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Yes it is unfair but pregnancy and childbirth are unfair for the woman.
Well, as I said to myself, "I should have thought of that before I decided to screw that guy without protection."
More women need to get some damn personal responsibility. There are two of us screwing. If I don't want an accidental pregnancy, I get on birth control and make him use condoms as well.
Well, as I said to myself, "I should have thought of that before I decided to screw that guy without protection."
More women need to get some damn personal responsibility. There are two of us screwing. If I don't want an accidental pregnancy, I get on birth control and make him use condoms as well.
But it's the same for guys. If he didn't want to get a woman pregnant, he shouldn't be screwing without protection. And a man that doesn't want kids can easily get a vasectomy, and it's alot more simple than the surgery women have to get. I am aware of tube tying, but I think you have to have 3 kids before you can get that done.
Some say "I want kids later." Having sperm frozen works for that, then he can still get the Vasectomy. Men have some leeway in things like this.
If I were the girlfriend I would be shocked but not mad.
Did you tell her you had been thinking of that child? You remembered his birthday, to me that says you have not blocked him from your life. She should at least consider that.
Let her calm down and then talk things out rationally. Perhaps she is feeling "What if I got pregnant? Would he leave me too?" What would you do? Maybe you need to reassure her that you wouldn't leave her because you have a long-term relationship.
I happen to agree with you regarding mothers and their bodies. It seems really unfair to me that we can get pregnant, then make the final decision regarding our bodies without the man having a decision at all. I believe if my partner doesn't want to have the child, and I decide to keep the baby, then it is totally on me to raise it, with no support from the father. He made his choice and I made mine.
Well this guy actually made the choice of potentially becoming a father when he slept with the woman.
Of course whoever raises the baby should get support from the other party.....otherwise you have the taxpayers subsiding more than they already do.
Well, as I said to myself, "I should have thought of that before I decided to screw that guy without protection."
More women need to get some damn personal responsibility. There are two of us screwing. If I don't want an accidental pregnancy, I get on birth control and make him use condoms as well.
That's why it's unfair. Both sexes can be careless but the woman has a lot more to lose while the guy can just chose to walk away. Of course on the whole women tend to be more careful about sex but this is due to social conditioning, not a packaged deal that came with their physical traits.
But it's the same for guys. If he didn't want to get a woman pregnant, he shouldn't be screwing without protection. And a man that doesn't want kids can easily get a vasectomy, and it's alot more simple than the surgery women have to get. I am aware of tube tying, but I think you have to have 3 kids before you can get that done.
Some say "I want kids later." Having sperm frozen works for that, then he can still get the Vasectomy. Men have some leeway in things like this.
You're right -- it's the same for guys. Til the girl gets pregnant. Then all of a sudden it's only up to her. He has no choice in the matter. She is gonna do what she wants.
In my case, he wanted me to have an abortion. I said no, and we broke up. The end. It's that simple.
You're right -- it's the same for guys. Til the girl gets pregnant. Then all of a sudden it's only up to her. He has no choice in the matter. She is gonna do what she wants.
In my case, he wanted me to have an abortion. I said no, and we broke up. The end. It's that simple.
A man doesn't have to raise the kid. But most do think he should pay child support at least. Now if you don't care about that, it's fine.
But what about men. if they don't want kids, they have the choice to run away and get off without trouble. So a guy can get 30 women pregnant, and not care because he didn't want kids.
So, I stand by it being a chain reaction. If a man doesn't want kids, get fixed. Then what a pregnant woman does has nothing to do with him, because if he's fixed, he didn't do it.
It may seem unfair to men, but paying financial aid is just the least that could be done, and a decent thing to do.Even if he didn't want the kid, he still helped make it.
I could say it's unfair that men sleep around and it's fine. But women that do it are considered whores, and guys that know a woman is active only find her good for sex, then dump her. I see that alot, but nobody seems to think anything of it.
With pregnancy men have a choice to run away all together. But if a woman wants to keep her baby, then she deserves hardship, to suffer, or have it all on her because she loved her child.
So, it's not like being a man doesn't have it's own advantages. This just may not be one of them. From trivial to important every race and gender has it's own advantages and disadvantages.
But I find it perfectly fine to at least want child support. Now if a woman doesn't care, like you, then that's great and fine. But I don't find it horrible if other women do care, and at least want that. Because the man, whether he wanted kids or not, did contribute to the pregnancy, and choice to have sex either without protection, or a Vasectomy. I find it unfair that a man sleeps with a woman, then expects her to just throw the child away, or have them run off.
It won't kill to pay child support. And that's a small price for being able to not see the kid, deal with them, or raise them at all--and still having all the freedom he had before he donated the sperm.
However, some places men do have a choice to sign away paternity rights. So, there's something. And it's not all on women. Some men have said they find the OP to be scum. So, not like men don't share that thought.
It's like a double standard that women hitting men isn't as bad as men hitting women. I believe there should be no hitting, and a man has a right to hit back if attacked. But my father thinks a man hitting a woman isn't a man, no matter what. My mother has pissed him off to extremes, and may hit other things, but thus far, hasn't hit her. He just leaves and calms down.
That's a double standard, but even some men agree with it.
Last edited by HappyRain; 05-20-2014 at 01:15 PM..
Geez! you guys make me sick, Talk about sexist, politically correct hypocritical garbage. Can't anyone think on there own anymore?
No one really cares about responsibility because its the right thing to do or whats best for our children, people care about responsibility only because they don't want to pay higher taxes etc for other peoples irresponsibility. To be honest, i doubt anyone would give a hoot about deadbeat dads or the children if some politician didn't point out the money spent on welfare etc. RESPONSIBILITY! give me a break! We live in a country that about 50% or more of marriages end in divorce (68.9% are filed by you my sisters). In one year for child adoption Private domestic, 677,000 (38 percent); foster care, 661,000 (37 percent); international, 440,000 (25 percent), thats more then a million kids a year in this country and most unmarried single mothers.
I agree being a deadbeat dad is sick, but just as ugly is what we read here.
I agree being a deadbeat dad is sick, but just as ugly is what we read here. Not once did i read about how its a mans responsibility to raise a child emotionally and guide them in life, its money, money, money. In 2010, 1.3 million child support orders were established in this country (One year!) Thats 1.3 million parents not living with there children to guide and support etc.
In conclusion, the responsibility and commitment arguement is a joke, the stats, our society and laws prove it.
Already told my parents. My mother was horrified I did what I did and even cried. She says she would be so happy to have a grandchild around. My father scolded me like I was 5 and told me to contact the boy's mother right away because she has to be compensated.
I agree being a deadbeat dad is sick, but just as ugly is what we read here. Not once did i read about how its a mans responsibility to raise a child emotionally and guide them in life, its money, money, money. In 2010, 1.3 million child support orders were established in this country (One year!) Thats 1.3 million parents not living with there children to guide and support etc.
In conclusion, the responsibility and commitment arguement is a joke, the stats, our society and laws prove it.
You cant legislate morality. You cant force a parent to parent but you can force them to foot the bill.
I agree in this county the only reason the legislature backs child support laws is due to the burden on the taxpayers. I still remember when there was no legal recourse for getting a deadbeat parent to help support their child.
Originally Poor Laws (1733) required both parent support their illegitimate children but apparently it was too difficult to force the fathers to pay or keep them incarcerated so parishes ended up footing the bill. They believed this was too expensive and encouraged illegitimacy so they established the bastardy clause (1834) which absolved fathers from and financial obligations which led to baby farming, dead babies and finally the moral outcry.
Quote:
RESPONSIBILITY! give me a break! We live in a country that about 50% or more of
marriages end in divorce (68.9% are filed by you my sisters).
This has been debated to death and established that the 50% stat is not correct and the one filing is usually not the one that ended the marriage.
Quote:
In one year for
child adoption Private domestic, 677,000 (38 percent);
foster care, 661,000 (37
percent); international, 440,000 (25 percent),
thats more then a million kids a
year in this country and most unmarried
single mothers.
I have no idea what this means.
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