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I would trust the advice of a professional before I would trust the collective advice of strangers.
OP, I applaud you for seeking answers to issues in your life, but you should also poll your friends on this issue as well.
Is the issue that made you seek the advice of a professional relate to your ability/inability to find romance or is it more along the lines of dealing with people?
I find it very very very difficult to believe that a therapist says "You should approach attractive women more often". There must be a LOT more to this that you are telling. How about just being friendly and open to EVERYONE? Not just "approach attractive women"?
^^That's what I was wondering.
There is also a big difference between approaching attractive women versus women you're attracted to. If you can't possibly be attracted to someone who is less than supermodel looks, then that's something else you needs to address with the therapist.
I recently started therapy. I have had anxiety all my life when it comes to dealing with women. Ironically, the therapist is an attractive woman and it made me nervous. However, once I got the trust of my therapist I calmed down. As we talked, she immediately told me that I have Caligynephobia. It is the fear or phobia of attractive women. She told me that I feel that these women are better than me. She said that if I want to get over this phobia that I needed to stop thinking these women are better than me just because they look good. Also, I need to talk to women more. She claimed, we don't bite and we aren't as scary as you think. Then she told me talk to any woman you see even if it just to say hi. Is my therapist right for this?
I would guess the one with the proper credentials that cost so much and took so many years to get educated would be the one to trust regarding this issue, especially since you are paying her.
I would trust her over a bunch of desk chair therapists putting their opinion into words who are random strangers without a face or a name on the internet.
Did you tell your professional therapist that you were going to go home after your session and ask the forum full of non professional non therapist if you should follow her advice?
I would trust the advice of a professional before I would trust the collective advice of strangers.
OP, I applaud you for seeking answers to issues in your life, but you should also poll your friends on this issue as well.
Is the issue that made you seek the advice of a professional relate to your ability/inability to find romance or is it more along the lines of dealing with people?
I find it very very very difficult to believe that a therapist says "You should approach attractive women more often". There must be a LOT more to this that you are telling. How about just being friendly and open to EVERYONE? Not just "approach attractive women"?
I agree. On the other hand it's well know that people are referred to therapists though they don't really need one (not saying this is the case with the OP).
49ersfan... I would follow the advice of your therapist. I know I am not a guy, but I had a lot of fears of talking to men back in the day--similar to what I think you are facing. Mine wasn't as bad as yours though I don't think. Through a combination of what I had to do to be good at work and through self determination, I just started talked to men--no matter what they looked like. In time it really did help. I am not intimidated by men anymore or scared to talk to them. When I was scared and shy, I came across as cold and witchy. Now I come across as warm and friendly. The result is, as a woman, I have "better luck" with men now that I am older (and more outgoing) than I ever did in my 20s when I was supposed to "be in my prime." Everything about me is pretty much the same except I am over that overwhelming shyness and I don't look as young (which is not an asset! lol)
And you have it made! They say men have a longer shelf life (so to speak) and get more appealing as they age. So if it worked that great for me, I imagine it will work out even better for you. So have hope, listen to the professional, and I wish you all the best! And above all, just remember that women are just humans like yourself... we aren't any more special than anyone else. And most of us normal ones don't want to be put on a pedestal... it will hurt when we fall off after all
I never knew women go through this. Just shows I'm not alone.
I would guess the one with the proper credentials that cost so much and took so many years to get educated would be the one to trust regarding this issue, especially since you are paying her.
I would trust her over a bunch of desk chair therapists putting their opinion into words who are random strangers without a face or a name on the internet.
Did you tell your professional therapist that you were going to go home after your session and ask the forum full of non professional non therapist if you should follow her advice?
Well, I went to class after the session. I talked to my female friend and noticed I wasn't really nervous.
Sounds like your therapist is out of touch with reality, or at least your reality assuming you're the typical unattractive, psychologically damaged male who seeks these sorts of services.
This therapist has demonstrated they cannot really understand your struggles in the dating world as an unattractive man, and I think it would be best if you stopped soliciting her services. You might be better served by a therapist who resembles you and can relate with those struggles.
Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT DO WHAT THIS THERAPIST IS SUGGESTING. This is very dangerous behavior that will only end in you being severely depressed and destroying what little self-esteem you have. This will take a great toll on your mental health. No matter how many posts you read stating otherwise, attractive women want nothing to do with you and will be extremely offended that you think you actually have a chance with them and will react accordingly.
I never knew women go through this. Just shows I'm not alone.
LOTS of women go through it. I don't know why men think their shyness and dating difficulties are something peculiar to their gender. It's a human thing.
I understand there are beautiful therapist-type of women who allow shy awkward non-good-looking guys to engage in intimate contact (no intercourse) with them on an appointment basis so that the guys can get comfortable with intimate activity with a beautiful woman.
Does this sound like a good idea for a shy guy to pursue?
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123
Would these places be called massage parlors?
Heavens to Betsy, no!
These are legit therapy sessions run by licensed therapists who hire attractive girls to act as surrogate girlfriends. The idea is to take the awkward, shy guy and put him through "dating' scenarios where he will begin a conversation with the surrogate and then try to lead it to a kissing workout. The sessions are videotaped and analyzed by the therapist who, with feedback from the surrogate on what she found attractive and also distasteful about the guy's style, then advises the guy on how he should fine-tune his approach to meeting girls.
It has had some fantastic success last I heard. The best thing about it, from the TV program I saw best as I can remember, is that it gives the guys who have probably never kissed a girl in their lives, much less one who looks like Sienna Miller, the opportunity to experience in real time making out with a beautiful girl--if he can get her to the point where she wants to.
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