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Thank you for believing me yes I listen to them this is why I strated reading articles online today and registered on this forum I was asking for help. I still don't know what to do this is really really bad news that I have to leave him . I'm so sad. He will come home in a few and see me crying and I don't know what to tell him. Ohh I never knew I would be in such situation I never thought bad of him and now everything looks so bad to me, my life is ruined and all of a sudden I feel scared. iI can't think about it anymore I get a headache
I wouldn't make any sudden moves right now, while you're still sort-of in shock. You don't seem to be in immediate danger, just possible future danger. Take your time and decide what you're going to do, get your loved-ones to help you, and figure out how to disengage in the safest way possible.
Think of it like you're in a small room with a poisonous snake. Take deep breaths, figure out where the door is, and slowly, slowly move toward it. Anything abrupt may make him strike. Just try to behave normally.
And before he gets home, delete this site from your browser history. If he sees it, he'll easily figure out who you are.
If it hasn't already happened, you will soon notice that friends are keeping a distance, and eventually will stop all contact. They will question your judgement. You will be judged by the company you keep. Your dangerous friend will not tell you to sever relationships with friends, but will instead interfere with those relationships until you are isolated. After you are socially isolated, you will see a different side of this dangerous man.
Totally agree with this! I've seen it happen myself.
The guy who's an obvious potential abuser will actively isolate his girlfriend from her friends and family, but the sociopath will quietly arrange for it to happen "naturally" so you have no one but him to lean on. Then he has almost complete control.
OP - you haven't mentioned anything about his family or friends visiting. Please tell us about how he interacts with them.
And that thing about him going out on a regular basis between 3AM-4AM and just saying he was 'out' when you ask where he was. I'd leave him just for that even without all the other red flags.
Do you live with him?
Yes we're dating for 5 months and living together for almost a month now. Why didn't I pay attention at first because I thought he might go out to smoke because he doesn't smoke when he's at home he goes out. But then an hour is too much this is why I thought it was weird at first.
His family doesn't visit he only has mother and hardly ever communicates with her, but he helps her with money and only visits her then. He still can't forgive her for how she was acting to him when he was a kid.
He has friends and I know some of them and one of them became my friend too.
I wouldn't make any sudden moves right now, while you're still sort-of in shock. You don't seem to be in immediate danger, just possible future danger. Take your time and decide what you're going to do, get your loved-ones to help you, and figure out how to disengage in the safest way possible.
Think of it like you're in a small room with a poisonous snake. Take deep breaths, figure out where the door is, and slowly, slowly move toward it. Anything abrupt may make him strike. Just try to behave normally.
And before he gets home, delete this site from your browser history. If he sees it, he'll easily figure out who you are.
Oh thank for your advice you're a really good person Tracy, and thanks for reminding me to delete history cause I'd totally forget to do that
Totally agree with this! I've seen it happen myself.
The guy who's an obvious potential abuser will actively isolate his girlfriend from her friends and family, but the sociopath will quietly arrange for it to happen "naturally" so you have no one but him to lean on. Then he has almost complete control.
I can't believe this can be him. Of course I know you know what you're talking about but I mean there have been guys who would really try to isolate me from anyone and then I met this guy and I thought how lucky I was because he didn't say a word against when I told him I'd go out with friends or meet that college mate. But now I started thinking all this things through and it seems so true but I don't want to believe. I can't calm down even
What do you think of his mother? Does she seem like a terrible person? When you met her, what did she do that caused you to believe that there's something wrong with her?
Apart from his claim that he helps his mother financially, do you know that this is true?
I agree with poster above. can u share a little more about him?
How old is he? Does he have a stable job? How long has been at his current job? Do you know any of his past girl friends and why relationships ended? How is he with his family? Any cool hobbies?
He's 26, he does have a job I don't know whether I should tell what kinda job he has. At his current job he's been since he's 20 I believe. No I don't know any of them personally but he told me they all were not that he wanted and that they were posessive and overwhelming. He also said he had very few serious relationships and only once he has really had strong feelings for the girl when he was at my age. Then he tried to make up something with other girls but they all were not that he wanted.
If you can call a car hobby then he has it. He likes traveling anywhere far in a car. We even traveled together a few times...
WHY DOES NOBODY BELIEVE ME? I COme and speak out to you and all you guys do is abuse me. Why did you open this thread if you only wanted to abuse me. It's not cool. Think of what you're doing you might hurt someone with your words.
I actually gave you a post with advice (in the event that you are legit) and it obviously went right past you.
What do you think of his mother? Does she seem like a terrible person? When you met her, what did she do that caused you to believe that there's something wrong with her?
Apart from his claim that he helps his mother financially, do you know that this is true?
She didn't do anything psychotic while I was there but the way she looked made me think she was crazy. She's pretty old and wearing too much makeup even for a young girl and wearing some party clothes that I don't wear myself at 19.
I seen him give her money once and then the other day she was calling him begging for more money because she wanted to buy something for the kitchen.
I actually gave you a post with advice (in the event that you are legit) and it obviously went right past you.
You said you posted in this thread only because you wanted to warn others but not because you believed me.... and that my story sounds not real
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