Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ok so my girlfreind of 18 months just broke up with me for smoking hookah.. Okay its a dealbreaker for her, but what I dont get is that she knew I smoked before we even first started dating. I only do it every once in a while, im not addicted or anything. And knowing that, she still dated me for a year and a half. 2 months ago we got in a big argument because of it, and i promised her ill stop. But recently I ended up doing it again, and I told her about it myself and she got hella mad and is like im not dating a smoker, you lied to me, you promised youll stop.
...
This is not about smoking. This is about making a committment and remaining committed.
Smart girl. If you lied to her about that one thing what would you lie about next ? Trust is the cornerstone of every relationship, and you broke that trust. Plus, that habit is REALLY disgusting.
Don
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie
You like hookah more than your relationship. That's the problem.
Besides, if you're having trouble with this issue, I imagine there are several others you're not even aware of.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yiuppy
You made a promise and then betrayed it. Of course she's out. She was just dealing with it hoping you'd quit up until then, but the hookah smoking is more important to you than her obviously. Not sure why you're upset about it. You got what you wanted - you get to keep your hookah smoking habit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick
Not liking you smoking... strike one.
You lying about it... strike two.
Apparently she did not to wait for the third strike; she just got you out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123
You promised her you would stop, You didn't.
You where well aware she had an issue with your smoking or you wouldn't have had to lie in the first place.
You created your own issue....enjoy your self made problems
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletG
You knew it was a deal breaker for her...she gave you a chance and some time...and you still goofed up. She did the right thing.
Grow up and learn. Give up the smoking....she's right....it's very unattractive and disgusting. My husband and I have been married for over 20 years....and smoking has been a deal breaker since day one for both of us.
These threads and their reactions based on gender are always really interesting to me.
If the post is about a male and his lying, whether it be about his past, hookah, or a promise, the focus is always on his lying and why he's wrong and she should leave.
Now flip the script. If the post is about a woman and her lying (especially about her past), the focus again is on his issues. His insecurity or what he did to make her feel she had to lie. Rarely is the focus on the fact that she lied, or in this situation, that she is blowing something way out of proportion (if people actually took the time to understand what hookah is and not blow up with a negative reaction when they hear the buzz word "smoking").
Most threads I see where a woman lies about something small, the advice to the guy is to think about if he really loves her enough to forgive and move on. Here, it's "you messed up, you're done, cya."
Herb
Blunt
Roach
MJ..Mary Jane
Weed
Pot
Dope
Refer
ZIG
Cigarette :
Smoke
Puffy
Coffin Nail
Cancer Stick
"Drugs"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead Man Walking
If indeed it was used for tobacco, the OP should have said so. Even E-cigs are nicotine......it may be misleading.
Even so, "those" kinds of pipes and devices are commonly considered "drug" paraphernalia and treated as such. Get stopped sometime and try explaining what that clear straw with the burnt residue is used for. You'll see why and what I am talking about.
IMO, the Ops girlfriend bailed because she didn't like being around unlawful substances.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead Man Walking
Smoke a big fatty for Matty. lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead Man Walking
Kinda like all the people who just 'love' the smell of burning incense and candles all the time for which I enter their homes on short notice. Uh, yeah...ok....whatever you are into.
What's all these snacks and crap laying out on the counter and table for anyways?
Oh, you're VERY hungry....I understand that much!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead Man Walking
Old boy got dumped cuz he smokes dope, NOT tobacco....
Dude. You are the only one ignorantly pressing the marijuana angle.
Smoking hookah is not unlawful, nor is it marijuana. When you smoke hookah, you are smoking flavored tobacco. It does not get you high, and is completely legal.
Most hookah smokers consider it a novelty, and partake once a month if one happens to be around.
Stop. You are dumbing down the entire thread with misinformation.
Dude. You are the only one ignorantly pressing the marijuana angle.
Smoking hookah is not unlawful, nor is it marijuana. When you smoke hookah, you are smoking flavored tobacco. It does not get you high, and is completely legal.
Most hookah smokers consider it a novelty, and partake once a month if one happens to be around.
Stop. You are dumbing down the entire thread with misinformation.
True man, hookah bars, clubs, and lounges are common in my city.. It's a social thing. I don't smoke tobacco, though I have smoked weed in a hookah before lol. ...But I do agree w/ everyone who said the OP shouldn't have promised not to smoke if he wasn't going to stop.
These threads and their reactions based on gender are always really interesting to me.
If the post is about a male and his lying, whether it be about his past, hookah, or a promise, the focus is always on his lying and why he's wrong and she should leave.
Now flip the script. If the post is about a woman and her lying (especially about her past), the focus again is on his issues. His insecurity or what he did to make her feel she had to lie. Rarely is the focus on the fact that she lied, or in this situation, that she is blowing something way out of proportion (if people actually took the time to understand what hookah is and not blow up with a negative reaction when they hear the buzz word "smoking").
Most threads I see where a woman lies about something small, the advice to the guy is to think about if he really loves her enough to forgive and move on. Here, it's "you messed up, you're done, cya."
Dude. You are the only one ignorantly pressing the marijuana angle.
Smoking hookah is not unlawful, nor is it marijuana. When you smoke hookah, you are smoking flavored tobacco. It does not get you high, and is completely legal.
Most hookah smokers consider it a novelty, and partake once a month if one happens to be around.
Stop. You are dumbing down the entire thread with misinformation.
Thank you. I grew up in a muslim country where hanging out and smoking hookah (or shisha) was akin to going out to the bar with your mates and watching the game. You can put other drugs such as hashish in the pipe but the vast majority of the time it is nothing more than tobacco. Funnily enough, people get worked up over the idea of smoking weed but alcohol and tobacco are far more lethal drugs.
Hookah is just the pipe. Shisha is the flavored tobacco. Smoking weed/hash out of a hookah isn't uncommon, even if that isn't the intended use of the thing, so it shouldn't come as a huge surprise if some people are assuming the OP is talking about marijuana.
Back to the OP: if you're only an occasional smoker, you're not physically addicted. Which means you made a genuine choice to go smoke despite telling her you wouldn't. Which means you prioritized a brief pleasure over being honest and trustworthy. That's not the kind of person one wants to date long-term.
Thank you. I grew up in a muslim country where hanging out and smoking hookah (or shisha) was akin to going out to the bar with your mates and watching the game. You can put other drugs such as hashish in the pipe but the vast majority of the time it is nothing more than tobacco. Funnily enough, people get worked up over the idea of smoking weed but alcohol and tobacco are far more lethal drugs.
I'd probably quit smoking because smoking isn't good.. but I wouldn't quit for a girl.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
...But I do agree w/ everyone who said the OP shouldn't have promised not to smoke if he wasn't going to stop.
