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And also not expect anything from them. Just because you worked up the nerve to approach doesn't mean you will get what you want, and you need to be okay with that going in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
I, personally, think that is part of treating people like people... as in not treating them like something to acquire, conquer, or get something from. Golden rule stuff. But fair enough
But i also think we are subdividing a bit too much. Remember, the poise and confidence one has will enable that person to approach and retreat in a way that will take care many of the "after-effects" such as dwelling on it not be successful.
Why not quit over analyzing every word, thought and motion and approach someone and introduce yourself. Chat a bit, ask them out and respond appropriately if they say no.
Dating is not that complicated and I cannot figure out why so many want to make it complicated and over dramatic.
But i also think we are subdividing a bit too much. Remember, the poise and confidence one has will enable that person to approach and retreat in a way that will take care many of the "after-effects" such as dwelling on it not be successful.
confidence is overrated.
I remember Michael Buble said in one of his interview that he still has troubles approaching women because every single time you try to show vulnerability to people, you basically taking a risk.
Some people can STILL do it (cold approach), but let's not pretending they are some kind of experts. Nobody is.
Why not quit over analyzing every word, thought and motion and approach someone and introduce yourself. Chat a bit, ask them out and respond appropriately if they say no.
Dating is not that complicated and I cannot figure out why so many want to make it complicated and over dramatic.
Seriously, I don't get it.
If you're talking to someone and you like them.. ask them out. If you don't really like them... don't ask them out.
Why not quit over analyzing every word, thought and motion and approach someone and introduce yourself. Chat a bit, ask them out and respond appropriately if they say no.
Dating is not that complicated and I cannot figure out why so many want to make it complicated and over dramatic.
Because not every is as confident as you to express what you have. Some people would be afraid to offend the OP. And as the OP, he or she may not have the confidence to quote and respond to a poster like you with such confidence.
Which brings me to another element I may need to add- the understanding of how to relate and read people, and when to choose battles, or in the case of this thread- approaching, in order to avoid conflict or unnecessary negative atmosphere and rejection.
If you're talking to someone and you like them.. ask them out. If you don't really like them... don't ask them out.
This is a random approach thread and that is why you don't get it. We haven't even gotten to the point where the two are having a conversation. That is a totally different area that comes with personality and other elements.
That is why you don't get it- you are too many steps ahead and not employing (poise as nila jones added). You are too emotionally involved and blurting out without thinking. This thread is the "you are on line and you see a stunner". Not, "as you are hitting it off". Not the same….
If................you're................ talking................ to................ someone................ and ................you................ like................ them.. ask................ them out. ................If ................you don't................ really................ like ................them................... don't ................ask................ them ................out.
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