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I think when she said "3", she really meant 300. That would be about an average for attractive girl her age. If you decide not to use protection, I suggest asking for a proof of STD testing, especially if its someone you plan on being in a relationship with.
You feel like a hypocrite, but you shouldn't. You are a man and she is a woman, and even though we seem equal in some peoples eyes, we aren't at all. We have different needs, wants and approaches. We live differently and love differently. Substantial sexual experience is seen as a big plus for a man, but exactly the opposite for a woman. I could tell you why, but we'll save that for another thread.
I know that she hasn't slept with more because she broke down and told me everything. I know one of her roommates and plenty of people that go to her school and they have all told me the same thing. They have also told me that she isn't a wild partier and is quiet, which is the girl I love and fell in love with. She is an unbelievably sweet girl so please don't say anything bad about her. I would defend her for anything and I know she would do the same for me. She would never think of cheating and she knows that I never would. She is shy with sex and I like that about her. Every girl in college is bound to have experiences and cave in here and there. I know her number is low compared to other girls and I like that. I just know her chronic illness probably makes her feel less of herself sometimes. I want to be the one to be there for her and she always tells me how much she appreciates me. I really like this girl
1) If you enjoy sex with her, sit down write now and write a personal thank you note to every man she has ever had sex with in the past. People don't get good at sex by thinking about it. Your obsession with her sexual past is unhealthy and it makes you look weak and pathetic. Like you're afraid you won't measure up to the men from her past. That is a giant turn off for most women.
2) If you are going to successfully have a LDR, especially at your age, you have to drop the idea that you can be monogamous. It will never work. Either agree to an open relationship for now, or agree to a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. It is the only way.
A couple weeks later she decided to tell me everything, which included two college "hookups", one from freshman year and one from sophomore year. The rest were from relationships. I was shocked at this information and took it the wrong way, I have personally had one one-night stand in college.
She is beautiful, understanding, sweet, no?
Her past "hook up" has nothing to do with who she is today. Not like she committed a horrible crime.
Wait till you meet a chick that has been with 20+. There are plenty out there with those numbers. For me, my number is much higher so I kinda take it with a grain of salt, but for you guys that don't have high numbers, dating a chick that has been around must be tough
"The Number" can go many ways.
People usually get freakier as they are longer together. Some of the freaky stuff couples do, there is no turning back from: you have crossed the line of respect to your partner. So the number of partners shouldn't necessarily matter. To me it just means she sampled more and for the present BF that could be 'good or bad'. Maybe a girl that got around couldn't find someone to truly satisfy her and then she found you and now you are dating. Also a girl that "had her fun" will be less likely to want to experiment later on.
Hypothetical: What's worse a girl that had 5 different short term Boyfriends OR a girl that only had 2 partners her short life but it was groupsex with 2 guys?
21 year old college girl from a non-rural area, I would guess the norm is 5-10 partners. Partner being "hand job/finger banging" and everything beyond that.
If that's considered a partner then I've had well beyond that. I guess deep down inside I am scared of commitment because of what has happened in the past. I've talked to a lot of girls and I know this one is different. I just have to stop thinking that what has happened in the past is going to happen again. I've never cared about anything like this before so it's new to me and I know I shouldn't care. Every girl I talked to since 9th grade I knew wasn't a virgin and far from it. I know I just gotta grow up and stop thinking badly or it will ruin and end my relationship. She said she would do anything to help me because she knows how great of a future we can have together so I know she is willing to help, but it's more about me and not her.
Focus on school first and get that degree. Both of you. If you want this to last forever maybe some pre-marital counseling to help you figure out what pages you are both on. You've got to be on the same page. Even if marriage isn't in the equation, it would be a good experience to have a 3rd party sounding board. (my opinion)
Yeah, I completely agree, we have discussed it and are both on board. We are both done with school in the next week and I honestly don't think about anything at all when I'm with her. Just being long distance kind of hurts me because I like having her by my side. Looking forward to getting my degree and getting started at my job. It just bothers me a lot because I know it is my fault, my insecurity about everything has led to this. I am getting better, it just helps to come on here and get others perspectives. I really appreciate all of the help.
So she has already lied about how many partners, has low self esteem, and you're insecure...all while being seniors in college....long distance on top of that. I'm not going to judge...but I will tell you to keep your eyes open and dont be gullible...follow your gut
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