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^^This. That's what I don't understand. If your family and culture are that important, why would you even get involved with someone that won't fit in or be "approved"?
Ugh. Probably. I have a friend who dated a Muslim guy and was very up-front at the beginning, wanting to know if it would be a problem for his family. He insisted it wasn't, and yet sure enough, a year later, he dumped her because he couldn't take the family pressure anymore, and they were almost 40. I thought it was really selfish of him to waste her time like that, especially when she saw a future with him.
Personally, my parents are very anti-interracial relationships and I know they wouldn't approve of me dating someone outside my race. Well, too bad because I'm not attracted to guys my race. Truthfully, I wouldn't let them dictate my love life. I don't want to date someone I'm not into just to please their so-called narrow-minded/backwards views, especially if I want something long term. I don't want to sacrifice my happiness to preserve their archaic traditions.
Why would I be unhappy to make them happy? At the end of the day, their fate is already sealed, what kind of a power do they have to seal mine? None. Zero. Nada. I'm my own entity. YOU are your own entity. You're no one's property. You're not your parents social representative. You're not their puppy. You can do whatever you please.
Honestly, if it were me and say I'm very serious with the person (i.e: I see my future with them), it's either they accept the person or else. I'd rather dump my parents and their idiotic prejudices than to give up on the love I share with someone.
C'mon, once the parents die, the person who sacrificed their love life to please their parents is only going to be left with the bereavement and the regrets about the one that got away because of their PARENTS! Sure, it's a pretty dark argument, but it's true!
My take on it: This is ridiculous. Use your brains man. However, if you feel as though your family is more important than your girlfriend, I suggest you dump her on the spot. Don't drag this until she will want to get serious/engaged. You'll break her heart even more. Spare the girl the pain and let her go if you're too weak to stand up to your parents like an actual adult who can make informed decisions without seeking their parents approval. Are you under conservatorship? Damn.
Personally, my parents are very anti-interracial relationships and I know they wouldn't approve of me dating someone outside my race. Well, too bad because I'm not attracted to guys my race. Truthfully, I wouldn't let them dictate my love life. I don't want to date someone I'm not into just to please their so-called narrow-minded/backwards views, especially if I want something long term. I don't want to sacrifice my happiness to preserve their archaic traditions.
Why would I be unhappy to make them happy? At the end of the day, their fate is already sealed, what kind of a power do they have to seal mine? None. Zero. Nada. I'm my own entity. YOU are your own entity. You're no one's property. You're not your parents social representative. You're not their puppy. You can do whatever you please.
Honestly, if it were me and say I'm very serious with the person (i.e: I see my future with them), it's either they accept the person or else. I'd rather dump my parents and their idiotic prejudices than to give up on the love I share with someone.
C'mon, once the parents die, the person who sacrificed their love life to please their parents is only going to be left with the bereavement and the regrets about the one that got away because of their PARENTS! Sure, it's a pretty dark argument, but it's true!
My take on it: This is ridiculous. Use your brains man. However, if you feel as though your family is more important than your girlfriend, I suggest you dump her on the spot. Don't drag this until she will want to get serious/engaged. You'll break her heart even more. Spare the girl the pain and let her go if you're too weak to stand up to your parents like an actual adult who can make informed decisions without seeking their parents approval. Are you under conservatorship? Damn.
Wow, LostinPhilly, you were on fire with this post. Lol, very well said.
The most important thing is to tell her the truth , the whole truth. If she hopes to marry you she may want a close relationship with your family. She needs to know up front if that can't be.
OP, what IS your plan for introducing your girlfriend to your family?
My siblings and my uncle know her. I just haven't told my parents. Anyways I told her it was a bad idea but she insisted on going tonight. It's going to be an interesting night.
I casually mentioned that my parents were having a dinner party and now my gf wants to go. This is bad for several reasons. First my parents aren't to open to interracial relationships so me showing up with a blonde hair blue eyed chick probably won't fly. Second, she wouldn't really fit anywhere all the older men will drink and play dice, all the older women will gossip about how so and so hooked up with a black or Mexican guy. There will also be an assortment of random people from my younger days who my gf doesn't know and I want to catch up with. She won;t know any of the stories or inside jokes. She basically has no reason to come so how do I tell her nicely that she shouldn't attend?
No, it is not. First, your relationship with you GF is your relationship so your parents are just going to have to deal with it. Second, she may fit very well with the older men and women. Third, meeting random people is a great way to make friends and she'll have the interesting opportunity to learn more about you (and the jokes).
No, it is not. First, your relationship with you GF is your relationship so your parents are just going to have to deal with it. Second, she may fit very well with the older men and women. Third, meeting random people is a great way to make friends and she'll have the interesting opportunity to learn more about you (and the jokes).
[good reasons for her to go]
they're my hood friends I don't know how well she'll mesh with them.
Personally, my parents are very anti-interracial relationships and I know they wouldn't approve of me dating someone outside my race. Well, too bad because I'm not attracted to guys my race.
Tangental, but this seems like an odd blanket statement, and not any less small-minded than parents who don't approve of interracial relationships, etc.
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