America's Dating Scene is Quite Similar to that of China (male, young)
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Reality is much more complex than you're making it out to be. The reality is that a lot of guys are shy or feel defeated, so they don't approach at all. (Myth Bust #1: "Men do the approaching".)
Reality also is that although some women believe the guy should do the approaching, there are a variety of types of women out there, some who a) approach shy guys, knowing the guys won't approach them, others who b) approach popular guys or hot guys, and women who c) are outgoing and casually friendly, who talk to guys/strangers almost daily, as jillabean described. Category (c) some men wouldn't recognize as an approach, but others here do acknowledge that it definitely qualifies as approaching. (Myth Bust #2: "Women don't approach.") Women do go after what they want. If the guy they want isn't approaching, women will approach. Seen it all my life.
I think there's a lot you're missing to the mating process. Quite a bit seems to occur below your radar.
Lets play a quick game. How many guys have approached you this year alone? Then I will tell you how many women have approached me.
The dating scene is a nightmare for men in the United States, and it's actually quite similar to that of China because single men outnumber single women by a lot; I'm 23 and never even went on a date, and I have a feeling that no matter how hard I try, I'll be single my entire life (and friendless because people in America usually put their friends last, not to mention some making friends unimportant) because single women are scarce, even in colleges where women outnumber men (a lot of them are dating non-students, especially men in their 30s and 40s). Hence, the dating scenes of China and America are alike because of the growing problem of too many men; the only difference is the US doesn't have a one-child policy and doesn't abort baby girls.
Also women are super picky, both here in the States and China, thanks in part to the skewed sex ratio.
And in the US, the saying "nice guys finish last" does in fact apply.
So I've come to conclusion that unless I move abroad, I will never find a girlfriend.
You need to stop being so negative.
Honestly, you have a leg up just by being in college. You're surrounded by young attractive women that aren't all married already. Try dating when you work with all men, and you don't have an education (something that will become a big deal with the ladies in a few years when they discover that life isn't free). You're problem is that you're either socially awkward or you're not attractive. In the long term, neither one of these things will prevent you from dating if you make wise career choices. In the short term, Start working out and being more social. Make a conscious effort to engage in activities that involve alcohol. You need to build some confidence. Even a few late night exhibitions with a big girl will will work wonders for a guys demeanor. You need a slump-buster kid.
0 women have approached me. I have had to do all the approaching. I find that really hard to believe. You must walk around in a burka lol.Like I told Jillabean If we were in the same city I guarantee tons of guys approaching you.
0 women have approached me. I have had to do all the approaching. I find that really hard to believe. You must walk around in a burka lol.Like I told Jillabean If we were in the same city I guarantee tons of guys approaching you.
How would your presence cause men to approach me (or her)? I don't know what that means.
I've had one man approach me this year. But it wasn't even in my own city. I was out West visiting the guy I was long distance dating at the time. We were at the beach watching the water for surf conditions and this guy walks up to me and the man I am dating and said hello to my date and then started talking to me. Then the man I am dating just walked away leaving me with this other guy. It was damn awkward and all I could think was, "why are you leaving me with this other guy?!" It took a friend of his walking up and saying hello to peel him away. Turns out the man I was dating walked away because he knew the other guy was a jerk and didn't like him. Gee, thanks for abandoning me.
I really don't think many people approach many other people. Men or women. At least, not where I live and work. Then again, I live in a neighborhood with a lot of married couples (I don't expect or want anyone to approach me here!). And where I work it's mainly lawyers and other "suits" or tourists. I work in a casual office, so I am dressed usually in jeans and such. The suits are all so serious all the time (or so it would seem) and the tourists must think I look friendly because I get approached... but asked for directions or how to use the mass transit . But I will talk to people when I can. In lines, in the elevator, waiting for the light to change to "walk," etc. I find that most men, once you break the ice, are really friendly and nice (even the suits, lol).
I'm not Chinese, but I'm from a culture that values similar things.
Asian women would prefer things like education and money.
American women place higher value on men who are exciting and get their engines running, in whatever way, and are 'their type'.
Both would value looks a lot, but Asian would I'd say would be more willing to put that aside if the guy was 'good on paper'.
I can agree with this.
American women value that initial "click." I've noticed this more with white women than other races. Black women will sometimes turn you down just to see if you have the cajones to try again. Most of my white female friends won't take a second look at a guy if it doesn't happen on first impact. I'm not sure if they're have a knack for knowing what they DON"T want, or if they overvalue instant connections.
Male/Female Total Population 1.06/1 So there is a very slight imbalance but nothing like the OP is making it out to be.
And I heard they're allowing 2 kids now. And minority nationalities have always been exempt from the 1 child restriction, so the higher numbers of kids among them help balance out the imbalance among the Han Chinese.
Lets play a quick game. How many guys have approached you this year alone? Then I will tell you how many women have approached me.
None. I have approached one.
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