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If you can't fathom marriage, I wouldn't have children. While not all kids have loving parents in a nice household, that should at least be the goal. If you can't even put in enough trust to marry their mother, you should not have children with her.
I just like to hear people say it. Because if you are really vowing to raise a family with someone and spend your life with them - making the commitment of marriage shouldn't be a big deal - unless you want to have one foot out the door "just in case." In which case, I would be upfront with the person and let them know that you don't trust them enough to marry them but you still want them to have your children.
Women file for 70% of divorces. This man is being wise. Whether married or not, "one foot out the door" is still possible, the statistics bear it out.
Here's another concept you're not going to like, the term for a child born out of wedlock is a bastard. What parent would want to purposely do that to a child? If you fear commitment, don't have children.
Did we just teleport to the 1940's? Wake up, 50% of all children are born out of wedlock now.
How would the break-up of a long-term partnership with kids, one that your state defined as marriage (common-law) whether you, yourself, do or not, one to which state law according 50% of the total assets to your partner applies, be any different than a divorce? Did you think that if a Justice of the Peace doesn't perform a quickie ceremony and give you a piece of paper, that you could just walk away and leave your partner and your kids in the lurch? Did you think that there would be no "emotional drain" if a long-term committed relationship with kids were to rip apart and a court-ordered settlement of accounts and responsibilities took place?
If so, you're ignorant of the law, and you're not thinking clearly. Study your state's laws re: common-law marriages and asset allocation pertaining to that type of marriage.
You're not sure you believe in monogamy? So you're ok with the mother of your kids getting it on with another guy?
Why do the women of the board feel the need to shame this man into marriage? How does it affect you personally if he chooses not to, and his partner is ok with that?
If marriage were such a great deal, why do you need to cajole him to the altar?
Did we just teleport to the 1940's? Wake up, 50% of all children are born out of wedlock now.
And, statistically speaking, those children wind up facing a far more extensive set of disadvantages than those who are not. Socially, emotionally, financially, educationally.
Really. If it was "just" a piece of paper, it wouldn't be that big of a deal and people wouldn't have such strong opinions on it one way or the other.
What I find ironic is that you've been on the other thread stating all the reasons why you'd never get married again, but are on this thread shaming this man into a legally binding agreement that has a 50% failure rate.
And, statistically speaking, those children wind up facing a far more extensive set of disadvantages than those who are not. Socially, emotionally, financially, educationally.
Exactly, we've got a systemic problem which the OP's personal decision whether or not to marry is not going to effect one bit.
I never use the term but you're saying it's not true ?
In the old days it was a legal term that was used regarding Inheritances, Estates, legitimate children's rights from illegitimate children.
No, I'm saying the term "bastard" went out with the dodo bird. The other poster trying to shame the OP into marriage by telling him that his child will be called a "bastard" is out of her mind.
I always think these threads are humorous because the females come out of the woodwork to shame the man into marriage with all these dire predictions, and the best argument really comes down to, as made by dewdrop93, "it's harder to leave."
Is that supposed to be a ringing endorsement?
OP is wise to eschew marriage, it's a broken institution.
What I find ironic is that you've been on the other thread stating all the reasons why you'd never get married again, but are on this thread shaming this man into a legally binding agreement that has a 50% failure rate.
I'm the same way. Us older singles have done the marriage / family thing and understand how important a marriage commitment is to making babies and raising those kids.
After a long marriage and the kids successfully raised and independent, I would not get married again.
Marriage is important for young people who want to build a family and have kids.
It's not that important for us old farts who just want a companion friend and have sleepovers on occasion.
We are not considering making babies. I got that T-Shirt.
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