My parents have disowned me because of gf, now what? (boyfriend, marriages)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was born here. I am a self sufficient adult and my attitude IS American. Their finances mean nothing to me, all their assets are going to my brother when they die because he did everything right ( marry an Indian and pay them lip service) a sufficient portion of it also going to my sister's future dowry. As the 3rd of 4 kids I'm getting nothing.
As painful as it is, you've answered your own question. What you're dealing with is a clash of two cultures; theirs being rooted in traditional Indian and yours being American. If you don't identify with their culture, you're not going to value the things that they value. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like they want to acknowledge the fact that you are culturally an American and that you have no problem with interracial dating.
If you truly believe she is the one for you, then you may face the aspect of living without your parents. If you absolutely need your parents in your life then you may need to eventually let the relationship go.
As painful as it is, you've answered your own question. What you're dealing with is a clash of two cultures; theirs being rooted in traditional Indian and yours being American. If you don't identify with their culture, you're not going to value the things that they value. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like they want to acknowledge the fact that you are culturally an American and that you have no problem with interracial dating.
If you truly believe she is the one for you, then you may face the aspect of living without your parents. If you absolutely need your parents in your life then you may need to eventually let the relationship go.
I don't get the impression his current girlfriend is the love of his life or anything.
It looks more to me like he brought her to the party because he knew how his parents would react and he's getting some kind of kick out of upsetting them.
I don't get the impression his current girlfriend is the love of his life or anything.
It looks more to me like he brought her to the party because he knew how his parents would react and he's getting some kind of kick out of upsetting them.
In defense of the OP... no, that's not why he brought her. It was the GF that insisted on attending, even though she wasn't invited. It's in his other thread, which he should have continued instead of starting a new one.
The question still remains, why don't you like Indian chicks. Indian chicks from India, Indian chicks from America, Americanized Indian chicks, or American born Indian chicks.
Indian but I ain't a muslim. My parents are against interracial dating.
You've rejected your heritage and clan. They have in return rejected you. You seem to be ok with it so I'm not seeing the problem here. She'll have to get over it.
I was born here. I am a self sufficient adult and my attitude IS American. Their finances mean nothing to me, all their assets are going to my brother when they die because he did everything right ( marry an Indian and pay them lip service) a sufficient portion of it also going to my sister's future dowry. As the 3rd of 4 kids I'm getting nothing.
I used to think like you and my parents wouldn't disown me if I married outside of race or culture. However I realized as I got older that there is something to be said for identifying with ancestral origin. Still at the end of the day it is your life and you seem to be ok with this so you should be fine.
I'm curious about your parents though, did they not think at least one of their kids would marry outside of race/culture? I would think that if your older brother married an Indian and presumably your sister will too that they wouldn't be so concerned about what you did. Indian bloodline is secure for at least another generation why are they so adamant about you?
Since your parents are living in this country, they have to expect that at least one of their offspring isn't going to follow the Old World path. They should have been expecting this all along.
I can only add my agreement to the throngs of posters who say It's Your Life. Live it how you choose.
Exactly. It's kind of odd that they are in a new country and think all of their kids are going to marry Indians. Is that even likely? They should be happy one maybe two will marry Indians and go about their lives.
Indian but I ain't a muslim. My parents are against interracial dating.
You really can't do anything about your parents. Your girlfriend will have to understand that. Neither one of you need their approval. You may want it, but you don't need it. I know it's easier said than done, and probably very painful being disowned. The only other choice would be to submit and allow their intolerance to dictate your life choices. You have to spend the rest of your life with the person they choose for you, not them. Do what makes YOU happy. That should be your priority.
So against my better judgement I took my gf to my parents dinner party. I though I could just keep her away from my parents by introducing her to my old friends. However, my mom was able to spot the one white person at the house and correctly deduced that she was my gf. My parents flipped out and now I'm no longer their son until I dump her and submit to an arranged marriage. For all intents and purposes I've been disowned because I have no intention of dumping her. I can live with it but my gf is pretty distraught over it and is asking me how she can get their approval. To make this night up to her I'm going to dedicate tomorrow to what she wants to do. But then what? I don't think she can let things go easily.
It is not about your parents, it about you and your girlfriend that is if you plan on making her your better half til death does you part. It is about you both working things together as a team, in society even minority parents have become less receptive to other ethnicities for what they want for their child, it is not your parents who will be holding you hand it will be your GF. I am not sure how it was told to her that your parents do not like her other than you telling her this, but regardless you must reassure her it is not about your parents it is about you two, and let it go!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
