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I do not think looks are an "overrated" quality, however they are less important than morals, maturity, and a slew of other things. I would rather have an average looking man who would be a wonderful father and life partner than an 11/10 who didn't care about his future.
Looks are where it all starts though, looks and the chemistry of how we interact. If I find a man ugly, chances are I would never date him. That doesn't mean people don't find ME ugly (I'm sure they do, I won't be everyone's type, so don't think I'm condescending), or that another won't find the man I reject an 11/10.
I think a lot of the pressure we feel as we age is due to Hollywood and the public image. As a country, we are made to believe that everything is a "condition" that needs to be treated, such as aging. I firmly believe we should take care of ourselves as we age, however I find it ludicrous that so many are made to fear it. Pregnancy is also a "condition" that must be treated, where as all women hear about today are stretchmarks, your post baby body, baby weight.... it's a shame. All these natural body changes and we are made to think it's something to be ashamed of, or to fear and hide. I'm sure some people allow this to change their dating expectations (my mother once told me she could never date a gray haired man, and she is over 55...), however I think a lot of it is us working ourselves up over the commercials we see every day.
Looks are definitely important. That's because humans are genetically hardwired to seek beauty. This preference has been ingrained into every woman's unconscious mind due to millions of years of evolution.
It's in our DNA to be attracted to beautiful people and nothing will ever change that.
And from my experience if a woman doesn't find you attractive (she thinks you are ugly) then she will either ignore your advancements right from the start or she will give you a rough treatment.
That has been my experience. I've never got the opportunity to date and have sex and all this is just because my looks are ugly.
Did you consider facial reconstructive surgery? If you are ugly in the face, definitely consider that. If you are short, go for limb lengthening. If you are short and ugly, you will have to go for leftovers that are divorced or settle for using your right hand for the rest of your life.
Damn it people like you are so stupid and shallow it's simply amazing.
Looks are important, that's not to say a charming, outgoing personality doesn't matter. It does! It could just be that need to honestly be happy with yourself.
I said this in another thread, but the difference in my life after working out is mind blowing. I used to be 6'1 and 146 lbs. I looked like a bobble head! I felt a little more athletic back then though.. At least lighter on my feet and faster. I kinda miss it.
Now I'm 200 lbs with 10-12% Bodyfat.
Men respect me more, always call me to hangout instead if just calling me if they want to go snowboarding. Co-workers are more apt to listen to me and take my advice, I don't get brushed off anymore.
Women "accidentally" brush up against me, always start conversations and small talk with zero effort on my part. That NEVER happened 7-8 years ago. I don't get turned down much, but I'm not nearly aggressive enough to keep women interested. I'm working on that still!
No matter how PC people say they are, it's a shallow world. I'm sure people who loose a bunch of weight notice the same things I did.
Now why is this? Is it because I'm better looking? Is it because I have way more confidence and dress better since my clothes don't just hang off me anymore?
I think it's a bit ignorant of people to think or say that looks don't matter. If you are in great shape, dress in clothes that fit well and are stylish, have good grooming (white teeth, nice facial hair/clean shaven if not able to grow facial hair well, nice haircut/tight buzz if losing hair, etc), and are even average looking facial-wise, you shouldn't have a huge issue finding a decent woman who's into you.
If you are a terrible person or are dysfunctional in some/many ways, then your looks won't save you. They aren't THAT important.
You would be amazed by how much better you appear to the opposite sex when you do the absolute best with what you've got though, no need to have facial reconstructive surgery or something drastic/stupid like that.
I don't care for looks. I only have preferences. All my exes are tall except for my most recent ex. He's only a little taller than I am but I fell for him because of his other good qualities.
It's men who speak and write well that I have a weakness for and that has more to do with wit/intelligence.
Yes, you don't care for looks yet coincidentally all of your exe's coincidentally happened to be tall.
I am not a criminal but coincidentally, the last 10 malls that had their alarms triggered were from me.
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