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I just wanted to get peoples' opinions and experiences on dating in your 20s, mostly your early 20s. How was dating for you? Did you get any important learning experiences from it? Did you enjoy it? Do you feel that dating in your 20s is important especially for growth socially and mentally?
In my experience I haven't dated for quite some time now, my mom and some of my friends have said that I should date casually. They say I should get some experience for when I do want to date in the near future. I do talk to girls on occasion through text or email at times or when I volunteer, in fact someone from my old high school texted me awhile back.
I definitely would like to hear peoples' opinions and experiences!
I was in a serious relationship for most of my 20s, and sometimes I feel like I missed out on some valuable experiences. Other times I think maybe it was good that I learned more about myself and what I wanted from a LTR through the experience I did have. I say do what makes you feel comfortable though. If you don't want to date casually, why should you? It's your life and only you know what's best for your situation.
I am in my early 20s, and my dating life is non-existent. lol So, I have no hands-on experience. But I learn about relationships, what I looks for, and what to expect by observing other peoples'.
My parents relationship, plus the relationships questions on sites I go to. Seeing how the fail or work-out, what to avoid, etc. Sometimes observing can give you experience and answers, You don't always need to do it 1st hand.
As to their opinion that you should date to gain experience. Eh. I was a 40 yr old virgin when I married and my husband said that's the best sex he had in a long time. So........ either, I'm just naturally awesome in bed or my husband has really been in loooooooong dry sex spell in his life! Which he did! LOL!
So don't worry about it. When you are ready, you're ready. Practice is not essential for relationship. At least not for me. All you need is common sense.
I think the experience was something I've benefited from. I started off my 20s in a long term relationship, which I ended when I was 22 (he was the college party guy who seemed so great back in the dorms, but who I soon realized was pretty much still a kid and an alcoholic to boot). Then I did about a year of lots of dating. After spending most of college in a LTR, this was my time to get to know lots of guys and sift out what I liked and didn't like, and figure out what my needs and wants were regarding a relationship. Yes, I had a lot of fun, but I learned that I need committed monogamy, and that I could not "play the field."
Then I got into another LTR (well, not too long, just about 2 1/2 years) with a guy I figured fit all the criteria I had been discovering about myself. I thought he was the love of my life and that we'd get married. Then after we broke up (he dumped me, which crushed me), I got involved with a guy for about 3 months and I broke his heart. I learned that it was not good to get involved so soon after being dumped. I still feel bad about that guy, who I know really loved me. Then I avoided dating for about a year, then just started casually dating on and off for the rest of my 20s. I would go long period of time with no dating, then go on a few dates, then not dating for a while again. At 30, got into my latest LTR (now I'm in my 40s).
I think I learned a lot from the long term and short term relationships--a lot about myself, and a lot about relationships and how they work (and don't work). I also learned a lot about warning signs--warning signs of a guy's personality problems, warning signs of infidelity, warning signs that someone was being false or just putting on a good show, warning signs that I was picking the wrong guy, warning signs that I was going to stop feeling attraction for a guy some time soon so not to get too close.
By my later 20s I knew myself a lot better and I had much more confidence. Once I got to the point where I could honestly say I was happy being single, and if I found someone, that would be great, but if not, I'm still fine, THEN I was ready for the right relationship.
I dated one guy my freshman year of college, didn't date my sophomore year (that I can recall), and met and dated the man who would be my husband my junior year. My senior year and a couple of years after graduation we were long distance and sort of "open" (age 20-24) and during that time I dated a couple of guys fairly regularly. And had many casual liaisons as well.
Hubby and I moved in together when we were 25 and married at 26. That was the end of my dating life for the next 20 years! I am glad I had fun when I could, and I was ready to settle down after that. No regrets.
Mostly non-existent. Very similar to how it is now, actually.
Ditto here (for my 20s anyway--didn't even have a single date from age 20-26). I am having better luck with men now that I am older (more dates and have dated more men). I really think that's the norm for a lot of people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam
I think I learned a lot from the long term and short term relationships--a lot about myself, and a lot about relationships and how they work (and don't work). I also learned a lot about warning signs--warning signs of a guy's personality problems, warning signs of infidelity, warning signs that someone was being false or just putting on a good show, warning signs that I was picking the wrong guy, warning signs that I was going to stop feeling attraction for a guy some time soon so not to get too close.
And this is what I feel I missed out on. I don't have good relationship sense now--I didn't get that education then that you got (although I am getting it now). But not dating much in my 20s wasn't really a conscious choice so there wasn't much I could have really done about it. Just keep moving forward today is all I can do .
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