Mid 30s men never married no kids... (engagement, children, 2014)
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That hasn't been my experience, thrillobyte. The VAST majority of guys I know (even as you move younger on the spectrum) want a partner, or at least a decent girlfriend to spend their time with. The problem tends to be that there's no women around that are interested in dating. There's like zero enthusiasm for getting to know people from the other side of the proverbial fence.
When you're looking for "the one" you've got to meet a lot of "not the ones", so it's a recipe for frustration if one of the two genders doesn't want to passionate about the process of finding someone.
That hasn't been my experience, thrillobyte. The VAST majority of guys I know (even as you move younger on the spectrum) want a partner, or at least a decent girlfriend to spend their time with. The problem tends to be that there's no women around that are interested in dating. There's like zero enthusiasm for getting to know people from the other side of the proverbial fence.
When you're looking for "the one" you've got to meet a lot of "not the ones", so it's a recipe for frustration if one of the two genders doesn't want to passionate about the process of finding someone.
Yeah, I tried to convey that but somehow failed to. I know there are good guys, really nice guys who are desperate to get into a relationship with a nice pretty girl (she doesn't even have to be an Erin Heatherton, just nice-looking) but for one reason or another the chemistry thing just does not click.
I was in a situation once where (this is no story) a girl loved me but I didn't love her because I loved another girl who didn't even like me; she bedded me ONLY to make a guy she liked jealous (I found out about this after it was all over). She told him what she had done; he said he couldn't care less because he was in love with another girl who (you guessed it) was not in love with him, she was in love with another guy.
That's a true story, I swear. It was such a stupid situation it was like a cosmic comedy of errors. Everybody was in love with the wrong person.
That sounds very specific, thrillobyte. I'm talking more from the longview on things. I'm 37, have been in a number of short-, medium-, and long-term relationships. Some had nonesne, most didn't. They just didn't work out.
The issue I see more is the general lack of coffee dates. Relationships seem to happen, sex is available if I want to pursue it (or visit my FWB)... however, meeting even a half-dozen new women a year that are LOOKING for a real relationship with the right person is fantasy land territory.
That sounds very specific, thrillobyte. I'm talking more from the longview on things. I'm 37, have been in a number of short-, medium-, and long-term relationships. Some had nonesne, most didn't. They just didn't work out.
The issue I see more is the general lack of coffee dates. Relationships seem to happen, sex is available if I want to pursue it (or visit my FWB)... however, meeting even a half-dozen new women a year that are LOOKING for a real relationship with the right person is fantasy land territory.
I agree. Finding that "right one" that you love and who loves you seems to be harder these days than finding world peace.
That sounds very specific, thrillobyte. I'm talking more from the longview on things. I'm 37, have been in a number of short-, medium-, and long-term relationships. Some had nonesne, most didn't. They just didn't work out.
The issue I see more is the general lack of coffee dates. Relationships seem to happen, sex is available if I want to pursue it (or visit my FWB)... however, meeting even a half-dozen new women a year that are LOOKING for a real relationship with the right person is fantasy land territory.
I agree. I think a lot of women want to party, attention wh*re and sleep around until their options run out. Then they're magically, "beyond all that" and looking for a "real man."
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VinceShamWow
I agree. I think a lot of women want to party, attention wh*re and sleep around until their options run out. Then they're magically, "beyond all that" and looking for a "real man."
Excuse me while I decline that deal.
A lot of men are the same way. Just substitute wife for "real man".
I agree. I think a lot of women want to party, attention wh*re and sleep around until their options run out. Then they're magically, "beyond all that" and looking for a "real man."
Excuse me while I decline that deal.
I think some do and some don't... but all-in there's way more men looking for minimal attachment sex in the younger bracket than women I'm fairly certain... and even at that, studies have shown most of either gender weren't really satisfied with hookup culture in general.
Fast forward to where I'm at (the topic of this thread), mid-to-late 30s, healthy physique, good career and income, no baggage, passions and hobbies, blah-blah-blah... the big sell and all... and there's nothing to be found. My last girlfriend was 23... not by my motives, she chose me. Like I said, the sex is easy. I have a FWB, but I want a companion to spend my time with, to travel and experience the world with. Do 30-something women want to be lonely and shop for future cats on Craigslist or what?
I think some do and some don't... but all-in there's way more men looking for minimal attachment sex in the younger bracket than women I'm fairly certain... and even at that, studies have shown most of either gender weren't really satisfied with hookup culture in general.
Fast forward to where I'm at (the topic of this thread), mid-to-late 30s, healthy physique, good career and income, no baggage, passions and hobbies, blah-blah-blah... the big sell and all... and there's nothing to be found. My last girlfriend was 23... not by my motives, she chose me. Like I said, the sex is easy. I have a FWB, but I want a companion to spend my time with, to travel and experience the world with. Do 30-something women want to be lonely and shop for future cats on Craigslist or what?
They're single for a reason.
Once a woman has reached mid 30's, just imagine all of the men who have made advances toward her, took her on dates, spent money on her, asked her out....blah blah blah. And she's either rejected them all, or the men have rejected her.
Once a woman has reached mid 30's, just imagine all of the men who have made advances toward her, took her on dates, spent money on her, asked her out....blah blah blah. And she's either rejected them all, or the men have rejected her.
These things don't happen in a vacuum.
That's an asine assumption. Many, like myself, haven't found the right relationship, and/or prioritized other things (work, school, self-exploration, relocation, the recession, etc.) People most often figure out relationships and what they want and need in their 20s. Stuff sometimes just doesn't sync sometimes. It's not all rejection and drama. You learn something and move on and hopefully become a better person because of it.
That's an asine assumption. Many, like myself, haven't found the right relationship, and/or prioritized other things (work, school, self-exploration, relocation, the recession, etc.) People most often figure out relationships and what they want and need in their 20s. Stuff sometimes just doesn't sync sometimes. It's not all rejection and drama. You learn something and move on and hopefully become a better person because of it.
You've got some hard lessons to learn.
Good luck!
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