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At least it's honest. If you don't want to deal with someone else's kids, then just say so. But don't try to hide behind the "must not have baggage" BS.
Every single person on earth has baggage whether it's emotional or material.
Now, the key is to prevent the past from interfering with the present. Some people usually fail at this because they never fully recovered from the situation, in which case, they shouldn't even be dating at all.
Now, the key is to prevent the past from interfering with the present. Some people usually fail at this because they never fully recovered from the situation, in which case, they shouldn't even be dating at all.
How do you decide if someone is fully recovered? The reason I ask is because people, at least among the 35+ crowd, are quick to assign the "bitter" or "still has issues" label. They meet someone of the opposite sex who's more cautious or not as excited about dating as someone in their 20s and they automatically think this person has stuff they're still working out. But are they really? If you've been in a few failed relationships or a failed marriage, you're naturally going to be reluctant to get back into another one. If you were betrayed by someone you trusted, you're going to be more guarded about who you let into to your life. And if you had one marriage already go bust, you might not be as ready to make a commitment again. None of this strikes me as abnormal. And yet, I see both men and women label such people as "not ready to date."
I consider "baggage" to be the sum of the unpleasant things external to a relationship that one has to deal with in order to be with a person that they care about. Unpleasant is in the eye of the beholder to some extent, though. What one person might consider serious baggage, another person might find trivial.
I feel that my fiancee and I both brought very small amounts of baggage into our relationship, with me having a bit more than her, but since we are attracted and compatible in so many different ways, the baggage is not all that significant. The big thing is that I was previously married. While it doesn't affect the core of our relationship, there are annoying loose ends such as the fact that we still occasionally get mail addressed to my ex, one of my elderly relatives calls her my ex's name, and a few other minor annoyances. There is really no way to put a positive spin on these things, I wish that they would go away, and that is why they are baggage.
I don't consider kids baggage at all, because the kids themselves are great and I love kids. I understand the responsibilities might be a negative for some people, and I can definitely see why they might not want to be with someone that already has kids, but to me one has to be a sociopath to not see any positives in kids.
Everyone has baggage. I try to keep mine well packed but everyone once in a while...... stuff falls out. Gotta fix that.
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We all have baggage. This past month I was just loaded up with emotional baggage that I didn't ask for.
Everyone has baggage as many have said already. Everyone has something in their lives that someone else would consider baggage.
What I dislike about this term is it just compartmentalizes something in someones life. Losing a loved one, a relationship breaking up - why should the next person you meet consider it baggage? Problem is, it's the holder of whatever is considered baggage that makes it baggage to others based on their words and actions. If you meet me and say I have baggage, it's because I was unable to properly file it away so it doesn't get in the way of my future. Hard to do? Absolutely.
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