Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm happy to say that I've decided not to go on pursuing and realized that she - whether she knew it or not - was using me for emotional support whenever her life was bad. What I picked up from it all was that, regardless of the situation, the fact that no one else could make her feel good when she was feeling low but me is a testament to how good a guy I must be. We didn't end on bad terms, but now when she texts me calling me terms like "baby" and "honey" I respond by calling her by her name. I couldn't go on waiting for someone who seemed to need forever to feel the same way about me, and I realized that if I waited any longer, if I did eventually get her she would not respect me as a man. (Before you analyze any of this paragraph best you check out the other thread).
Now the next step: how do I get over her? How do I avoid temptation to fall for her advances? I know the answer is "start dating again," I have, but I can't commit to someone until I have her out of my system. What could I do to make it easier to move on? And, equally important, how do I do it in a way that doesn't bring drama with her? I don't want drama, I just want to move on.
I learned that the only thing you can do is to try to distract yourself with other things. Work, school, volunteering, friends, ect. Do things that make you feel good and make you happy. But ultimately, only time can really help you out.
I still haven't fully gotten over this crush I had on this one guy, but I don't feel nearly as bad as I did last year. I was a total wreck. Haha. Time heals all wounds eventually. It is not the end of the world. Cut off all contact with her. If you feel you are tempted to talk to her again, just remind yourself why you wanted to leave her alone to begin with.
I'm happy to say that I've decided not to go on pursuing and realized that she - whether she knew it or not - was using me for emotional support whenever her life was bad. What I picked up from it all was that, regardless of the situation, the fact that no one else could make her feel good when she was feeling low but me is a testament to how good a guy I must be. We didn't end on bad terms, but now when she texts me calling me terms like "baby" and "honey" I respond by calling her by her name. I couldn't go on waiting for someone who seemed to need forever to feel the same way about me, and I realized that if I waited any longer, if I did eventually get her she would not respect me as a man. (Before you analyze any of this paragraph best you check out the other thread).
Now the next step: how do I get over her? How do I avoid temptation to fall for her advances? I know the answer is "start dating again," I have, but I can't commit to someone until I have her out of my system. What could I do to make it easier to move on? And, equally important, how do I do it in a way that doesn't bring drama with her? I don't want drama, I just want to move on.
The way I handle situations like that is to cut off contact.
There are some people out there that are going to unknowinly or knowingly be toxic.
In your scenerio, the woman liked you, but wouldn't commit. In the meantime, she is basically acting like you two are in a realtionship, without actually being in one.
I don't know if I would never talk with her again, but I would definately reel back on the texting. One word answers, and if I was busy at all while she texted me, I flat out would either not reply or give one text something like, "I am busy with......., lets text anohter time. Enjoy your evening." If she proceeded to keep texting me, I would not reply. If she brought it up later, I would just say, "i had my phone on silent and was busy with....."
I have persued women or even friendships with guys that I was being patient and hoping they would stop with the shady behavior. I learned that people aren't going to stop doing something that they were doing before they met you. Their behavior is their behavior, and they won't change.
I stumbled along in a daze, simply telling myself each day when I woke up to put one foot in front of the other, to keep breathing, and to keep working my butt off. I was "lucky enough" to land a job that requires a lot of quick thinking with accuracy. I had to really focus thereby forcing memories out at least for 8 hours out of the day.
Work is what got me through. And posting/whining here.
I would never recommend being in a relationship with another person until you stop looking back. That isn't fair to the next person, and you aren't giving yourself time to heal and grow.
The way I handle situations like that is to cut off contact.
There are some people out there that are going to unknowinly or knowingly be toxic.
In your scenerio, the woman liked you, but wouldn't commit. In the meantime, she is basically acting like you two are in a realtionship, without actually being in one.
I don't know if I would never talk with her again, but I would definately reel back on the texting. One word answers, and if I was busy at all while she texted me, I flat out would either not reply or give one text something like, "I am busy with......., lets text anohter time. Enjoy your evening." If she proceeded to keep texting me, I would not reply. If she brought it up later, I would just say, "i had my phone on silent and was busy with....."
I have persued women or even friendships with guys that I was being patient and hoping they would stop with the shady behavior. I learned that people aren't going to stop doing something that they were doing before they met you. Their behavior is their behavior, and they won't change.
Forgive the typos, I'm on a tablet
The downside with that is she'll be on to me limiting my talk with her... and then she'll start an issue out of it, and that's something I really don't want. I'm doomed to seeing this girl from time to time and can't afford to be on bad terms.
The upside to that is she would likely realize what she missed out on, because every time we argued and stopped speaking it was her coming back to me. She just never agreed to commit subsequently. She seems to need me and me ignoring her would be a great lesson. I just don't care to teach her it, because we're done, as far as I'm concerned, no matter what she learns.
I'm happy to say that I've decided not to go on pursuing and realized that she - whether she knew it or not - was using me for emotional support whenever her life was bad. What I picked up from it all was that, regardless of the situation, the fact that no one else could make her feel good when she was feeling low but me is a testament to how good a guy I must be. We didn't end on bad terms, but now when she texts me calling me terms like "baby" and "honey" I respond by calling her by her name. I couldn't go on waiting for someone who seemed to need forever to feel the same way about me, and I realized that if I waited any longer, if I did eventually get her she would not respect me as a man. (Before you analyze any of this paragraph best you check out the other thread).
Now the next step: how do I get over her? How do I avoid temptation to fall for her advances? I know the answer is "start dating again," I have, but I can't commit to someone until I have her out of my system. What could I do to make it easier to move on? And, equally important, how do I do it in a way that doesn't bring drama with her? I don't want drama, I just want to move on.
For one thing. You need to cease all contact. Stop talking, texting, emailing etc. Remove all memories of her, photos, notes, clothing left behind etc. Start spending more time with friends, doing more productive things, and getting out more. Don't sit around your home letting your memories surround you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
