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I'm a 28 year old woman. Most of my life, I've been told by people that I am unattractive. I'd rather be by myself for the rest of my life than to be used for sex. My question is, why do men who don't find me attractive think that it would be easier to have sex with me? why do men think that someone they find to be unattractive will put out easier? I read somewhere that because ugly women get so few offers for sex, they will be happy to give it up to any man who asks. but for me that's not true. Personally, I don't think any woman wants to be used for sex unless she's a prostitute. I'm turned off from being thought of in that way. it's a turn off to be considered so ugly that I'll be easier to have sex with. I'd rather die celibate than to not be taken out on a date, than to not be approached with respect, than to not be given flowers to, than to not have doors opened for me. I'd rather die celibate than to be used for sex. it's a turn off for me to have a man try and manipulate me because his intentions are to try and get sex as quickly as possible. I'm considered a butterface, so I have a nice figure which I cover up like a nun, because I'm tired of men asking me for sex or trying to get sex from me when they don't value me or even find me attractive. It's not my job to satisfy a man sexually who is not my boyfriend. when I tell some of these men that, some have pulled out money like I'm a prostitute. Or like money will help me to feel less like a human being. like if they give me money then i'll feel more like getting used for sex. I'm so angry and so frustrated, that I've thought about carrying mace and a knife and going in on the next man to disrespect me, but I don't want to do that. So most days, I try to avoid going outside and when I do go outside, I have my mp3 up loud and if I see a man trying to talk to me I just keep walking because I don't know who's getting ready to disrespect me, or who just need help finding directions. I'm black, and I live in the ghetto. It's not just black men, but I've had three white men, two Hispanic men, and some black men approach me like this. just because of how my face look, not the way i dress. I'm not trying to date anymore, I'm trying to be left alone.
Paragraphs are your friend. I've never heard of men actually seeking out unattractive women thinking they'll be "easy", except as a theory put forward by some men on this forum. Unattractive women are usually invisible to men.
OP You're free to do as you wish. Interestingly, many men today feel the same way, but on a different issue. They've decided to forego relationships and marriage with women because they believe lots of women only use men for what they want from life, financial support, protection, social status and children.
All those men should move out of the ghetto. LOL!!
Paragraphs are your friend. I've never heard of men actually seeking out unattractive women thinking they'll be "easy", except as a theory put forward by some men on this forum. Unattractive women are usually invisible to men.
Move out of the ghetto, if you can.
This is true. I've turned down unattractive women for sex. I definitely don't seek them out for that.
I agree with this... but typically dark skin like (India Arie) black women with typical african american features aren't usually in magazines to begin with. you have a small amount of women with that description in magazines except they don't have the typical features of a black person. for example, jessica white got a nose job... black women aren't considered the type that can fit the standard of beauty to begin with.
Ever think that maybe you aren't as unattractive as some are telling you and you seem to think?
I've known women that aren't traditionally beautiful that are really stunning and have to beat guys off with a stick.
This is true. And with recent advances in technology, we no longer need a partner for having children either. So even men can have children without wives, for those that want it.
Personally, I think that's great. I'd much rather have a child (and a live-in nanny) than a wife. If I'm going to be at someone's beck and call, I at least want to know that that person won't ditch me when things get tough. Children can't do that. AND they have part of my genes to boot. Win-win.
Children sometimes do ditch their parents. Sometimes they murder them. Did you miss the memo?
What type of men are approaching you? How would you rate them in terms of attractiveness relative to yourself?
What type of men do you prefer? Don't say that you're open-minded and will date any good man unless you really mean it. Are you only interested in above-average looking men over '6-0" tall? Do you like below average, short men? You have to figure out your target audience. That is, what kind of men are you attracted to versus what kind of (quality) men you can attract.
You must not be nearly as unattractive as you think. If you're consistently getting men to want to sleep with you, you must be at least average looking. As Ruth already stated, truly unattractive women are largely invisible to men (just as truly unattractive men are invisible to women).
I agree with this... but typically dark skin like (India Arie) black women with typical african american features aren't usually in magazines to begin with. you have a small amount of women with that description in magazines except they don't have the typical features of a black person. for example, jessica white got a nose job... black women aren't considered the type that can fit the standard of beauty to begin with.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Just be a good and decent person. Put yourself out there, even online if you have to. A good man will find you. Of course, dating will always consist of sifting through the rubbish to find the right match. Put forth some effort, have some patience and keep a realist outlook. You will not find a perfect mate, but you can find somebody who would make a great partner for life.
Realistically speaking, my wife, while not unattractive, won't win any beauty contests. Superficial guys would look past her and that's awesome for me because in my eyes, she's the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my entire life. If she were a supermodel, she likely wouldn't be my wife.
Don't get down on yourself. Low self-esteem doesn't help anything. It's not your fault that guys just want a one-night stand. For every one good man, there are twenty jerks, if not more.
Last edited by lovesthebass; 01-12-2015 at 12:17 AM..
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