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A co-worker had been flirting with me and told other co-workers he liked me, I find him attractive so I started flirting back and decided to go ahead and give him my number. Well its been a week and he hasn't called but continues to flirt, make small talk, consistently coming to my area, etc. People at work assume we're dating because of the way he acts and treats me but we haven't hooked up outside of work.
So I'm a bit confused about his behavior and why he acts/treats me like we're in a relationship at work when we're really not. I can understand wanting to be cautious since we work together but why let everyone know you're into me and obviously I'm interested since I gave him my number but you still have cold feet to take things further?
I really don't want to mention anything to him while we're at work, I mean that was the whole point of me giving him my number so he could stop making his interest so bluntly known at work but nothing has changed. Its also uncomfortable knowing others think we're dating when we're really not and I some how feel forced into this work romance with him.
Someone else mention to me that him behaving this way could be his method of me not being able to reject him and once he completely sure I'm as into him as he is into me, he'll be ready to move forward... but how long am I suppose to keep up the appearance of us dating when we're not?
I really don't want to mention anything to him while we're at work, I mean that was the whole point of me giving him my number so he could stop making his interest so bluntly known at work but nothing has changed. Its also uncomfortable knowing others think we're dating when we're really not and I some how feel forced into this work romance with him.
Someone else mention to me that him behaving this way could be his method of me not being able to reject him and once he completely sure I'm as into him as he is into me, he'll be ready to move forward... but how long am I suppose to keep up the appearance of us dating when we're not?
This is so weird...
Why would you have to keep up the appearance of dating?
How in the world do you do that?
Flat out tell everyone you are not dating right after you tell him to quit acting like you are dating.
You can only be taken advantage of if you allow it and you can only be "forced" into making it appear you are dating if you allow it.
You are allowing him to control your work life so you need to stop it immediately and I'm sure it does not look good to your employer either.
Since other employees have noticed and mentioned it don't think management hasn't noticed and made note of it.
Perhaps finding an actual boyfriend and have him come into work one day to take you to lunch would be a good move right now.
It's hard to say what's going on with him. Some guys like to play games and just like the attention they can stir up. Either way it doesn't matter what he does. I would keep the focus on you and concentrate on work and do your best to not put any more energy in to it right now.
I actually believe that is probably the case, he has this "work relationship" with me but he has unfinished business that makes him unable to get a real relationship going between us at the moment. He did mention like a month ago to another co-worker some chick was stalking him, I over heard the convo. So maybe although he wants a relationship with me, its not the right time and our "work relationship" is a way to keep me baited so I won't move on.
Why would you have to keep up the appearance of dating?
How in the world do you do that?
Flat out tell everyone you are not dating right after you tell him to quit acting like you are dating.
You can only be taken advantage of if you allow it and you can only be "forced" into making it appear you are dating if you allow it.
You are allowing him to control your work life so you need to stop it immediately and I'm sure it does not look good to your employer either.
Since other employees have noticed and mentioned it don't think management hasn't noticed and made note of it.
Perhaps finding an actual boyfriend and have him come into work one day to take you to lunch would be a good move right now.
He told the manager of our department that we're dating! She's been treating me nicer ever since! The day he told her right in front of me, well I was busy working but I was in ear shot of the convo and that's when I decided to go ahead and give him my number because obviously he's very serious about wanting to date me.
So at this point I'm not understanding his behavior given the fact that we have not seen/talked to each other outside of work. However you are right, he is controlling my work life and it wouldn't be a big deal if we were indeed actually dating!!
He told the manager of our department that we're dating! She's been treating me nicer ever since! The day he told her right in front of me, well I was busy working but I was in ear shot of the convo and that's when I decided to go ahead and give him my number because obviously he's very serious about wanting to date me.
So at this point I'm not understanding his behavior given the fact that we have not seen/talked to each other outside of work. However you are right, he is controlling my work life and it wouldn't be a big deal if we were indeed actually dating!!
Well, you need to say something to him about it. If you're dating, he needs to take you on a date.
Say it straight to his face with a big smile and see what he does.
If you are not actually dating by the following weekend, start ignoring him and get on with your work.
Disclaimer: this is my first post in the Relationships forum.
This guy is ****ing with your work life and he flat-out lied to your manager. If he were interested in dating you, he would have asked you out. He knows where to find you at work and how to reach you outside of work. It may be that he is bored at work and decided to spice up his workdays with a flirtation that he has no intention of acting on. You aren't dating and there is absolutely no reason for you to pretend to your co-workers that you are. As long as you keep going along with his shenanigans, he'll keep doing exactly what he's doing.
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