Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If two people aren't married and have kids they are simply Baby Mama and Baby Daddy. (God, how I HATE those terms ! )
Don
I use them to designate between those married with kids and those without. When I did online dating while I never dated divorced dads I thought they were higher class than baby daddies, especially baby daddies with multiple kids (and there were many like this).
I want kids but so far not really keen on marriage. I've yet to find a women who I truly trust enough and love enough to marry. I think marriage is heavily slanted to favor the women in most ways. Granted I'd still have to pay child support if things went south with a women I had a kid with but at least no alimony for some chick to sit on her ass and live off me. I think many men my age are realizing marriage offers nothing for us and opens up many risks and problems.
True. This is mostly a lower class welfare thing, not a middle or upper class thing.
Unfortunately, it is now more than just a lower class thing. It has engulfed what some would call the working class (aka "lower middle class") and has crept into the middle class as well. Something like 41% of kids are now born out of wedlock in the USA.
A lifestyle once associated with poverty has become mainstream. The only group of parents for whom marriage continues to be the norm is the college-educated.
I also wanted to point out that the reason there is less stigma in countries like Sweden is because the couples, while unmarried tend to stay together. In the USA more often than not dad leaves the family and mom raises the kids alone on welfare.
Yes, I said something similar. And the article I linked backs this up (at least as far as what's happening in the USA).
....cohabiting parents split up before their fifth anniversary at about twice the rate of married parents. Often, this is because the father moves on, leaving the mother not just with less support but with fewer marriage prospects....
I want kids but so far not really keen on marriage. I've yet to find a women who I truly trust enough and love enough to marry. I think marriage is heavily slanted to favor the women in most ways. Granted I'd still have to pay child support if things went south with a women I had a kid with but at least no alimony for some chick to sit on her ass and live off me. I think many men my age are realizing marriage offers nothing for us and opens up many risks and problems.
Marriage & kids opens up lots of risks and problems for all parties involved. Marriage is a big deal. Having kids is an even bigger deal. This is nothing new.
And by the way, marriage offers A LOT to men; although men typically don't see that until after they marry.
Men who get married & stay married tend to be happier, live longer, earn more, and have more wealth/savings...just for starters.
So, if you don't want to take risk, that's fine. Just don't have a kid. That is the riskiest thing of all. And as has already been established, raising a kid in 2 separate households is not good for you or your kid.
I want kids but so far not really keen on marriage. I've yet to find a women who I truly trust enough and love enough to marry. I think marriage is heavily slanted to favor the women in most ways. Granted I'd still have to pay child support if things went south with a women I had a kid with but at least no alimony for some chick to sit on her ass and live off me. I think many men my age are realizing marriage offers nothing for us and opens up many risks and problems.
But you trust them to have kids with them? Doesn't make any sense. If you can't trust someone completely to marry them why on earth would you want to have kids with them?
As for alimony, why is that the woman's fault only that your marriage ended? That's just nuts. If you don't want divorce then stop being selfish or an A-hole. LOL.
Also not all married couple has kids. I sure will not. My husband doesn't want one. I want to but ... long story. NVM.
People are confusing unrelated situations. People here seem to think not getting married means not committed and dedicated to each other
No, we're not confused. We do think not getting married=not committed. Even one of the poster's on this thread who's currently living with someone admitted that living together isn't the same level of commitment as being married.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
whereas it often means just not wanting or needing the State to recognize their relationship.
We're calling BS on that statement.
I don't personally care what people do when kids aren't involved. But when they are, it's a whole different story. The evidence is overwhelming that kids do better in married, two parent families. People who want to deny that are the same kind of people who point out how their Aunt Bertha lived to age 90 and died in her sleep even though she smoked a pack of cigarettes a day....They're looking for the few exceptions to the rule to justify their point of view/way of doing things.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticaltyger
No, we're not confused. We do think not getting married=not committed.
You do, you mean, there are women that do not.
There are gay couples that never get married (they couldn't) and have been together for decades. Are they less committed because they don't have a piece of paper from the State? Of course not, to say so is downright insulting to their love. Plenty of these people can get married now (and more than ever, which is great) but choose not to because they don't see the need. Are they less committed than before their state allowed marriage? No, again, of course not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticaltyger
We're calling BS on that statement.
I don't personally care what people do when kids aren't involved. But when they are, it's a whole different story. The evidence is overwhelming that kids do better in married, two parent families. People who want to deny that are the same kind of people who point out how their Aunt Bertha lived to age 90 and died in her sleep even though she smoked a pack of cigarettes a day....They're looking for the few exceptions to the rule to justify their point of view/way of doing things.
We? You're speaking for yourself.
Where is the evidence that kids do better in married, two parent families compared to the children in non married two parent families? Never seen it. Please provide some.
I don't want to have kids. If I did, I would want to get married. That is me. I know plenty of people that don't have those views and have raised great kids and been together 20+ years (some 40+) without getting married. They never saw the need. That is their business.
Unfortunately, it is now more than just a lower class thing. It has engulfed what some would call the working class (aka "lower middle class") and has crept into the middle class as well. Something like 41% of kids are now born out of wedlock in the USA.
A lifestyle once associated with poverty has become mainstream. The only group of parents for whom marriage continues to be the norm is the college-educated.
are you saying all this ^ can be avoided by getting married?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
