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Another guy with limited relationship experience that didn't go well for him is stating that "we" women are too selective, or that we're only interested in a certain 'type' of guy which isn't his type.
Guy perspective: I know that if I went to a bar tonight dressed well, and hit on a guy who didn't look like he was attached, I could have sex within a fairly short amount of time. A lot of guys really have a limited desire. But I don't want to do that, I did do that at one point in my life, in my college years, and boy was that unfulfilling, it was like exercising, not anything like the meaningful sharing that goes on with two people who love each other and trust each other. No matter how 'interesting' the sex was, as a woman, it meant very little. I might as well have gone out and run a couple of miles. I think this is the guy perspective, that this kind of meaningless sex connection is what there is, and all there is. And yah, some guy that looks great is probably going to have more success in that scene.
But, and here is the mature woman's perspective, now that I'm old enough to be my mom when I was college age, if that makes sense. I would NOT not not ever have done that in the first place if I had a CLUE how great sex was with a man I was committed to, and he to me. The right stuff all going on...makes the college age hook-ups seem pathetic and stupid.
Yes, you know where I'm going with this, why not make an effort to have something meaningful with someone you are genuinely attracted to, that you have things in common with, that you like hanging around and talking to?
Why continue to be sad about the old way of doing things, that didn't work. Its time to try something that does, don't you think so?
Why not figure out what it is about yourself that you'd want to change if you could to attract THE ONE person you'd really like to attract? And then work on being that person?
And if you don't attract them somehow, then theres' bound to be someone who does want you.
Another guy with limited relationship experience that didn't go well for him is stating that "we" women are too selective, or that we're only interested in a certain 'type' of guy which isn't his type.
Guy perspective: I know that if I went to a bar tonight dressed well, and hit on a guy who didn't look like he was attached, I could have sex within a fairly short amount of time. A lot of guys really have a limited desire. But I don't want to do that, I did do that at one point in my life, in my college years, and boy was that unfulfilling, it was like exercising, not anything like the meaningful sharing that goes on with two people who love each other and trust each other. No matter how 'interesting' the sex was, as a woman, it meant very little. I might as well have gone out and run a couple of miles. I think this is the guy perspective, that this kind of meaningless sex connection is what there is, and all there is. And yah, some guy that looks great is probably going to have more success in that scene.
But, and here is the mature woman's perspective, now that I'm old enough to be my mom when I was college age, if that makes sense. I would NOT not not ever have done that in the first place if I had a CLUE how great sex was with a man I was committed to, and he to me. The right stuff all going on...makes the college age hook-ups seem pathetic and stupid.
Yes, you know where I'm going with this, why not make an effort to have something meaningful with someone you are genuinely attracted to, that you have things in common with, that you like hanging around and talking to?
Why continue to be sad about the old way of doing things, that didn't work. Its time to try something that does, don't you think so?
Why not figure out what it is about yourself that you'd want to change if you could to attract THE ONE person you'd really like to attract? And then work on being that person?
And if you don't attract them somehow, then theres' bound to be someone who does want you.
Wow, you got that from the OP? I thought he was just asking if women didn't like men as much as men like women. And I can't imagine why that would be true. Women have to be more cautious, because they're more vulnerable, but that doesn't mean they don't like men as much.
I don't know why there seem to be so many men who come and go on this forum, who don't seem to be aware of the physical power difference between men and women, and its implications for women's dating behavior, and also the "O" differential, and how that affects women's willingness to have ONS. These are very basic issues in male/female relations. Why don't so many of the younger guys understand this? OK, I could see why virgins wouldn't, unless their fathers gave them a talk. But why don't the experienced guys know these things? Why interpret reasonable caution as "not being fond of men"?
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 06-22-2014 at 10:29 PM..
: ) Ruth, I didn't actually read all of what OP wrote, I was writing to other posters' here too, just generalizing and lumping it together with my opinion. But, about what you were saying here, women have to be more cautious, that's true. We do, but in my opinion, it definitely does not mean women in general don't like men as much.
I thought that was part of my generalizing and lumping things together, that men who feel like they have to point out that ALL women act in a certain way probably need to address what it is about themselves that would make themselves feel more attractive and desirable to a woman or to women.
: ) Ruth, I didn't actually read all of what OP wrote, I was writing to other posters' here too, just generalizing and lumping it together with my opinion. But, about what you were saying here, women have to be more cautious, that's true. We do, but in my opinion, it definitely does not mean women in general don't like men as much.
I thought that was part of my generalizing and lumping things together, that men who feel like they have to point out that ALL women act in a certain way probably need to address what it is about themselves that would make themselves feel more attractive and desirable to a woman or to women.
Thx for the clarification.
Yeah, I don't understand why caution is being mistaken for distaste or aversion. The OP isn't the first one to make that mistake. It seems to be fairly common.
Parents need to talk to their kids about these things. But as long as there's "sex education" in the schools, parents will assume the basics are covered, and will avoid talking about the subject. But kids don't need to know, necessarily, how to put a condom on a banana. They need to know the subtler things about the emotions involved in sex, about how different women's sexuality is from men's and how to address that, etc.
Like replay the same story on the plane, but make me a man who was attractive to the woman. I probably could have asked her to do anything and she would have.
Why do men think like this? This isn't how women think. If she's not into hanging out with strangers, it likely applies to any stranger. And how do you know she wasn't meeting a bf in that city?
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