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I've dated someone in the past who made less money than me and I wouldn't do it again because it put a lot of financial pressure on me and as a woman, I believe the financial strain and responsibility should be on the man in the relationship so whomever I'm with in the future will need to make more money than me. Point blank: I'm looking for financial security in a long term relationship and don't believe I can secure that with someone who makes less money than me.
As a fairly middle class guy, I don't even think I'd want to marry into money. I mean, if I met someone I really liked and it was the same way then obviously that'd be different.. but I wouldn't necessarily look for a rich girl or someone outside of my social class. I'm not even sure I'd fit in with huge millionaires.
I'm sure someday I'll have a good amount of money, but I'd rather make that money with someone who also is middle class and get there by earning it instead of just marrying in.
I always thought that it would a negative if I fell in love with a guy who made significantly more than me, or "came" from money. The perceived power imbalance bothers me somewhat. Which is odd, because I don't view anything in my marriage as "power" related. Nor do I view romantic relationships as an issue of power.
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Women who make absolutely nothing can land a man who makes ridiculous amounts if she is pretty and somewhat educated.
Women who make average to decent salaries (50K-100K) want a man who makes at least what they make, preferably more.
But after a certain point, making a crapload of $ as a woman becomes almost an obstacle for her. If a woman makes like 200K, then:
1) It's going to be very hard to find a man who makes that much period. Men generally do not expect women to make as much or more.
2) Men generally feel emasculated if women make very much more than they do.
3) Some of the few men who do make that much will prefer looks over success.
So, there it is. I would say it works in womens' favor except for the extremely wealthy ones.
I know a woman who makes a ridiculous amount of $ (~350K) who is not that pretty and I think she'd have better odds in the dating game if she were a schoolteacher for the above reasons.
I know this is a minority class, but if you look at most of the famous rich male athletes, celebs, singers, etc basically men of wealth and status, most of the women they pair up with do not make anywhere near the same amount of money the men do. Also if they tend to marry young, it's almost a given that the next woman they marry is much younger and not financially well to do. I'm not going to bother giving examples as there are tons out there.
While I know these types of men are not the norm, I love using them as examples because when you have so much choice as these guys do, they always tend to go for pretty younger women. They do not care about how much she makes, only that they look good. Economic class is not a factor.
That's much more a factor of old money vs. new money. Besides, you also have examples like the wives of Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Warren Buffett, Charles Koch ... Larry Ellison and David Koch, okay.
Sports stars and the hot celebrities of the moment are small potatoes in comparison.
I've had problems with dating and I am pretty successful at work/have a great job. But I don't think my problems have to do with my success so much as my success just not being important to a lot of men. It's not a negative, but it does nothing to help me either.
By the way, as I reflect on it, I think my lack of success is due to lack of time. My job has regular hours--so that's not the issue (alone). But the rest of my personal life, while very fulfilled is also busy between family, friends, working out, taking care of my house, volunteering, etc, so I just don't have time to date more than 3-4 days a month (at least, just starting out and meeting someone. I only date "out" early on, not taking a stranger back to my house. If I knew someone longer and was comfortable with it, I wouldn't mind date nights in just cooking dinner and watching TV together). Anyway, seems like a lot of men need more time than that early on and the ones who are willing to put up with it are not really what I am looking for (jerks and crazies... the ones no other women will date). At least, that's the idea I am tossing around my head now.
Although income doesn't seem to fall into that. The dating sites I used didn't give income or anything like that. Last guy I tried to date, all I knew occupation-wise is he worked in a department store. He could have been a clerk, manager, or accountant for the store for all I knew. I never asked. He did the "fading" "ghosting" thing on me.
1. You are attributing your dating life to online dating sites.
If your entire dating life revolves around dating sites, you are not gonna get much results. Why not go out and just talk to men in real life?
2. If you know your lack of success, then why not change that? Unless you are unwilling to change it, which then means you are ok with your dating life and dating results.
Superficiality is what it is... it's hardly noble or anything, but if you're interested in how someone looks at the very least you're looking for a human quality that probably indicates good genes. If all you care about is money, then you're not even looking for another person-- you just want things.
So if you only want to be with someone because of her looks your looking for a human quality, being they are genetically superior and thus your children will have a better chance of receiving superior genes. But if your interested in someone's ability to provide a secure future (income), indicating intelligence and ambition so your children will have a secure future, your a prostitute? Ok then.
I've dated someone in the past who made less money than me and I wouldn't do it again because it put a lot of financial pressure on me and as a woman, I believe the financial strain and responsibility should be on the man in the relationship so whomever I'm with in the future will need to make more money than me. Point blank: I'm looking for financial security in a long term relationship and don't believe I can secure that with someone who makes less money than me.
I know this is a minority class, but if you look at most of the famous rich male athletes, celebs, singers, etc basically men of wealth and status, most of the women they pair up with do not make anywhere near the same amount of money the men do. Also if they tend to marry young, it's almost a given that the next woman they marry is much younger and not financially well to do. I'm not going to bother giving examples as there are tons out there.
While I know these types of men are not the norm, I love using them as examples because when you have so much choice as these guys do, they always tend to go for pretty younger women. They do not care about how much she makes, only that they look good. Economic class is not a factor.
Just like the topic divorces, using the rich and famous is not a good measuring stick for the average joe.
Speaking of which, these guys that marry young, economically challenged women seem to be the ones that get looted in divorce. Coincidence?
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Nor do I view romantic relationships as an issue of power.
