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Location: where you sip the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica
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As far as I can determine, people used to marry at around menarche time for the girls (which varied from 13-18yo, depending on nutritional factors), so that she wouldn't get into trouble and shame the family, maybe even get stoned to death. Guys got married when they had mastered a profession enough to provide a living, usually around 16 or older.
Nowadays, I think marriage is something that should be mainly done to raise children. Otherwise, why not just stay together until you feel like ending it? From this viewpoint, one should only get married if the guy has actually impregnated the girl ..... so sex before marriage would be almost mandatory if one is reasonable.
The issue isn't even the length of time. The issue is, why would anyone get married before they found out if they and their spouse were sexually compatible? It is just crazy...
I have to agree that you should find out of your sexually compatible first.
Who would wait that long for sex is what I meant. As for getting married 30 is definitely a long to wait to get married. 27 I don't know..........
ME! LOL. I was a 40 yr old virgin when I married. But hey my life really rocks at 40. The saying life begins at 40 is true for me. Although I started dating at 38. So 2 yrs of experience as a serial dater was fun.
I was raised a Catholic so maybe that was part of the reason why I remained a virgin. Although me and husband were intimate before we got married. At that age, I was just glad I wouldn't die a virgin, LOL. Because we kind of broken up after we got intimate. My husband was just ok with me spending weekends at his house and I wasn't ok with it. So I just told him what I want - marriage or we live together.
When I had sex before marriage, I was already 40 so I definitely am mature and sensible enough to know what I was doing. More than anything, I was just glad I wouldn't die a virgin. So when he broke up with me, I was sad honestly, but I was not mad at him or myself. I was just blah about it.
He married me though so would have I turn to hermit if he disappeared completely? Who knows.
As far as I can determine, people used to marry at around menarche time for the girls (which varied from 13-18yo, depending on nutritional factors), so that she wouldn't get into trouble and shame the family, maybe even get stoned to death. Guys got married when they had mastered a profession enough to provide a living, usually around 16 or older.
History has had a variance here.
But a general trend is that adolescence is being extended.
Sure, lifespan is a big longer, but not THAT much so (what lowered average lifespan in past eras was high rates of infant mortality). Yet, the age in which a person is considered emotionally mature seems to be rising.
While we consider 18 yr olds to be legal adults, we expect adolescent behavior well into the 20s. 30 is the "new adult" age.
Is this better reflective of natural human emotional development or is it development in relation to environmental demands and expectations?
In other words, could emotional development prolonged past sexual development because of nurture? The physical maturation hasn't changed much. It's still around 20 that it finishes (ie. women take about 5 years from the start of menstruation to finish developing).
Brain plasticity suggests the length of developmental phases emotionally and mentally may not be set in stone. Perhaps 30 is the new 18 because we have made it so. Maybe it's a de-syncing of the physical and emotional development that is making certain moral concepts seem unnatural...?
From way I've read alot of people wait a long time to get married like 27 or 30 maybe even later! Who's gonna wait that long?
I accidentally selected the "It's wrong" option in the poll (lol), but I don't feel that way. I'm not religious and I think people should just do what's right for them whether it's waiting or not waiting.
If anyone takes the Bible seriously, they might consider what God thinks about it. After all, He is the ultimate judge. Here's what the Bible says:
1Co 6:9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders
1Co 6:10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
Incest, polygamy, and concubines are okay, though.
Incest, polygamy, and concubines are okay, though.
I'm not religious but I have morals. How terrible those things are terrible!
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But hey my life really rocks at 40. The saying life begins at 40 is true for me. Although I started dating at 38. So 2 yrs of experience as a serial dater was fun.