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Old 05-15-2014, 11:50 AM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,324,788 times
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This whole standards and leagues deal...

I have found that keeping an open mind and open eyes for someone who finds you attractive works better. In my experience, women that were attracted to me were often more attractive than I would have ever dreamed about pursuing. Even the ones that aren't all that attractive (yet they are still attractive), I find myself attracted to them. If we have something beautiful, then it is all good.

I found myself surprised at what I was attracted to.

What I am saying is don't lower your standards, open your mind and your eyes. There is someone who is attracted to you. If not, then find out why and do what you can to fix it.

I believe that almost anyone who makes the necessary effort to bring the best out of themselves (get in reasonable shape, expand their minds, etc) can really attract someone worthwhile.

I believe physical beauty is more influenced by what is in a person's soul (mind, will, and emotions) than we (even I) realize.

Last edited by TJenkins602; 05-15-2014 at 12:05 PM..
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Old 05-15-2014, 11:51 AM
 
4,038 posts, read 4,851,446 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post


This whole standards and leagues deal...

I have found that keeping an open mind and open eyes for someone who finds you attractive works better. In my experience, women that were attracted to me were often more attractive than I would have ever dreamed about pursuing. Even the ones that aren't all that attractive (yet they are still attractive), I find myself attracted to them. If we have something beautiful, then it is all good.

I found myself surprised at what I was attracted to.

What I am saying is don't lower your standards, open your mind and your eyes. There is someone who is attracted to you. If not, then find out why and do what you can to fix it.

I believe that almost anyone who makes the necessary effort to bring the best out of themselves (get in reasonable shape, expand their minds, etc) can really attract someone worthwhile.

I believe physical beauty is more influenced by what is in a person's soul (mind, will, and emotions) than we (even I) realize.
DU-U-UDE! Well said!
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Old 05-15-2014, 05:51 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 58,901,044 times
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
OP has never answered this question. I've heard of cases where men lowered their standards on looks, and discovered wonderful personalities with happy marriages being the result. So the lowering of some standards and not others could pay off.
Are these men who were 45 and over? Because I can't see a man who is 25-35 making that type of decision
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Old 05-15-2014, 06:01 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,402,364 times
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Originally Posted by FBJ View Post
Are these men who were 45 and over? Because I can't see a man who is 25-35 making that type of decision
One was a year or two out of college. Another was a successful businessman in his 30's, who his friends all expected to pick a trophy wife. I don't know about the other 2 cases. What the first two had in common was they kept going for the trophies, but were unhappy with the "high maintenance" personalities that came with the package. They decided to shift their focus, and were delighted with the results. The first one went for a pudgy girl who turned out to be really sweet, and the other one decided to check out a plain/average colleague who did business with his office, and found someone who was nurturing and supportive. Marriage resulted. The second guy had to dump his friends, because they kept telling him he could have done better. They couldn't understand his choice. In their eyes, he "settled". He said he'd struck gold, though.

Not all 25-35 year-old guys think alike, you know. They're not all made from the same mold.
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Old 05-15-2014, 06:11 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
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I can see being flexible with weight but definitely not face
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Old 05-15-2014, 06:13 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,518,790 times
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I had low standards and it worked. I got exactly what I asked for. Now I keep them high and unreasonable.
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Old 05-15-2014, 06:24 PM
 
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Originally Posted by FBJ View Post
I can see being flexible with weight but definitely not face
Different people will have diff priorities. Some will compromise on certain things, others will be flexible on others. It's more a matter of adjusting your standards, and prioritizing them. Each person will have their own take on that.
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Old 05-15-2014, 06:30 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 58,901,044 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbiePoster View Post
Different people will have diff priorities. Some will compromise on certain things, others will be flexible on others. It's more a matter of adjusting your standards, and prioritizing them. Each person will have their own take on that.
I have to aim higher so I can atleast get someone acceptable. In looks I aim for someone who is a 85 in looks but if I get a 75 with a nice personality I would accept it. Now if I aim for a 75 I may only end up with a 65 which is never acceptable lol
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Old 05-15-2014, 11:56 PM
 
647 posts, read 1,519,448 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
One was a year or two out of college. Another was a successful businessman in his 30's, who his friends all expected to pick a trophy wife. I don't know about the other 2 cases. What the first two had in common was they kept going for the trophies, but were unhappy with the "high maintenance" personalities that came with the package. They decided to shift their focus, and were delighted with the results. The first one went for a pudgy girl who turned out to be really sweet, and the other one decided to check out a plain/average colleague who did business with his office, and found someone who was nurturing and supportive. Marriage resulted. The second guy had to dump his friends, because they kept telling him he could have done better. They couldn't understand his choice. In their eyes, he "settled". He said he'd struck gold, though.

Not all 25-35 year-old guys think alike, you know. They're not all made from the same mold.

Yeah, when I say high standards I guess I just mean someone I find attractive. Whereas lower standards would be someone I'm not attracted to AT ALL.
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Old 05-16-2014, 05:09 AM
 
4,038 posts, read 4,851,446 times
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Originally Posted by simon22 View Post
Yeah, when I say high standards I guess I just mean someone I find attractive. Whereas lower standards would be someone I'm not attracted to AT ALL.
Good to finally get feedback to my question about: which standards are you lowering. If it's only looks, what problems are you having? What do you mean, "it's hard to find someone" if you lower your standards a little? And--you far are you lowering them?
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