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Old 04-23-2014, 09:02 AM
MJ7
 
6,221 posts, read 10,708,428 times
Reputation: 6606

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I've grown accustom to making the first move always. It would be nice if a woman indulged me for once. All you have to do is ask me if I'm available and that's it. It's not really hard. I'm not really going to judge how you pick me up, unless you are super awkward about it.
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Old 04-23-2014, 09:03 AM
 
Location: NY
9,131 posts, read 19,944,891 times
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So you had two different guys try to cold approach you, and you backed out of it out of fear of judgement.

Hey, if they approached and initiated with you first, they already liked what they say, whether you were in smelly workout gear, buying blister stuff, or whatever.

Don't be so self conscious.

Instead of wondering why a cute guy wants to talk to you, just carry on a normal conversation as you would if you ran into a friend.
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Old 04-23-2014, 09:05 AM
 
540 posts, read 452,492 times
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Or approach them like you would want to be approached since whatever youre doing now isnt working
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Old 04-23-2014, 09:10 AM
 
4,613 posts, read 4,784,008 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ7 View Post
I've grown accustom to making the first move always. It would be nice if a woman indulged me for once. All you have to do is ask me if I'm available and that's it. It's not really hard. I'm not really going to judge how you pick me up, unless you are super awkward about it.

Even then, I don't judge. A woman that approaches a man already puts her above a HUGE percentage of her peers.
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Old 04-23-2014, 09:24 AM
 
Location: Sacramento, Ca.
2,441 posts, read 3,423,860 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CarbonCountyLiving View Post
I guess my fear is that the guy will think I'm creepy, or be like "wtf chick, I was just being nice..."
Apparently, some backwards prude has influenced you to believe that iniative and rejection are reserved for men only. But l suggest that you break free from that mindset, catch up to the present and get more out of life by approaching people you find attractive. I mean, it hasnt killed us men off so far. Lol
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Old 04-23-2014, 09:53 AM
MJ7
 
6,221 posts, read 10,708,428 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
Even then, I don't judge. A woman that approaches a man already puts her above a HUGE percentage of her peers.
So you've already judged her? Look, we make judgments every second that's how we operate. You can judge her by saying well that was awkward, but I'll be available on...not all judgements are negative.
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Old 04-23-2014, 11:24 AM
 
6,732 posts, read 9,976,371 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
You certainly COULD have tried harder, but nobody's going to fault you for not doing so.

You're in a good position; as a woman looking to put moves on men, you can afford to be a bit "bolder" than men who would make the first move without looking creepy. In fact, I've never heard of a woman described as "creepy" in that scenario. Guys might be a little intimidated, but it would be rare for anybody to think BADLY of you for starting a conversation.

I've been cold approached once in my entire life under what I'd call "normal" circumstances (the reason for that clarification is boring, just trust me here):

She walked up to me, standing with 2 of my friends in line for a movie, and said, "Are you seeing anyone?". After an awkward couple of seconds while I tried to compose myself, having never been asked that before, she broke the silence with "Here's my number. Call me if you'd like to have dinner sometime."

FLOORED. Such a baller move on her part...I'm still impressed by it years later. I'm sure there's some real idiots out there, but I can't even imagine someone viewing that as "creepy".
'Creepy' requires a power differential, which is less common in the required direction.

Imagine Kathy Bates is your boss, and she asks you out while hinting that there is a promotion in it for you, if you go down on her well, and become her boy toy. That is creepy.
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Old 04-23-2014, 11:32 AM
 
4,613 posts, read 4,784,008 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ7 View Post
So you've already judged her? Look, we make judgments every second that's how we operate. You can judge her by saying well that was awkward, but I'll be available on...not all judgements are negative.

Let me rephrase then. I wouldn't judge her negatively, regardless of the level of awkwardness, which is what I was referencing in your previous post.
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Old 04-23-2014, 11:34 AM
 
4,613 posts, read 4,784,008 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
'Creepy' requires a power differential, which is less common in the required direction.

Imagine Kathy Bates is your boss, and she asks you out while hinting that there is a promotion in it for you, if you go down on her well, and become her boy toy. That is creepy.
I'm not sure I agree with the underlined, and I'm certain that many women don't either. I could find a dozen descriptions of a "creepy" guy making a move around here that don't involve power differential, but rather that the woman simply wasn't interested.

The example you provide most certainly IS creepy, but not the scenario that the OP presents, and I don't think she'd have any fear of being viewed as creepy in the scenarios she provides, or any other. The latter is obviously speculation on my part; based on the tone of her posts...I'm not sure that anybody would have to worry about her pulling a Kathy Bates on anyone.
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Old 04-23-2014, 11:43 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,705 posts, read 19,880,600 times
Reputation: 43031
Practice, Practice, Practice, with capitalized P.

Guy #2 wanted to ask you out but you didn't give the right signals back.

Relax. And practice. Don't forget to smile alot.

I hunted all my exes down through starting a casual conversation. I would still be a virgin if I wouldn't ALWAYS make the first move.
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