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Old 04-18-2014, 10:05 AM
 
Location: India
90 posts, read 100,263 times
Reputation: 167

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She says and I quote (roughly): You're not good looking. I've been with guys much hotter. But it doesn't matter - you are a very good person. That's why I am with you.

Although it hurt, I feel like I've fallen into my own trap - because I always say looks don't matter, only personality does. So now I can't even confront her. Still, it hurts to know that your SO doesn't think you're attractive. I already have low self-esteem and think I am a 3 even when most people say I am an 8. But for gf to treat me like a 3 is

Am I wasting my time with her?

 
Old 04-18-2014, 10:09 AM
 
Location: Terra
2,826 posts, read 3,309,812 times
Reputation: 3341
Yes because she is probably getting some on the side from hotter guys.
 
Old 04-18-2014, 10:11 AM
 
4,228 posts, read 6,314,048 times
Reputation: 5333
Sounds like a b. But hey, guys put up with them all the time.
 
Old 04-18-2014, 10:12 AM
 
36,831 posts, read 26,583,166 times
Reputation: 33984
Even if she thought that, she should never, ever have said it.

I'd end this now. You are wasting time. Unless she's great in the sack.
 
Old 04-18-2014, 10:14 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
15,676 posts, read 13,015,354 times
Reputation: 28041
I would tell her to gtfomf.
 
Old 04-18-2014, 10:16 AM
 
571 posts, read 1,018,441 times
Reputation: 1450
Quote:
Originally Posted by geniusss View Post
She says and I quote (roughly): You're not good looking. I've been with guys much hotter. But it doesn't matter - you are a very good person. That's why I am with you.

Although it hurt, I feel like I've fallen into my own trap - because I always say looks don't matter, only personality does. So now I can't even confront her. Still, it hurts to know that your SO doesn't think you're attractive. I already have low self-esteem and think I am a 3 even when most people say I am an 8. But for gf to treat me like a 3 is

Am I wasting my time with her?
Ugh, yeah, that's hurtful. HOWEVER, if in conversation you've encouraged this talk about how unimportant looks are, then put in that context, it isn't terrible of her to say (plus, only you know her tone of voice when she said it, etc).

I don't think you are wasting your time with her. Looks like you may need to discuss this with her to clear the air.

I dated a guy in college that really was not attractive at all. He would comment and joke that he knew he wasn't good looking enough to be with me. Maybe other friends we hung out with took their cues from him and would joke "How'd you land her? How is it that she's with you?" I have no idea if this ever annoyed him. I'm trying to remember if I ever made a joke about his looks - I don't think so. But from my perspective, I would have been shocked to find out it bothered him.

Maybe your girlfriend has no idea this was insulting to you.
 
Old 04-18-2014, 10:17 AM
 
Location: Idaho
4,898 posts, read 4,832,419 times
Reputation: 9890
Quote:
Originally Posted by geniusss View Post
...
Am I wasting my time with her?
Probably. She is disrespectful and selfish. One's 'mate' should be supportive, encouraging, and kind. Please think long and hard about you continuing with her. Me? I wouldn't.
 
Old 04-18-2014, 10:18 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
15,676 posts, read 13,015,354 times
Reputation: 28041
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelcake4 View Post

Maybe your girlfriend has no idea this was insulting to you.
 
Old 04-18-2014, 10:28 AM
 
1,324 posts, read 1,425,342 times
Reputation: 2213
Quote:
Originally Posted by volosong View Post
Probably. She is disrespectful and selfish. One's 'mate' should be supportive, encouraging, and kind. Please think long and hard about you continuing with her. Me? I wouldn't.

Exactly. A gf who is disrespectful and selfish only gets more disrespectful and selfish. Do you feel like you deserve that?
 
Old 04-18-2014, 10:30 AM
 
9,412 posts, read 12,000,047 times
Reputation: 20232
Quote:
Originally Posted by volosong View Post
Probably. She is disrespectful and selfish. One's 'mate' should be supportive, encouraging, and kind. Please think long and hard about you continuing with her. Me? I wouldn't.
I agree. Being kind to your loved one is a cornerstone of a good relationship. Saying something hurtful like that isn't cool at all.
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