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She is respectful, non interfering, kind and a pleasure. And I know I'm very lucky for that.
That's how my relationship is with my in-laws, period!
I am extremely happy and lucky about that, hearing not so great in-law stories from time to time from someone else.
Huh....who needs the stress and aggravation...coming from the own family, no less.
Glad, I don't have that extra "bonus headache" in my life.....LOL.
I'm not married but have been dating the same guy for a number of years. He and his father are estranged (for very good reasons) but he has a great relationship with his mother and so do I. She lives about 2000 miles away so she visits a few times a year for several days and I enjoy her company.
She is respectful, non interfering, kind and a pleasure. And I know I'm very lucky for that.
incredibly wonderful....you have a good friend in the making....
I had a mother in law like that, and she was great....
I also had a very interferring and manipulative one, and yet, I tollerated her...but she made my life miserable....and that is why, I've made the decission I've made with my son and DIL....
It's best for all concerned...but wishing so badly I had what you have...
I am very thankful- and Crem, I'm familiar with your relationship with the DIL from other posts. I'm sorry for you because I have no doubt you have so much to give and would gladly do so if it were different.
My relationship with my ex hubby's mother was quite different. She didn't speak to one or both of us for years at a time- and she was a horrible, selfish enabler. She would be mad at us for a few months- then get mad at someone else and make up with us. Then make up with them and get mad at someone else. It was a vicious cycle that I believe will continue as long as she lives.
The funny thing is, we've been divorced for about 6 years now and I have a good relationship with the ex. He is dating someone new that his mother can't stand and talks about me like I was the best thing that ever happened to that family. I told him to tell his new woman that I was treated like dog doo too.
For the most part I really like them, and I like to think it's mutual. My husband's family is very different from my family (imaging my big fat greek wedding-LOL) so I think it was harder for them to get used to my showing affection, being a little loud, etc., but we're good. My MIL has two daughters so she's not looking for me to be one of her kids or her best friend or anything like that. And I don't have any expectations of them being surrogate parents for me. I love them and we're friends-no real drama other than some babysitting issues, but that's a whole other story. I get along well with my sibling-in-laws. I've been around since his youngest sister was 10 years old so I really am part of the family, but I think sometimes it's that part of the family where they're rolling their eyes when they see the car pull up. LOL. What's funny, is that of the four kids, 3 of them (my husband and his two sisters) all picked significant others with big, loud, affectionate, somewhat obnoxious (in a good way) families. Guess they felt like they were missing out on something. LOL.
I am very thankful- and Crem, I'm familiar with your relationship with the DIL from other posts. I'm sorry for you because I have no doubt you have so much to give and would gladly do so if it were different.
My relationship with my ex hubby's mother was quite different. She didn't speak to one or both of us for years at a time- and she was a horrible, selfish enabler. She would be mad at us for a few months- then get mad at someone else and make up with us. Then make up with them and get mad at someone else. It was a vicious cycle that I believe will continue as long as she lives.
The funny thing is, we've been divorced for about 6 years now and I have a good relationship with the ex. He is dating someone new that his mother can't stand and talks about me like I was the best thing that ever happened to that family. I told him to tell his new woman that I was treated like dog doo too.
I feel sorry for both him and her, they lost a good one, and maybe she knows it...we seem to sometimes get it, as we grow older yanno? LOL
For the most part I really like them, and I like to think it's mutual. My husband's family is very different from my family (imaging my big fat greek wedding-LOL) so I think it was harder for them to get used to my showing affection, being a little loud, etc., but we're good. My MIL has two daughters so she's not looking for me to be one of her kids or her best friend or anything like that. And I don't have any expectations of them being surrogate parents for me. I love them and we're friends-no real drama other than some babysitting issues, but that's a whole other story. I get along well with my sibling-in-laws. I've been around since his youngest sister was 10 years old so I really am part of the family, but I think sometimes it's that part of the family where they're rolling their eyes when they see the car pull up. LOL. What's funny, is that of the four kids, 3 of them (my husband and his two sisters) all picked significant others with big, loud, affectionate, somewhat obnoxious (in a good way) families. Guess they felt like they were missing out on something. LOL.
very nice story, you sound comfortable and at peace with how things are....very good and thanks so much for sharing....
I feel badly for both of you..b/c there is so much lost....it is very sad...
maybe things will change.....
You have my thoughts and prayers...but it sounds like things are as you wish them to be.
Thanks, Creme, for your thoughts. While it is not the situation I would have wished for, we did the best we could under the circumstances. Sometimes you just have to play the hand you're dealt, ya know? This was a particularly bad hand.
(Is that Kenny Rogers I'm hearing in the background? "You've gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run..." )
My in laws are in England. My MIL has passed on. I never knew her very well. I got to know my FIL when we lived there and he was very kindly but his lady friend is a selfish person who only 'wants him' for herself. If she isn't first, no one is happy--she is a negative influence so it's better she is 3,000 miles away.
We did not get along, they tolerated me. They always have and always will have an unfondness for me. I believe I'm the first person they ever met that told them to go to hell. I would come home some times and I could tell that my wife had been talking to her Mother just by the way she was acting. The MIL was the only woman I'd ever talked to that I found self sub-consciously making a fist thinking I was going to jack her. I never did, but that woman could generate that kind of emotion in a matter of minutes. Once I caught on to the game she was playing, it became kind of fun seeing what kind of reaction I could get out of her.
I moved to Cleveland, OH from NYC last year. My husband is from the Cleveland area and his family is near here. When we were dating and I would come out to visit, my MIL was always talking to me, taking me shopping etc,. She always bragged about being a significant source of support to me. Now that I have moved here to OH with no family or friends and am now her DIL, she rarely calls, she rarely invites me over despite knowing that when I first moved here I was alone on weekends while my husband worked. I felt lonely and excluded and she was so poor at returning calls. When I called over there to try and talk to my in-laws they would have other family members over and during the course of the conversation tell me I could come over and I just need to invite myself and this is how they do it in this family. When I was honest about how I was feeling and what I needed she would then invite me to dinner with the whole family but would be calling from the restaurant where they were being seated. I was an afterthought. My husband puts it down to his parents laziness and tells me not to rely on them. ::Sigh::
I know it could be worse; they could be the real interfering type but sometimes indifference is worse, you know.
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