Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
A guy who never makes any gestures that indicate romantic interest (flowers, a small gift, offering to pay once, or bringing a picnic lunch) will be assumed to have no romantic interest. He'll be friend-zoned. If the woman loses interest and moves on, and he's bitterly disappointed, he only has himself to blame. He has to signal the nature of his interest in some way. Splitting the bill is fine, but he has to come up with some clear sign to indicate what he sees the purpose of the "hanging out" to be.
Obviously, I must be having trouble explaining myself, since you're not understanding me. I am saying that if you treat me the way you would a male friend, you BETCHA I am not going to consider myself as more. End of story. You want me to know that you think I'm special and you LIKE ME? Do something special. Are you poverty-stricken? Then tell me and have some sort of plan to make me feel special. You don't want to bother? Don't! I'll consider that you view me like a male friend and not much else.
That is not what you stated in your post. You asked me to find a post where you claimed to not view a man as a romantic prospect if he didn't pay, and I did. You can try to defend yourself by saying that you only wanted him to offer to pay, but nobody will believes you.
According to YOUR OWN WORDS, if a man doesn't pay for your dinner, you wouldn't want him as a boyfriend. Period.
That is EXACTLY what I said. If he never ever makes an offer to pay, I'm just like a male friend. Fini. The End. Don't expect to move forward.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TehSamurai
That is not what you stated in your post. You asked me to find a post where you claimed to not view a man as a romantic prospect if he didn't pay, and I did. You can try to defend yourself by saying that you only wanted him to offer to pay, but nobody will believes you.
According to YOUR OWN WORDS, if a man doesn't pay for your dinner, you wouldn't want him as a boyfriend. Period.
Seeing a lot of threads about guys wanting girls to pay, but I'm curious about the guy not offering to pay. If you're dating a guy who makes just as much if not more than you, but every time you go out to dinner or lunch, he always has it split, does this say that he doesn't intend to be your bf? I don't mind splitting, but if he does it every time, I'm going to think he doesn't see long term potential. Maybe it depends on the person. I have had platonic guy friends who didn't want anything sexual from me not mind paying.
Why do women equate money with how much a man likes her?
So you want to treat a girl like a DUDE but want her to pretend that's not happening?
False dichotomy and hypocrisy in one sentence. You want him to pay to show romantic interest while you do what? Just show up? Asking you to pay for what you ate is not treating you like a dude. The fact that you even think that reinforces my point about women feeling entitled to free food.
A. On the one hand there's a dude who treats me like another dude. He says, "Hey, let's meet at such-and-such place." I can read all over his face his suspicion. His mannerisms and words tell me that he thinks I'm desperately in need of somebody to buy my dinner because if he doesn't buy it, hell, I might not eat at all, and he's SURE I'm trying to find out what his bank balance is..
B. On the other, there's a guy who clearly is crazy about me. I can see it in his eyes. He doesn't have much money, but he's so thrilled by me that he invites me out and tries to pay. Not an expensive place, but a place. He's not suspicious and not thinking I need to empty his pockets. Instead, he's spending all his time showing me how interested he is in me, in what I say, in how I look, in my background, in me.
Now, which of the two am I more likely to do my hair and makeup for? To put on a pair of tight jeans and sexy heels for? To want to know all about him? To want to kiss him? To want to go out with him again? The paranoid psycho in A who clearly has issues with the female gender, or the guy that's awesome guy that's crushing me and showing me how much in B?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 14Bricks
Why do women equate money with how much a man likes her?
I think the woman should offer to pay on the first date, but the guy should insist otherwise and pay for their meals.
And assuming she has interest, she can say "it's on me the next time."
I've heard some people say that takes away from it being genuine.
The guy I'm seeing has ALWAYS paid for us when we've gone on 'dates,' and even recently when we started hanging out and going out to lunch, he offered to pay.
Aside from situations (he's in a financial pickle), it might be an indication of whether he sees it going further. Also, a guy friend of me actually said HE personally thinks that when a woman offers to pay (esp her half) on a first date, there will be no second date. He said it means she doesn't see it long term and wants out.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
