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A girl I know felt that. She was only a sex buddy with the guy. She says she knew he was using her, but she loved him. I told her what love is, and what infatuation is. Now, she says she doesn't love him, want a relationship, or anything. He's just attractive and she'd like respect and friendship with him. They were sex buddies. She wanted FWB.
What's the difference between a sex buddy and FWB? Aren't they basically the same thing?
What's the difference between a sex buddy and FWB? Aren't they basically the same thing?
No. People get them mixed up--and use the words interchangeably, but they aren't the same thing. The word is actually F. Buddy, but that would be starred out on the forum. So, I have to say sex buddy.
FWB is something that takes time, because you actually have to be friends, and care about one another. The sex is just casual with someone you are close to and trust. It means you actually care about one another as people. You don't wanna date or get married, but you're friends. And the sex is just extra with a loved one you are already comfortable with. There's no respect lost, judgment, indifference, etc.
That's the benefit part. It's an extra, but not the whole of everything. It's like a guy her. He was FWB with a girl. They hung out, bought each other birthday and Christmas gifts, etc. and neither of them wanted any more than what they had.
But if you haven't known each other that long, or aren't connected, it becomes sex buddies instead. Because instead of building a liking and trusting relationship, the sex came 1st, or is the important part.
With sex buddies, it's all about sex and there's no emotional investment outside of it.. Sadly, it's not always mutual. 1 party will think it's FWB or more. But they're just a booty call, and don't know it, or can't recognize the signs.
Some sex buddies will spend time with the other, and do things. But only to get the sex out of it, which again, some can't pick up on.
It's their main goal, not an extra. So, it's the reverse of FWB. So, they don't spend time for companionship, or care about the other. It's just a chore until they get what the really want-sex. Some sex buddies may hate each other, but they'll still get together for the hot sex.
So, FWB is emotional connection-non romantic, and you don't always need sex. You can hang out and not have sex. There's respect and care on both sides. However, you both like sex, and know one another well, so it's something else you do together, and for one another.
That's why is FRIENDS with benefits. Actual friends, with something on the side.
Sex Buddies is just meeting for sex, and see ya until next time.You both don't give a crap about one another outside of sex. If it's mutual.
So, the girl in my example was a sex buddy. They guy just wanted to meet her for sex every few weeks. She however, wanted FWB where she could just hang out with him and connect non-sexually. But when she tried to be his friend, she said he acted like he didn't care about her, or what she was saying. Then she went on to say sex was the only connection they had. So, friendship didn't work out or develop there. Apparently they do hang out sometimes, but the guy always expects sex, even when she doesn't want to. She was on her period one of their meetings and just wanted to hang out, but he pushed and demanded for her to give him oral, which she gave.
Last edited by HappyRain; 05-26-2014 at 06:28 PM..
I've been a big proponent of the FWB arrangement. It has usually worked for me in the past, and now after getting out of a serious relationship it seems like the perfect arrangement for me.
Meanwhile, a lot of you have stated that one always begins to develop deeper feelings, to which I have said "it doesn't have to be that way."
Well now you can all say I told you so, because this weekend I realized that I have developed feelings for my FWB; yes, the long hugger I discussed in a previous post.
I am such an idiot.
No you're not. You're human. It's okay. Everybody has done something like this.
What's sad is not that you developed feelings. That just means you're human. What's sad is that we've come to a place in our culture where people can have feelings and see that as a problem, rather than something to be happy about.
Oh my God, I feel the exact same way.
There are memes everywhere about "catching feelings" and how people hate it. Including me. When you really like someone it initially feels wonderful until you actually get hurt.
To OP, I'm sorry this happened to you. In these cases people don't usually realize until it's too late. I really hope you learned a good lesson from this and I hope you don't make the same mistake in the future.
There are memes everywhere about "catching feelings" and how people hate it. Including me. When you really like someone it initially feels wonderful until you actually get hurt.
To OP, I'm sorry this happened to you. In these cases people don't usually realize until it's too late. I really hope you learned a good lesson from this and I hope you don't make the same mistake in the future.
Oh I have, trust me. Hookups are one thing but FWBs just do not work for me anymore.
I've been a big proponent of the FWB arrangement. It has usually worked for me in the past, and now after getting out of a serious relationship it seems like the perfect arrangement for me.
Meanwhile, a lot of you have stated that one always begins to develop deeper feelings, to which I have said "it doesn't have to be that way."
Well now you can all say I told you so, because this weekend I realized that I have developed feelings for my FWB; yes, the long hugger I discussed in a previous post.
I've been a big proponent of the FWB arrangement. It has usually worked for me in the past, and now after getting out of a serious relationship it seems like the perfect arrangement for me.
Meanwhile, a lot of you have stated that one always begins to develop deeper feelings, to which I have said "it doesn't have to be that way."
Well now you can all say I told you so, because this weekend I realized that I have developed feelings for my FWB; yes, the long hugger I discussed in a previous post.
I am such an idiot.
Don't beat yourself up about it.
Heck, I admire people that have feelings and aren't robots...........
Heck, I admire people that have feelings and aren't robots...........
Caring about someone is beautiful, IMHO.
It's beautiful but sad, because I have to cut this wonderful man out of my life at least for a little while.
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