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I'm only 39 and have been divorced for almost 15 years now. I don't plan to marry again. My marriage was awful, but I had a good relationship afterward that just fell apart without much heartbreak or drama, so I've seen both good and very bad relationships.
I don't plan to marry again because I just like how things are. I don't want to have to compromise my habits or hobbies. Maybe I'll change my mind if I magically find some perfect guy, but I certainly won't go looking for him.
I've only read the first page, but I'm sure there's dudes on here who can relate. I was in a 4 year relationship in my 20's, followed by a 2 year relationship in my early 30's. Neither of those women was right for me, but I still thought I could meet "the one". Then I met her, the woman I thought was the one. Dated her for 3 years and then married her. Biggest mistake of my life. At 40, got divorced and went into a deep depression (I didn't want the divorce). Was unemployed and unhappy for well over 2 years. Finally left the house I was married in and moved across the country for a new job. I do really well financially, but now I worry about not being able to retire after the great recession and divorce drained me. The women I meet out here want to be stay at home moms. If I did that, I'd end up broke, as the woman would surely leave me and take everything. I can't risk it, and I no longer trust women after what my ex-wife did to me. Plus, dating has changed so much with the internet that I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. Better to just give up on the dream of a family now. Sad, but true. A bad choice in my 30's cost me my future. I can't get it back.
I would like to be married again, but I'm not going to force my BF into something that doesn't feel right for us. I would like to be in a long term monogamous relationship, but I don't know if we are ready to be roommates. Maybe I could live next door. I'm serious! Maybe townhouses with a connecting door, like a hotel. When we need a break, retreat to your own side!
I like making my own decisions and he really needs a lot of personal space.
I dont mind taking care of him as he ages. He has a good sense of humor, loves music and is really smart, so I think he'll be good company when we are old.
Once he is gone, and I'm a single old lady, I'm going to buy a B and B and turn it into a rooming house for single old ladies. We'll eat meals together and hang out, just like in college.
Hopefully I won't need to make that decision for many years, but if I were single again I wouldn't remarry.
The companionship/intimacy/security is nice but I wouldn't rush out to find a replacement. I'd foster my network of friends, instead. And I'd date several men casually, like I did in the old days.
I've only read the first page, but I'm sure there's dudes on here who can relate. I was in a 4 year relationship in my 20's, followed by a 2 year relationship in my early 30's. Neither of those women was right for me, but I still thought I could meet "the one". Then I met her, the woman I thought was the one. Dated her for 3 years and then married her. Biggest mistake of my life. At 40, got divorced and went into a deep depression (I didn't want the divorce). Was unemployed and unhappy for well over 2 years. Finally left the house I was married in and moved across the country for a new job. I do really well financially, but now I worry about not being able to retire after the great recession and divorce drained me. The women I meet out here want to be stay at home moms. If I did that, I'd end up broke, as the woman would surely leave me and take everything. I can't risk it, and I no longer trust women after what my ex-wife did to me. Plus, dating has changed so much with the internet that I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. Better to just give up on the dream of a family now. Sad, but true. A bad choice in my 30's cost me my future. I can't get it back.
Not every divorced woman takes a man to the cleaners. You know that, right? I could have attached a few of my ex's things to my divorce, including a retirement fund, and my attorney encouraged me to pursue a clause stating that when he came into a large sum of money that he would pay me back for supporting him, etc., because his grandfather was loaded and he stood to inherit a nice piece of change. But my ex and I were adults about the whole thing, and agreed to leave the marriage with what we came into it.
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