Why Are Girls Attracted To Bad Boys? (boyfriend, family, children)
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People I grew up with will tell you that I'm attracted to bad boys, but they haven't really been TYPICAL bad boys. I've never been physically abused or cheated on or lied to in any truly significant way. My one ex (the one I had the longest relationship with) is in many ways NOT a good person, but he treated me well at a time in my life when I needed someone to really pay attention to what was going on in my life. I was in a terrible spiral that could have ended very badly.
A friend has been in a long term relationship with a guy she describes as a "bad boy" for decades. He's immature, hot-tempered, selfish, entitled, deceitful, etc. He has cheated on her, threatened to leave her while she was pregnant, deceived her about the family finances (even though she is the main breadwinner) etc. He's quick to get in a fight, rarely keeps his promises, and is often rude and socially inappropriate. He's also always been scared of my boyfriends though, and THEY have never given him two seconds of thought except to wonder why my friend is with him. So when people say I date "bad boys" I have to laugh.
What I'm really attracted to is iconoclasts - people who do their own thing. I never really fit in anywhere when I was a kid due to my IQ, my learning disability, my working-class extended family vs. my middle-class parents, my private school where I was outperforming kids from far wealthier and more educated families, etc. All I could do was concentrate on being myself, and I've always been suspicious of people who DO fit in too easily. Almost every guy I've dated has been a "self-made" man. For all my issues as a kid, I had a lot of opportunities handed to me, so I tend to respect people who have had to make their own opportunities.
Yeah, they might be a little rowdy and some of them may have gotten into some trouble at one time in their life, but the guys I have dated are NOTHING like the guy my friend has chosen to make her life with, hoping all the while that one day he'll turn into the man she really wants.
What does SHE like about her man? I guess she likes the excitement, the passion of their arguments, the highs and lows of the drama, the fact that nothing is the same day to day and perhaps the fact that he is well aware that he will never in a million years be able to find someone who is a step up from her, because she is pretty far above him. What I have noted about their relationship, in particular, which I think is actually very important to them both is that they both have matching levels of charisma. The two of them are instantly (and effortlessly) the focus of any gathering they are at - and I suspect for my friend, she wants a guy who has that same influence. It's not the life I would want, but I also would say that she is not unhappy with her choice.
I think the whole bad boy concept is a bit overhyped. Simply having a motorcycle or having some other sort of hobby doesn't make one into a bad boy. In fact the whole notion that simply buying a motorcycle would make a guy cooler or more attractive in some way...well it never worked for me.
The guys I would have characterized as "bad boys" when I was younger were never guys I was attracted to.
Most arent,unless youre in a ghetto or slum where being a criminal is a turn on for women the majority of healthy women dont seek bad men some end up with them beause they put on a fake facade on in the beigning of the relationship or some are so good looking tha ta owmen will put up with his **** for awhile.
I think the whole bad boy concept is a bit overhyped. Simply having a motorcycle or having some other sort of hobby doesn't make one into a bad boy. In fact the whole notion that simply buying a motorcycle would make a guy cooler or more attractive in some way...well it never worked for me.
The guys I would have characterized as "bad boys" when I was younger were never guys I was attracted to.
Yeah. Women definitely like fun guys and interesting guys and sexy guys, but irresponsible, disrespectful, selfish, etc. "bad" boys, not so much.
Just because someone is a "bad boy" doesn't mean he doesn't care for or not love the person he is with. Many people are on the outside looking in, and have no idea if he takes care of her, listens to her, makes her laugh, and keeps her safe. That is the reason she likes him, because he is there for her, and he treats her well. He may be so called bad to the rest of the world, but he treats her great, and that's why she enjoys being with him
People I grew up with will tell you that I'm attracted to bad boys, but they haven't really been TYPICAL bad boys. I've never been physically abused or cheated on or lied to in any truly significant way. My one ex (the one I had the longest relationship with) is in many ways NOT a good person, but he treated me well at a time in my life when I needed someone to really pay attention to what was going on in my life. I was in a terrible spiral that could have ended very badly.
Just read my first paragraph and I need to clarify - I have never been physically abused or cheated on EVER. But I have been lied to, though none of the lies were huge whoppers - just standard white lies. Still unacceptable, but nothing earth shattering. Certainly, it was never a factor in any of my breakups.
Come on girls, don't deny it. There's a certain allure to bad boys.
No judgement here, just let us nice guys know why we finish last.
For what it's worth, options 1-3 were the most common reasons cited in other polls for why girls are attracted to bad boys.
Neither I nor any of my friends, nor any of the women in the dorms I lived in at college, were attracted to bad boys. It's a minority of women who are. Most women make healthy choices. You don't notice them because there's no sensationalist angle to it, they don't stand out. But most women look for baggage-free guys who will treat them well. Sorry to disappoint you. Reality is often more ho-hum than the tabloids.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 04-14-2014 at 10:23 AM..
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