ I disagree with your post. Some of us do in fact look and act much younger than we are. I also prefer younger women. ( I'm dating one now that is 10 yrs younger . Who thought I was her age )
OP , My advice is be very careful. If they sound too good to be true , be even more careful. Don't wait too long for meeting in person, but talk enough to get a feel for the type of person they really are.
Also , my experience has been the free sites have more trashy women and the ones you pay have more higher quality people.
I meet a "pro" one time at this hotel bar I go. I went up to the bar and tried to talk to her and she told me she was "working". I got hint and moved on.
How young are the women you are wanting to have a relationship with?
From your post - it sounds like you ARE looking for a sugar daddy relationship but just one that leads to love. You seem to have figured out which profiles are looking for a sugar daddy relationship but it sounds like you are looking for permission to go ahead and see what happens with them. And that's totally fine. Just be honest with yourself and what you are looking for. You are in your 60's. If you are primarily looking at women in their 20's and 30's - they are probably not looking at you for a love match.
And remember, every man over 35 thinks he looks and acts younger than his age. You don't. Focus on women of your generation, if you want to avoid being made a fool of.
The only people that are going to not agree with this statement, are the ones that, too, think they look and act young enough to not have to date within an acceptable age-range either.
To the OP: There are a few advertisements for a website called OurTime. It is specifically for the elderly that are still single, or single again, or what not. Maybe you can try that? It seems that it is catering to actual relationships of substance - not the junk that the younger generation has stooped to.
My dad is 73 years old and girls in their 20 and 30s still hit on him. My dad is pretty good looking for his age but he is not delusional enough to believe these young women are going after his "looks" (thinking about this makes me want to laugh.)
My dad is still madly in love with my mom, and my mom is only 6 years younger than my dad. Maybe I am just a prude, but I am certainly not trying to be offensive.
In order to avoid the women you want to avoid, start searching for women in your own age group, read their profile instead of focusing on their photos.
My aunt found her new husband on match.com She is 40 something at the time and is also a stage four cancer survivor. Of course she didn't receive hundreds of responses a day, but the guys who responded to her ad are exceptionally great catches. They know what they want.
My aunt has never written to young hot things on dating site, there is a reason for that.
They don't want to waste their time on a non-paying customer, either. So don't worry about it.
Look for profiles where the women talk about their jobs, or, if they are retired, about hobbies that indicate they are not broke.
And remember, every man over 35 thinks he looks and acts younger than his age. You don't. Focus on women of your generation, if you want to avoid being made a fool of.
Agree. Look for someone who has some "substance" in their profile, information that is intended to find common interests. Also, if you are interested in something long term or serious, state that in your profile. If you are interested in a woman's profile and she doesn't explicitly state what she's looking for, just ask.
As for the younger comments...I agree with Nila. Based on what I read on this board, everyone looks like they are younger than they really are except for me and a handful of others. OK. LOL
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Sixy*
As for the younger comments...I agree with Nila. Based on what I read on this board, everyone looks like they are younger than they really are except for me and a handful of others. OK. LOL
I see this in women's profiles all the time. They say at the end, "I'm really 55, but I look, feel and act much younger so I put 45 down for the age as I wasn't attracting the type of men I'm looking for" (or 45 and 35, etc)
Total turn off.
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