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Never said it was easy, but if you don't start making some changes in your life you will be 35 years old, 500+ pounds and even more depressed.
Most of us on this board have probably gone through periods of anxiety. If you don't get over it or put all of your effort into it, you'll end up passing 10 years by in isolation asking yourself why you just wasted a good portion of the only life you'll get.
A year ago, I was unemployed and even fatter and trolled internet forums for hours.
A year ago, I was unemployed and even fatter and trolled internet forums for hours.
I mentioned this earlier but must of got overlooked.
Three suggestions not related to the above quote.
1) Lose weight get fit again, Doesnt have to be running a marathon, it can start with running around the block a few times. Baby Steps.
2) Work on your self talk, a self fulfilling prophecy happens only after years of listening to our voice in our head. Remember it took years of self talk to get where we are at. It starts with recognising the negative stuff we tell ourselves and replacing it with positive. If your really negative there are some really agressive selfhelp tapes or self hypnosis tapes out there.
3) Practice, practice, practice. Everything your talking about in regards to dating, confidence with women, conversations etc are all learned skills. Barely rarely can someone be a natural off the bat.
The above things will improve your odds so much better. Good luck.
And the OP should remember that he doesn't have to exercise in a gym if that's not his bag (and it might not be if he's that socially anxious.) Take up tennis. Buy a bike and ride it everywhere. Train for a 5K. Get exercise videos on YouTube. Whatever floats your boat.
I wonder if this is the end result of the "everyone's a winner" sort of helicopter parenting. There's a whole generation of young people who always got a part in the play or a position on the team and a trophy for just showing up. They've never been told no, they don't know how to deal with consequences, and they don't know how to advocate for themselves.
I was never a winner. I didn't get praised. I was surrounded by alcoholics. I dont have not one person from any of my school years to talk to. I suffered various health problems. I don't have trophies. All I know is that the world is cruel and cold hearted.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid
I was never a winner. I didn't get praised. I was surrounded by alcoholics. I dont have not one person from any of my school years to talk to. I suffered various health problems. I don't have trophies. All I know is that the world is cruel and cold hearted.
It's easier to blame and point fingers or just complain, than to work and fix a bad situation. Emotional, physical and intellectual laziness permeates our culture at nearly all levels.
Completely gross.
Your post kind of sums up zentropa's and burglar's posts in this part of the thread, so I'll quote yours.
Everything you are saying is true, except when it's not. I've had high levels of anxiety most of my life. I've done biofeedback as one of the efforts to deal with it, and the tech said my physiological reactions were extremely high. I've been diagnosed by a variety of mental health professionals. I've learned to manage this fairly well, but it has taken decades to go from being nearly paralyzed through a series of treatment options to being fairly functional. Lazy as a descriptor for anyone who deals with a pathological level of anxiety is really misplaced.
My point is that untreated, anxiety can be crippling. I agree that it's over diagnosed, especially the self diagnoses, but that doesn't diminish the impact a real anxiety disorder has on a person, and it has no bearing on the effort it takes to cope.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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I never said it wasn't a real thing, Homina. Nor did I say depression wasn't a real thing.
It actually does a disservice to those that really have issues with it that internet complainers go "wah wah, I can't do this, I have anxiety, will anyone love me, boo hoo".
There are real obstacles for people to overcome. It isn't easy. But do those people really challenged by this ***** and moan day after day, thread after thread about it? No, they do what you and others do, they work at it, get help for it, and try to overcome or cope.
I never said it wasn't a real thing, Homina. Nor did I say depression wasn't a real thing.
It actually does a disservice to those that really have issues with it that internet complainers go "wah wah, I can't do this, I have anxiety, will anyone love me, boo hoo".
There are real obstacles for people to overcome. It isn't easy. But do those people really challenged by this ***** and moan day after day, thread after thread about it? No, they do what you and others do, they work at it, get help for it, and try to overcome or cope.
But also at the same time people can use the "your just lazy" excuse to justify not wanting to be involved, no wanting to be bothered by others, of just plan denial of seeing the ugliness of our society which means also some personal change to make it a better world. Don't know if any of the above is true for you timberline?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiian by heart
But also at the same time people can use the "your just lazy" excuse to justify not wanting to be involved, no wanting to be bothered by others, of just plan denial of seeing the ugliness of our society which means also some personal change to make it a better world. Don't know if any of the above is true for you timberline?
I really have no idea what you're asking, honestly. I'm obviously involved at some level. If I totally didn't care I wouldn't be giving advice. Most of the best advice I every got from my mother (I lost my father young) was to get off my azz. If you want to be a ________ then go do it and quit your whining, no one is come in here and give it to you on a platter (my mom is not exactly the warm type). That is the way things worked. I wanted a camera at 13. Mom, I'd like a camera. The answer? Go get a job and earn the money to buy one (hello paper route). Real talk.
Sure, society is ugly in parts, there is also a ton of beauty. We each have to make a decision for ourselves whether we'll focus on wallowing in the ugly or concentrate on the beauty. This is really a conscious decision.
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