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Pretty much. These are the oft parroted platitude places any crappy dating advice giver throws out there. How many of us ACTUALLY know people who met their respective S.O.s in said places.
I'd give coffee shops a pass here but they're not the social places they used to be. Between them becoming 'pass-thru' kind of environments and the advent of 'devices' they're generally terrible for meeting people in. Even the hipper ones that I hang out in that retain the old vibe a bit, I can't tell you the last time I met an interested girl in.
Also, stop with suggesting church. A good portion of the population (especially down here in our 20s and 30s) don't do the religion thing.
The cafes here in SF are packed with young, hip people....all completely absorbed with their laptops and smartphones. The only people socializing are the ones who came into the cafe together i.e, people that already knew each other.
I don't get why online dating has such a bad rap. I looked at it as one of the dating tools, and one of the better ones.
How else are you going to meet people? I don't know how dating worked for all of you, but for me in college there was a constant stream of attractive dating opportunities.
After college there were still some, but they started to thin out.
5 or so years after college, you're in the workforce, working hard, and most of your social circle is either past friends or through work. They are not dating opportunities. They are coupled, married, or not age-appropriate.
You can go to awkward singles events like what churches put on, go to some community class, event, or meetup where all the guys will be trying to chat up the single attractive women too, get set up by a friend if you're lucky enough to have friends with datable connections (they probably don't because they're wrist-deep in baby-poopie and most of their current connections are related to these family activities).
Or you can go online.
What else should people do? Randomly approach women at the grocery store that are attractive? Your chances of success at that are just as low if not lower than online.
Even though I never use it, I don't quite understand the bad rap myself. I do understand some of the risk factors involved in online dating. (false profiles, etc.)
Because it is inhuman. Right now the privacy problems is an issue. Also being over 25 is not a bad thing, being outside of your pack is a bad thing. Having stress and health problems is a bad thing.
There's a ton of places you can meet people in person. Coffee shops, church, a bar, a college hangout, join a club, volunteer, I mean the choices are endless.
Oh, suuuure they are!
Coffee shop - I've been hanging out at coffee shops since my sophomore year in college 10 years ago, and literally I got a date from one person out of that.
Church - A higher likelihood of crazies. Also tend to be less attractive than online. Plus I am not intensely religious so I don't feel comfortable "using" a church that way. It would imply to the interested women that I am more religious than I am - that's worse than exaggerating on an online profile.
A bar - 1 in 10 chance of success, not dissimilar from online.
A college hangout - At 31, I'm too old for that now. 23-24 and GRADUATED is as young as I can go.
Join a club - In several. All nice people, but old, I'm talking 50-60+. I look like their son.
Volunteer - Ditto. I have some friends that I hang with from volunteer groups. Bartender to my friend "So you're with your son?"
Coffee shop - I've been hanging out at coffee shops since my sophomore year in college 10 years ago, and literally I got a date from one person out of that.
Church - A higher likelihood of crazies. Also tend to be less attractive than online. Plus I am not intensely religious so I don't feel comfortable "using" a church that way. It would imply to the interested women that I am more religious than I am - that's worse than exaggerating on an online profile.
A bar - 1 in 10 chance of success, not dissimilar from online.
A college hangout - At 31, I'm too old for that now. 23-24 and GRADUATED is as young as I can go.
Join a club - In several. All nice people, but old, I'm talking 50-60+. I look like their son.
Volunteer - Ditto. I have some friends that I hang with from volunteer groups. Bartender to my friend "So you're with your son?"
Similar stories here: Coffeeshop: was approached exactly twice--both good looking but when the first one found out how old I am, he backed off. The second one was way too young and good looking for the likes of me.
Church: funny story--I started to a new church and not solely for the purpose of meeting someone. A handsome gentleman made a beeline for the "new blood" and even sat with me during an Easter service and I found out that his ex-wife was going to the same church and sitting 3 aisles ahead of us. I am now friends with her, lol.
A bar: Approached once when I was there "with the band." Very handsome fella also but told me on the 3rd date that he didn't think he'd be able to get it up for me as he had a hot 30yo he was doing. This right after he told me he was a functional drunk. Wow. No clue on first 2 dates that he was that nuts.
College hangout: LOL, I'm middle-aged.
Join a club: in several--my best bet but I already know pretty much everyone. I keep hoping someone new will show up and a couple of interesting looking prospects have recently joined.
Volunteer: Not much going on there just now as work is so busy and I work for volunteer wages.
I don't get why online dating has such a bad rap. I looked at it as one of the dating tools, and one of the better ones.
How else are you going to meet people? I don't know how dating worked for all of you, but for me in college there was a constant stream of attractive dating opportunities.
After college there were still some, but they started to thin out.
5 or so years after college, you're in the workforce, working hard, and most of your social circle is either past friends or through work. They are not dating opportunities. They are coupled, married, or not age-appropriate.
You can go to awkward singles events like what churches put on, go to some community class, event, or meetup where all the guys will be trying to chat up the single attractive women too, get set up by a friend if you're lucky enough to have friends with datable connections (they probably don't because they're wrist-deep in baby-poopie and most of their current connections are related to these family activities).
Or you can go online.
What else should people do? Randomly approach women at the grocery store that are attractive? Your chances of success at that are just as low if not lower than online.
I agree with you whole heartedly. It's pretty tough as an adult to actually find other singles in your age group with similar interests. Online dating makes it easier, much easier, especially for people who are cramped for time and are in a busy routine.
Unfortunately, online dating has only started to catch up with the newest generation, the older generations are largely against it. How do I know this? 2 of my former girlfriends that I met through online dating told me we had to fabricate a story on how we met to tell her parents, since her parents would not approve of online dating. Since they are now former girlfriends, that was one of the reasons.
I guess I'm not too worried if it has a bad rap or not. Online dating has treated me great and I met some really cool and hot women on there. The only people that really think it's bad are the ones who are too afraid to go out of their comfort zone and will only date people they already know from their own circle of friends.
Most people who are actually out meeting people and dating outside of their own small social circle are probably using both online dating and meeting new people in person .
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