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I've been trying to avoid the issue because she knows my position regarding marriage better than anyone else but if she goes on acting like this I'll have to ask her what's going through her head.
Do you think I should talk with her or just ignore the issue and it'll go away on its own?
Yes.
[nothing of this magnitude really goes away on its own]
Wouldn't you rather find this out now? Or maybe it doesn't matter to you. I guess if you don't want to get married or have children, it might not matter to you if you break up now or 5 years from now - but if she does want to get married and have children - that might make a big difference to her. If you love her - don't you want the best for her whether that includes you or not?
What do you mean exactly? I'm just saying she already knows my position regarding this.
I added to my post:
Quote:
So it sounds like there's no sense in her discussing it with you then. No wonder she's not saying anything, because the only thing she would be telling you is that she's leaving. She hasn't made up her mind yet, that's all.
I'm going to bet the GF was hoping that the relationship would evolve and, having invested 13 years into it, is still hoping it might. Women do this, even when all the flags say no.
As to the OP's position on marriage:
Quote:
It's an institution that might have made sense a few decades ago. It's completely outdated nowadays, totally rotten. It's certainly a good way to ruin a good relationship. There's stats to prove it and all.
Having a uncompromising position about something that could save a relationship you seem to value is going to get you the same result.
He's not the one that's wants marriage. It's her responsibility to be direct with if she wants marriage so badly.
IF she does sure, I think she should talk to him. He has SUSPICIONS that she may want to get married and he should talk to her.
They both should be talking to one another. I'm not going to split hairs on which one of them ultimately should be the one to start, that's unproductive for couples.
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My girlfriend and I have been together for 13 years. We get along very well and I like her not only because she's beautiful and intelligent but because she allows us to keep our own personal spaces. No nagging or trying to control every move. We frequently travel on our own or with friends and go out at night with our own friends. Of course we do that together as well but it doesn't have to be all the time.
We've always lived apart even though we obviously spend weekends and holidays together.
Lately, however, she has been mentioning marriage a lot. I don't know if it's because many of our friends have married in the past 2 years and she's fascinated with that. I've caught her looking at wedding dresses in magazines/the web and if we are guests at a wedding she'll say things like "Isn't that beautiful? Just imagine it was us there."
I've been trying to avoid the issue because she knows my position regarding marriage better than anyone else but if she goes on acting like this I'll have to ask her what's going through her head.
Do you think I should talk with her or just ignore the issue and it'll go away on its own?
Sheesh, if you don't know after 13 years, you never will. Give it up and her dude.
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