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I have--believe me! I am also cheap -- I didn't need student loans when I went to college and (grad school -- twice). I just lived at home, worked a part time job and did without. I still do without.
It's tough to date someone for 15 months and not be attached though. It's tough to watch someone you care for struggle.
I also don't like being approached as a cosigner. I think finances should be a boundary unless you are married. We have talked about getting engaged, but since it's not a done deal, I don't want to get stuck with any ties here.
Thanks everybody for echoing what I have already been saying to myself in my head.
This thread just gets worse! Dude, wake up! This isn't someone you should remotely be considering getting engaged with. My guess is that she's using you as a life raft (consciously or unconsciously--it doesn't matter). Heed the multiple red flags waving in your face. Being attached isn't a good reason to marry someone. You kind of implied it yourself--you can get attached to anyone you're with for a certain amount of time. Choose a more together object for your attachment next time.
How'd you end up being with someone like this for 15 months, anyway? You needed the sex and a warm body? Dude, look before you leap, next time. You have a brain, as well as a d1*k. Use your brain. It sounds like you brain's gotten all fogged up, or something.
This thread just gets worse! Dude, wake up! This isn't someone you should remotely be considering getting engaged with. My guess is that she's using you as a life raft (consciously or unconsciously--it doesn't matter). Heed the multiple red flags waving in your face. Being attached isn't a good reason to marry someone. You kind of implied it yourself--you can get attached to anyone you're with for a certain amount of time. Choose a more together object for your attachment next time.
How'd you end up being with someone like this for 15 months, anyway? You needed the sex and a warm body? Dude, look before you leap, next time. You have a brain, as well as a d1*k. Use your brain. It sounds like you brain's gotten all fogged up, or something.
This is the smartest thing written here in a while as I have had this feeling for a long time. Don't get me wrong, we make a very good team together when her emotions are in check. But they often are not and I do get the feeling sometimes that I am the life raft. But she really works hard at making sure we stay together and get closer to each other, so it's not all about being a life raft.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123
And she grates on people's nerves? Just seemed like an unusual way to describe an SO, that's all.
It's my blunt way of putting things. I don't sugar coat the truth.
Last edited by StutteringJohn; 04-29-2014 at 12:48 PM..
My college roommate did this for her boyfriend of four years at the time despite my telling her the many reasons why she shouldn't do this. She didn't listen to me saying they were planning on getting married.
...She's been paying his student loans every month so her credit doesn't get dinged because he left her high and dry on them. She's also never been able to support herself without living with a man. Due to his loans, she has either lived with a boyfriend or lived with her parents. She just got married to another guy who is now paying off that other guy's film school.
My college roommate did this for her boyfriend of four years at the time despite my telling her the many reasons why she shouldn't do this. She didn't listen to me saying they were planning on getting married.
...She's been paying his student loans every month so her credit doesn't get dinged because he left her high and dry on them. She's also never been able to support herself without living with a man. Due to his loans, she has either lived with a boyfriend or lived with her parents. She just got married to another guy who is now paying off that other guy's film school.
Just say no.
And thats a milder hit than if a guy cosigns. Alot easier for a woman to live with a man to take care of her. If a guy was paying out it could result in a total loss of sex life.
OP, you sound like you're trying to see clear of your emotions for this woman, but it would def be like taping a sign to your back that says: "SUCKER".
Sorry, but it had to be said.
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