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The OP needs to get honest with herself and do some soul searching and realize that maybe this dude isn't right for her, he sounds like a consolation prize and happens to fit her time line driven agenda and a to do box to check off
Do both of you guys a favor and give it a think.......
All I know is that if Mrs. Chow expressed the same sentiment and lack of reciprocal feelings that the OP has, I'd be heartbroken.............. just sayin.....
The OP needs to get honest with herself and do some soul searching and realize that maybe this dude isn't right for her, he sounds like a consolation prize and happens to fit her time line driven agenda and a to do box to check off
Do both of you guys a favor and give it a think.......
All I know is that if Mrs. Chow expressed the same sentiment and lack of reciprocal feelings that the OP has, I'd be heartbroken.............. just sayin.....
"All I know is that if Mrs. Chow expressed the same sentiment and lack of reciprocal feelings that the OP has, I'd be heartbroken....." Thank you for sharing.
You seem really uptight and scheduled. Did you share this schedule with him?
My cousin told me a couple weeks after he met his now-wife that he had met "the one." Now, I don't believe in that, but I think he met a woman who is right for him. They were together for at least 4 years before they married, possibly even 5 or 6 - I can't remember. But he ALWAYS knew he would marry her. And they still took that long.
If I were you, I'd be more keyed up about the fact that he thinks the two of you could break up at the flip of a coin. That's telling me he sees some problems, and you'd better work on that before you start demanding marriage.
You seem really ticked that he's not following your plan. Well, maybe you should find out a little more about what HIS plan is.
At this stage in your relationship based on my experience you should be "head over heals in love with this guy"...and yet it doesn't come across that way...I would move out to better gain some perspective on your situation...you don't have to break-up you just need time and space to re-evaluate your priorities...just think if your boyfriend is willing to let you go...he's not as much in love with you as you thought...which may be a very eye opening revelation...
Thanks for taking the time to read this, I am hoping to get outside perspective on my situation.
I am a 28 year old female who is attractive, financially healthy, educated, loving, fun and kind.
I met my boyfriend 2 1/2 years ago while I was still in University. I didn't feel a spark at first but he was VERY attracted to me, was a good match (friends spoke highly of him, comes from a good family, has a great career, good with kids, etc...) and actively pursued me so I decided to give him a chance. I was very clear at the beginning that I didn't want to date for the sake of dating and I was looking for my future husband. I also expressed that I don't want to be a long term girlfriend because I have never found that attractive or desirable (I understand that it is what many people want and that's great, it's just not me.). Anyways, he understood and continued to pursue me.
Fast forward 2 1/2 years and we have progressed very well. We now live together (first time for both of us), have lots of good times and it's a comfy situation. However, I recently found out that he has NO PLANS to propose to me this year. Nothing. From a man who plans EVERYTHING and says he WANTS to marry me, this was very confusing. I brought it up and we got into a HUGE fight about it in which I almost moved out. His reason for postponing is that he wants the relationship to "stabilize", saying "A couple that's ready for marriage isn't one that will break up at the flip of a coin." However, I don't understand what else I can do but move out. I am very unhappy as a live in girlfriend (ESPECIALLY knowing he has no plans to propose this year). I don't think that I am rushing it because 3 1/2 years is a long time to date for me and I know that will be the MINIMUM.
I feel betrayed, confused and especially ... ANGRY. I keep trying to be fine with the situation and give him the time he needs but I feel angry ALL THE TIME. I only get married (hopefully) once and I don't want it to be after 4+ years of dating. I just don't and I couldn't have expressed my desire anymore clear from the beginning. So what is going on? How did this happen? If he didn't agree he should have said something! I don't want to throw away 2 1/2 years of what we've built but it is being eroded by my anger.
When you moved in... You messed up.
Had you said you will move in AFTER you're married, it may have worked out differently.
It's social pressure. I wouldn't care if I lived in a vacuum, but I don't. There is social devaluation and disrespect that occurs because we've been dating 2 1/2 years and are not married. My parents are not happy and I've had to cut off an entire group of friends to date him this long. Which I was fine doing because I wanted to give him time but I don't think he is mutually reciprocating my sacrifices.
Then your parents and former friends are very shallow people. The best thing you can do for this guy is pack your stuff and walk out the door. He will thank you later and you can go find some guy who is desperate to get married.
You sound like on domineering woman. If you are gunning hard for that ring you best be cooking for him and jumping on him every night. I wish you the best of luck in your husband hunt lots of woman do it as much as they don't like to admit it.
Most of these advices have come down pretty hard on the OP and I think they are unwarranted. Not everyone can find that one magical person to fall head over heels for and a lot of people do stay in relationships rationally instead of emotionally. It doesn't sound like the OP has mistreated her boyfriend during all this time. That being said, I do agree marrying this guy isn't going to work out on the long term so it's best to cut your losses and move on. Two and half years isn't a long time in the grand scheme of things. Marrying the wrong guy for a lifetime is a big mistake.
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Thank you for sharing.
