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When it happened to me, he wasn't taken but I was. It upset me that he didn't say anything before when I wasn't taken.
Well, I didn't share their feelings so I was okay with them not telling me sooner! I've also had lots of guys tell me that they were falling for me when they knew I was taken - meaning they told me at the time they felt it and not later. That didn't really upset me but I felt bad. But it would upset me if someone told me they had feelings for me while they were with someone else because I would feel really bad for the person they were with. I can't imagine being with someone who was confessing their feelings to someone else behind my back.
OK so here is an interesting story. I'm almost 26, been graduated from university for about 4 years now. One of my old college friends (he's in his 30s, he was getting a Masters, & is now in his Doctorate) liked me back in the day. We liked each other really,
We used to hang out every now & then, he even introduced me to his sister & invited me for family dinner. I always got the feeling that he liked me, but he never asked me out...
Now, 4 years later,we are BOTH married & he decides to pour his heart out to me in along FB message, expressing his feelings & 'cowardliness', his words--not mine. Every now & then he will FB message me asking how I'm doing, I felt bad, but I wrote to him & told him he needed to grow with the woman he was with & love her very much.
I have a feeling he is not happy with his marriage & he is still a newlywed...
have any of you ladies/gents witnessed this? An old friend confessing their feelings AFTER you were taken?
Oh, it happens!
I've witnessed it in a group of 'friends' who decided to date and dump each other. So they switched partners and married the wrong one, and then confessed to the best friend of their partner's, also a best friend of their's (a really small inner circle of friends) how they lost their chance and they were devastated to the point where I think the guy was on lithium.
When my husband informed an obsessed ex of his that he had proposed to me and that I had accepted his proposal, she told him that he needed to divorce me because I was not good enough for him. She told him that she was supposed to marry him... not me.
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It happened to me over 30 years after I graduated from High School. To be honest, I didn't know how to respond. How do you respond? It's a ridiculous situation, and I don't want to be to harsh to that person, but it's a bit delusional if we're being honest.
I did my best to not be rude to her, but I let her know under no circumstances could anything ever work between us. I suggest you do the same.
OK so here is an interesting story. I'm almost 26, been graduated from university for about 4 years now. One of my old college friends (he's in his 30s, he was getting a Masters, & is now in his Doctorate) liked me back in the day. We liked each other really,
We used to hang out every now & then, he even introduced me to his sister & invited me for family dinner. I always got the feeling that he liked me, but he never asked me out...
Now, 4 years later,we are BOTH married & he decides to pour his heart out to me in along FB message, expressing his feelings & 'cowardliness', his words--not mine. Every now & then he will FB message me asking how I'm doing, I felt bad, but I wrote to him & told him he needed to grow with the woman he was with & love her very much.
I have a feeling he is not happy with his marriage & he is still a newlywed...
have any of you ladies/gents witnessed this? An old friend confessing their feelings AFTER you were taken?
Actually, he did ask you out. The family dinner was him asking you out. Maybe he was waiting for you to reciprocate with an invitation.
This is so sad! There's a lot of this, it's quite common. Guys can't get up the nerve to be up-front about how they feel, and a golden opportunity (or several) slips through their fingers.
But it would upset me if someone told me they had feelings for me while they were with someone else because I would feel really bad for the person they were with. I can't imagine being with someone who was confessing their feelings to someone else behind my back.
I think there's more of this going on than most people are aware of. It's sad. People don't always know their SO as well as they think they do. You see people in love with someone who's actually pining after someone else, or even actively pursuing that someone else.
Well, something close to this happened to me. Had been involved with a girl for a while, then she decided she needed "space". Yea yea. I get it. She wants to be free to see someone else or something, never rode THAT horse before. I had been quite taken with her, we seemed to have a good relationship, but I've heard the song before.
Sure thing. No worries. Life goes on , right? I'll admit go being a big bummed, but short of a broken heart, so its all OK. Coje weeks later this lady I met when I was in the hospital for a bad infection in my leg that required an aggressive treatment called me. She was a nurse that was on my surgical team. Lol, I guess you could say we had an ...intimate...connection. She had certainly seen me at my worst and most vulnerable, and she asked me to dinner. Wow! Of course I accepted. She bad only, ever, seen me at my absolute rock bottom, and still saw something she liked? Gotta love nurses.
We bad a great time. She was just pure delightful. After I think it was our third date, the other girl found out from a mutual friend I was seeing this gal. This was in the days before cell phones ( thank God!!) But my answering machine would fill up every other day from her wanting to "talk".
Finally just had to call her, went something like this; "So you're seeing someone"? " Umm..yea". "Well..who is she, how did you meet?" "At the hospital, she was one of my nurses when they had to do that deep debridement" "Oh...we'll...is she nice?" "Very, and why do you ask"? "Well..I thought we were just taking a break, not breaking up....(choke sputter tears cracking voice )
You get the picture. Lol. . Of course she hadn't been seeing anyone (knew better) she didn't want to lose me, she just needed a break to think, things were just moving to fast blah and on. I was only 25, young and dumb but not THAT dumb. I knew she was seeing this guy who drove bus for the club she worked at, she was 20 and this guy was in his late 30s, mutual friends are good for info that way. Lol. She needed her space alright. For her older guy fantasy, but all of a sudden she's just madly in love with me?
Nope. Sorry. Not taking the bait. So glad I didn't too. The gal from the hospital was older than me too. She was 31.long story short, she had to move away for a killer job back East. That broke my heart but it was the best year I had in my 20s. Moral is...when they all of a sudden can't live without you after you've moved on...its best to STAY moved on.
It's a fight or flight situation, a confrontation with an obstacle blocking you from obtaining your desires
It becomes a choice between confessing your feelings in hopes they stir something in the other person or backing off and respecting their choices.
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. I had been quite taken with her, we seemed to have a good relationship, but I've heard the song before. 
That broke my heart but it was the best year I had in my 20s. Moral is...when they all of a sudden can't live without you after you've moved on...its best to STAY moved on.
