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Old 06-22-2014, 09:23 AM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,534,867 times
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Yes, we all know that looks aren't everything. Let's say you meet someone who's interested in you who has a lot of qualities that you find attractive. Let's say that the person is also physically attractive, but just not what you usually go for. If you've been obsessed with blondes all your life and always imagined yourself with a blonde, would it be fair to "settle" for a brunette if you know that your love for blondes is so deeply ingrained that you'll never EVER really stop lusting for blondes? (No, this isn't about Elliot Rodger.) I'm just asking whether it's possible to go against your type and truly be happy with that decision. What do you think?
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:28 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,068 posts, read 107,003,261 times
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I think the more flexible people are with their preferences, the more chances they have to find happiness. Kind of obvious.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:31 AM
 
8,518 posts, read 15,598,295 times
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I would never get hung up on something as trivial as hair color. And I don't see it as settling if you go for someone who doesn't look quite like the people you're normally attracted to.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:42 AM
 
Location: Up North
174 posts, read 229,542 times
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How about asking her to dye her hair? It's a real quick fix.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:43 AM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,400 posts, read 6,337,132 times
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I'm not picky about complexion, hair and eye color. I preferred men around my height, so 5'9", but I went out with men who were 5'8" and it was no biggie.

There are certain things I don't or try not to budge on. Certain features. But it depends on the individual's features and how it all suits him.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:43 AM
 
14,078 posts, read 16,534,867 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberated View Post
How about asking her to dye her hair? It's a real quick fix.
I'm just using hair as an example, but it could be any trait that you generally prefer.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Earth
4,575 posts, read 5,162,828 times
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I THINK I could.

Now, the most guys I see are fiction. Tv/Books. Because where I live doesn't give much variety, or good options.

Now, usually I tend to the the gruff around the edges, but soft types. Alpha with the passionate/sensual/loving side.

But there was a film I watch, an old 70s film. The guy I liked was not classically handsome, nor was he a tough guy either. He was silly and goofy. But I found him attractive because he seemed fun. He seemed like a guy you may be able to go out and laugh and have a great time with. That made him cuter. He was a doctor, so he wasn't an idiot. But he didn't take himself too seriously. Least, that's the impression I got of him. And he did some weird stuff in the past, but was confident in who he was, and had no shame admitting to it.

So, if a guy doesn't seem completely submissive/wussy, then if I got to know him and he was fun and sweet, I may be able to date him. It really depends on the guy rather than me making a general statement for what I would do.

So, I go for the alpha type, and have a fantasy of getting that. But chances are, if I do get someone, he will not be what I pictured. But if so, it's because he may be better. There are times when you're attracted to something, and you want it, but sometimes you don't get what you want, and it turns out to work better.

My friend liked the tall, muscular, shaved, bad boy types. Her boyfriend sounds alpha--not taking crap. But he's fat, hairy, and she states he isn't cute. He's physically the opposite of everything she wanted in a man. And I told her that, and we both laughed about it. She agreed he was, but said she loved him and wouldn't trade him for anything.

So sometimes what you want, isn't as good as what you end up getting--even if it's different, provided you don't "just settle." And to me, settling is going with, and staying with, someone you don't like, can't see anything with, or know is bad for you, but you keep them for lack of other options--in your opinion. If you genuinely like the person, and they are just wonderful, then it's not settling just because it's not what you pictured.

And going on the traits I usually go for. Some guys I liked I thought were plain ugly at first. But they had personality traits I liked, then the whole package became sexy. Their personality, and their looks.

And the reverse. A good-looking guy, but he was a jerk and very spoiled and whiny. So, that killed his looks as well lol

Last edited by HappyRain; 06-22-2014 at 09:56 AM..
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:47 AM
 
Location: ATL Area
103 posts, read 128,535 times
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I wouldn't really comprise on my desired personality traits, but if it's a physical trait I wouldn't usually go for but it works for them then yes, I would date them.

You could find that something you never thought you'd like ends up being something you can't live without
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:53 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,068 posts, read 107,003,261 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Passion Fruit View Post
I wouldn't really comprise on my desired personality traits, but if it's a physical trait I wouldn't usually go for but it works for them then yes, I would date them.

You could find that something you never thought you'd like ends up being something you can't live without
So well put! Love can surprise you, definitely.
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Old 06-22-2014, 10:01 AM
 
33,387 posts, read 34,650,303 times
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i dont focus in an any particular physical trait. for instance i love women with long luscious hair, but if the women prefers short hair, its not a deal breaker.
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