Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I wouldn't. A man on disability asked me out for ice cream. If he is attracted to you, a few dollars for a cup of coffee is doable. Pretend you don't notice him for a couple of days. If he notices and speaks up, he's attracted.
Over thinking this way too much. He cleans floors at a hospital. That doesn't mean he only makes $2 an hour and can't afford 1 or 2 cups of coffee lol
I wouldn't. A man on disability asked me out for ice cream. If he is attracted to you, a few dollars for a cup of coffee is doable. Pretend you don't notice him for a couple of days. If he notices and speaks up, he's attracted.
I don't really care who pays. I just want an opportunity to get to know him. I thought I would ask for coffee since that's a pretty easy meet up and can be perceived platonic from the outside. It's not a huge town. Everyone knows every and their business in one way or another.
If he pays, cool. If I pay, cool. I'm more concerned with the opportunity to learn more about him and what he likes to do and what cool things there are to do in this town.
We went weeks without seeing each other and that's what sparked us talking more and him actually saying hello to me each time he saw me and trying to make small talk when he doesn't seem to talk to anyone else at work.
I actually thought he was quiet and shy and so I welcomed the extra chit chat with him. I am taking this as a sign of his interest. I only mentioned the department he works in because I've known men in the past to be intimidated by nurses thinking we make so much money and other BS.
I missed the part about seeing him every few weeks. And if he is making a point of speaking to you, he's attracted. I'd still wait for him to ask you out. Longer flirtations take patience, but the pay off is bigger.
And the social thing is exactly why you should not pay. It puts you in a position of power over him when all you want is to be equal. You can always kick in later if you get serious .
I would still ignore him the next time you see him.. so he has to work a little. But that's just me . Hard to get works faster and lasts longer than being easy (by that I mean too available, not sex.) (Mom was right.)
I missed the part about seeing him every few weeks. And if he is making a point of speaking to you, he's attracted. I'd still wait for him to ask you out. Longer flirtations take patience, but the pay off is bigger.
And the social thing is exactly why you should not pay. It puts you in a position of power over him when all you want is to be equal. You can always kick in later if you get serious .
I would still ignore him the next time you see him.. so he has to work a little. But that's just me . Hard to get works faster and lasts longer than being easy (by that I mean too available, not sex.) (Mom was right.)
Believe me, I love the idea of traditional gender roles and traditional marriage but I also realize that im in the minority these days.
However, I'm going to be 30 this year and I've never been asked on a date. I'm always the one to make really obvious advances that prompt men to actually begin something.
I just don't want to be some 60 year old woman wondering where my prince charming is when all it would take is me making the initial approach. If he declined my approach at least I would know where I stand instead of spending weeks on end (potentially years) wondering what if.
Is it really that bad to ask someone to grab coffee with you? Should I just sit home alone and knit sweaters until someone finally finds me worthy of the initial approach?
Compliment his work, and ask him if he'd consider coming over to your place to do some custodial work, on a day off, and ask how much he would charge you for it!
Now if he walks into a spotlessly clean house............................................. .......Lol!
Believe me, I love the idea of traditional gender roles and traditional marriage but I also realize that im in the minority these days.
However, I'm going to be 30 this year and I've never been asked on a date. I'm always the one to make really obvious advances that prompt men to actually begin something.
I just don't want to be some 60 year old woman wondering where my prince charming is when all it would take is me making the initial approach. If he declined my approach at least I would know where I stand instead of spending weeks on end (potentially years) wondering what if.
Is it really that bad to ask someone to grab coffee with you? Should I just sit home alone and knit sweaters until someone finally finds me worthy of the initial approach?
No, I think it's fine to ask him out for coffee if you want to. Good luck!
You're over thinking and considering you don't know what he's thinking/feeling could be wrong on many levels. His talking to you might be "...she is friendly and doesn't look down at my being the janitor so I'll talk back to her, friendship like..."
You could go round and round till you turn blue and faint still not knowing. Better to take the leap than always wonder, "what if".
What's his work schedule, does he go in or leave same time as you or any difference where you can either catch him coming in or leaving work, without running down the halls to catch him?
Ask him, "Hey, would you like to join me sometime for a friendly/platonic cup of coffee?" Sure. "When is good for you?" badda bing! Done! Don't think about it, just do it. Myself, if I even start to think more than the first question/comment than I go into mental doubt overload. It's just two friendly people having a cup of coffee, not a marriage proposal and don't think past that and enjoy the company as you do at work. If he says No, hopefully it was outside before or after work, less people and at least you can give your mind a rest and move on to other folk...Best to ya
Go in a wee bit early or stay a wee bit late and ask him for coffee already. All he can do is say no and tell you he has a girlfriend or he will just say no.
Go in a wee bit early or stay a wee bit late and ask him for coffee already. All he can do is say no and tell you he has a girlfriend or he will just say no.
^This.
OP, just do it. Don't overthink it. Next time you see him say something like, "Hey (insert name), I was gonna go grab some coffee at that place I was telling you about. Wanna join me?"
If he says no because he has a girlfriend, just be cool and say it wasn't going to be a date--just coffee.
His job is stripping and waxing the floors. I've been flirty with things like "hope I don't slip on the fresh wax" or something else stupid and walked away thinking to myself "stupid just ask him out already!" ....I'm a nervous lady when it comes to nontraditional roles. But I have recently taken it upon myself to be more confident and outgoing and to try things outside my comfort zone.
Ask him to show you how to wax on, wax off, KarateKid-style.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
