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I don't know why you can't understand her point. She's saying that a guy can go from "not" to hot just because of his personality and interests. It's very simple. In fact, it works that way for some men, as well, in their experience with women. Some guys manage to get past the obsession with "hot" and "arm candy", to go for women who would be great companions and mothers to their future kids. Believe it or not.
I totally understand what's she's trying to explain but it's FAR from reality. She's trying to convince these below average to ugly guys [for the most part] something that just isn't true. I believe you know it, and most everybody here, but let's give these poor whiny guys some hope by saying crap like 'be creative, be yourself, love cats and Star Wars" etc.
None of that means nothing if you look like you've been through a dryer full of rocks.
The best chance these whiners have is to bring something significant to the table, something women adore- good looks, status, deep pockets.
The best chance these whiners have is to bring something significant to the table, something women adore- good looks, status, deep pockets.
Disagree. One thing they can bring to the table is an upbeat attitude and some humor. And/or a subtle way of demonstrating that they love women's company. All the money in the world isn't going to help a dull, boring, or whiney guy.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,016,353 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZDesertBrat
I agree with your post but do wonder about some things sometimes.
You know, sometimes I think "love" has got to be the most over used, misused and abused word in the English language. I often wonder just how many people really MEAN it when they say it because I've seen a whole lot of actions that would belie it.
I recall reading several years back a piece that at one point said "Love isn't a feeling, it is an action".
Now, I'm not entirely on board with that, and it was geared toward people in unhealthy relationships (I was studying addiction and co-dependency as I was considering becoming a CADC), but there is a bit of truth to it as well.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,016,353 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moe Szyslak
Sorry, I just had to come back to this post because it made a lightbulb go off in my head. Your advice to men is to "just be yourself." (tm)
Let's examine how your average woman is "just herself" on a daily basis:
-Makeup
-Hair coloring
-Pushup bras
-Hair removal
-Manicures/pedicures/nail painting
-Shapewear to conceal some parts and accentuate others
-Clothes selected for same
I could go on, but you know, why bother?
Well, I'm not into those things... but if they're doing it for themselves and to make themselves happy, then indeed they're being themselves.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moe Szyslak
"Love" is a neurochemical reaction in the brain, not all that different than the dopamine rush of shooting heroin or snorting cocaine.
That is overly simplistic. That is what research has shown to be the emotion we associate with love.
I recall reading several years back a piece that at one point said "Love isn't a feeling, it is an action".
Now, I'm not entirely on board with that, and it was geared toward people in unhealthy relationships (I was studying addiction and co-dependency as I was considering becoming a CADC), but there is a bit of truth to it as well.
I've always thought that love was an 'emotion', like anger, etc.. It also has it stages. At first it's definitely emotion and feeling and, hopefully, continues into the 'action' stage. People in unhealthy relationships NEED to be directed toward the "action" part because most of them are neglectful in that department. Anyone can say, "I love him/her"...that's the easy part. The "actions" of love, not so much sometimes. Depends on the individual and how they mesh as a couple.
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