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I began working for this guy (my boss) a few months ago. We are both in our 20's. When I first began working for him a few months back, he was SUPER friendly and nice to me. Smiled at me all the time, said hi to me every single day. I developed a crush on him just because he was being so nice and giving me attention I guess.
He is a very outgoing extravert. I am a very quiet, introverted female. Problem with this is that because I am pretty (not cocky about it) but socially inept and quiet, people mistake this for me being a "b^tch". They don't expect someone who looks a certain way to have a hard time socializing which I do. So they automatically assume I am quiet because I am rude or because I am a snob.
Anyway, I began to notice these past few months that he stopped being so nice to me. He no longer smiles at me, when I look at him he avoids eye contact and looks away. He ignores me. And I know he is offended because I don't talk to him. My co worker told me that he was talking to him and made a remark about how I never talk to him. I feel like he is personally offended/insulted that I don't talk to him and is taking it out on me. I know I'm really sensitive but it hurts that he used to be really nice and friendly to me and now for no reason he ignores me, looks away, and acts angry all because I am quiet. It's like he is personally offended and angry at me for being quiet.
I don't know if he ever had a crush on me. I thought he did in the beginning because he was so friendly but then again he is an extravert and just a friendly guy in general. But I think it is beyond weird and abnormal for him to be so damn offended that I don't talk to him. If he didn't have at least a slight crush on me, I don't see why he'd care so much that I am quiet. Either way I'll never know.
I just wanted to get a guys perspective on this. Has you ever dealt with something like this?
They can be tricky. A lot of those I ran into were actually more experienced and more out there than the bad/loud girls. Quiet girls have a discretion, a politeness to them but do not confuse that with thinking that there will not be any issues or with inexperience. It is a different femininity.
They can be tricky. A lot of those I ran into were actually more experienced and more out there than the bad/loud girls. Quiet girls have a discretion, a politeness to them but do not confuse that with thinking that there will not be any issues or with inexperience. It is a different femininity.
This gets the MOST INSIGHTFUL POST award for the week! +10
You shouldn't be worrying about these things in relation to your boss. He shouldn't be flirting with you, and you shouldn't want him to. Just be businesslike, and do your job.
I was thinking the same exact thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hotcoldbaby
If you're not going to answer the question, don't bother replying.
Just do your job and stop worrying about it, just be polite and "business cordial"
The responses here aren't what I expected. I completely get what she was talking about and didn't think it was a stupid question, or that she should just forget about it. I've been in the same situation with a coworker. She started talking to me and it went well, but I've never been big on initiating conversations and she took offense when I wouldn't stop to talk to her. It was more that I didn't know what to say so I avoided the awkwardness. I've learned how to deal with those situations better since then, but I know what it's like.
I actually really like introverted girls because we understand each other. I have people judge me for not being loud and talkative all the time (or say I'm boring), but I have much more interesting things going on in my brain than they seem to have. I actually feel comfortable talking to introverted girls more than extroverted ones because I know she won't need incessant talking to keep her interest. We have a certain connection from dealing with people who don't understand us.
I never cared for shy/introverted/whatever girls. Yeah, some may be all great and everything "once you get to know them", but there's a ton of other women out there with the same qualities that you can talk to without it feeling like work.
I know it's not ACTUALLY the case, but it FEELS like those kinds of women (shy, etc.) are behaving in a stereotypical "wait for the guy to pursue ME" kind of way...and that's a massive turn off for me. It's so much smoother (converationally, romantically, intellectually) to interact with someone who's outgoing.
That shy, introverted girl sent me one HECK of a DM.
I have to say, NOT as advertised....
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